[00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to Friendly Competition, a podcast to discover the best of all time. I'm Nick Carey, alongside my co host and best friend, Cody Lena. We discuss very pop culture topics and narrate on to truly the best of all time, or as we like to.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Call it, the boat. Before he gets a foot on the boat, we put him into a sweet 16 style tournament. We argue each round, and we decide a winner. Nick, what criteria do we use? We decide he steps foot on the boat.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: Whatever the hell we want. Cody, do you want to tell them what we're talking about this season?
[00:00:42] Speaker B: Absolutely. My wife's out of ten. I'm home alone. I'm in the dark, scary night all by myself without a big, strong woman to protect me. And I've got all these fears now, Nick. I'm scared of everything. When we last recorded, I had no fear. I was a big, strong man. But you know what they say, behind every big, strong man is a big, strong woman. She left.
[00:01:00] Speaker A: She gone. So now everything, everything is a new fear machine.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Okay? We don't live by those traditional values, but Catherine does most of the laundry. I do most of the dishes.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: That's so disgusting, Cody. That's disgusting to know this about you now. I feel like you are such a pig, a misogynist, a capitalist, because that's also part of the patriarchy.
[00:01:29] Speaker B: So now I'm scared of the washing machine. I'm scared of the dry well. I've always been scared of the dryer neck and knows that it's just a lot of stuff going on.
[00:01:38] Speaker A: Yeah, it's tough when the lady's out of the house. You're like, oh, when the cat's away, the mice will play. No, the mice stays in the mice hole because they're like, that cat. I don't know. I kind of felt better when I knew the cat was around.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: Turns out the game I played was annoying my wife for attention if she's not around. I kind of just sit around. Honestly, I clean more when she's gone.
[00:02:01] Speaker A: I'm glad to hear that that's part of your relationship, too, because it's one of those things where if Kellyanne isn't home, if she's out with her friends that night, and I get done with whatever I needed to do, and I'm just kind of like, what do I do next? I do just clean. Like, there's something about, like, well, she's out doing stuff. I should be doing something. I don't want to just have her come home and see that I was on the couch she wouldn't care. That's what she would. But I'm like, I got to do something.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: I'm scared.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: Oh, no. Yeah, exactly.
[00:02:30] Speaker B: We're talking about fear. The fear of being alone, the fear of being a nobody.
[00:02:36] Speaker A: What is the fear of being a nobody? I wonder what that's called. What's that character?
I'm scared of being a nobody.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: That's happy Gilmore, baby. I just scared sometimes. Scared of being a nobody.
[00:02:49] Speaker A: Yeah, it is.
[00:02:50] Speaker B: How did I not know? Duh.
[00:02:55] Speaker A: Gilmore phobia.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: I wanna kiss you all over.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that's. No, that's gonna sound great. That's gonna come great. That's gonna come through great. On our mic, you clipped.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Everyone's so hard on that one.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: Yeah, because I'm so talented. That's what that's about. I'm just so good at it.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: All right. So proud of you.
[00:03:22] Speaker A: Oh, have you not been on?
[00:03:24] Speaker B: No, we fixed the problem.
I'll edit. It'll fix it. Okay, fine.
I'll leave this in. It's fine. I got a microphone. Now we're back in the game. Yeah.
[00:03:36] Speaker A: In case you're wondering why Cody sounded awful and I didn't even realize it either, but, yeah, now you sound better. Thank you. All right, folks, here we are in the final four of best phobia. And here we have the group a champion, ephediophobia, the fear of snakes going up against arachnophobia, the fear of spiders, and then the group B champion going up against group C champion. No, I don't like the way I said that. Hold on. All right, here we are, folks, in the final four of phobias, where we have the group A champion, ephediophobia, the fear of snakes going up against the group B champion, arachnophobia. And then on the other side of the bracket, we have acrophobia, the fear of heights going up against the group D champion, blossophobia, which is the fear of public speaking. Cody, where do you want to start?
[00:04:25] Speaker B: All right, let's start with the fear of heights and the fear of public speaking. Nicholas? The fear of public speaking. I've done my research. Okay? Yep.
[00:04:33] Speaker A: You spoke to the masses.
[00:04:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I just stood out on the sidewalk and talked to everybody that walked by, and it sucked.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: But what if that's what that was? Every time you're like, man, that's a crazy person. No, that's someone in therapy working through their public speaking. Maybe take that lesson, folks. Maybe it's not always so awful in this world. Maybe it's just people trying to do better for themselves.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: Okay, Nick, maybe it's not, though, because I had a guy one time when I was at work, I go to bars, right? I go to bars, and I take their orders, and I make sure they got beer for the week. And he ran up to me and he said, hey, long time no see. And I said, I don't know if we met, man. And he goes, nah, dog, I'm with you now. And I said, I'm working. And he goes, I'm working, too, then. And he just followed me to, like, three bars, just standing behind me as I did my job, and I did not like it. I wouldn't say that.
[00:05:25] Speaker A: That's public speaking, but that's a problem. You're right. I mean, that's not the best thing that's ever happened.
But that guy's just looking for an internship to put on his resume. Once again, see, once again, it wasn't that bad. See, you're the bad person, the misogynist that you are and capitalist that you are. You couldn't see the opportunity that this man was creating for himself to put an internship on his resume, I hope.
[00:05:51] Speaker B: So I get a call, and it's like, hey, do you know a Tim Mitchin? And I'll be, no. Says here he interned with you for a few days.
[00:05:58] Speaker A: And I'll be, what? What?
Yeah, I did your routes with you, said he followed you around. Then you know, you have to do five star review.
[00:06:07] Speaker B: Give that guy five out of five stars.
[00:06:10] Speaker A: Would recommend any job you have. Probably would have made him this. Would you hire him again? I didn't hire him to start with.
[00:06:17] Speaker B: How do we conquer our fear of heights, though, if we're going to talk on the street corner to every person that walks by? Okay, that's how me and Nick are doctors now. We're going to solve all these fears. How do we solve heights? Do we just have you walk? We should put a GoPro on Jeff.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: Hardy and just back watch what he does.
[00:06:32] Speaker B: Just let him put no, like, I don't want him in wrestling ring.
[00:06:35] Speaker A: Just like his day. Just everything that he does in his day is in preparation. Hey, watch everything that he does, because whatever he's doing, follow those steps. Because this man, he just jumps off.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Shit.
[00:06:48] Speaker A: Has no fear of heights, has zero fear of heights. So you need to just see what is he doing day in and day out that you could emulate. What do you think Jeff Hardy does? Jeff Hardy wakes up. Is he on the top bunk? Does he jump down?
[00:07:02] Speaker B: He jumps down and he tries not to land on his brother Matt. And then he runs out into the yard, and I think he just puts on some face paint and starts playing a guitar.
[00:07:11] Speaker A: Poorly, I might add. 3 hours.
Just a grown man outside in his yard just playing guitar, singing nonsense songs. And you're like, is this going to help?
[00:07:23] Speaker B: Good. Watch the whole thing.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: It's good stuff. No, keep going. Keep going, dude. Follow along, dude.
[00:07:29] Speaker B: Here's the thing.
[00:07:30] Speaker A: Anything that I feel like someone would want to tell you to get rid of heights, right? Like some type of immersion therapy. Right? It's. Every single one of those terrifies me. There's the one where you're on. I can't remember where. I think it's in the space needle in Seattle where they're like, all right, put your body against the window. Now watch the window fall forward so you can fall into the city.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: No, thank you.
[00:07:56] Speaker A: And it tilts out, like 15 degrees. It's not a lot, but it's more than a window is supposed to. And I'm just like, no. Or in Vegas, they have their own needle where they shoot. Like, it's a little roller coaster that the only reason it exists is to shoot out, like, 20ft outside of the building. But then it stops. There's a big blocker there that stops you. What happens to that? I don't believe you. I have someone who doesn't have a fear of heights. Do not believe you when you say no. It works every time. Okay, sure. It does.
[00:08:26] Speaker B: It. And then it's going to knock in a one time. It'll be me. Right? Exactly. Nice try. Yeah.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: I'm like, fear confirmed.
[00:08:33] Speaker B: Fear confirmed.
[00:08:34] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: Awful idea.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: These are all terrible ideas to help someone.
[00:08:39] Speaker B: If you don't want to break the fear of heights, then let's make the fear of public speaking make sense. What if, now, if people don't like what you're saying in public, they can fight you? But now. Yeah, I'm afraid of talking in public. They might beat my ass. If someone says to me, I'm like, no one's going to beat your ass, but let's get to a world where I'll be like, yeah, don't talk that shit. Then don't get up in public saying that stuff. You know what I'm saying?
[00:09:02] Speaker A: So you're saying what we need to do is replace.
[00:09:05] Speaker B: If you're going to be afraid of public speaking, I'm going to make you afraid of public speaking.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: Really? Put it in fear enough.
So now it sounds like what you're trying to do is replace one fear with another.
[00:09:19] Speaker B: Basically.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: It's not that I'm afraid of public speaking. What I'm afraid of is that if I public speak, I will get my ass beat.
[00:09:27] Speaker B: Exactly. Or if we don't want the violence. If we don't want the violence. If you public speak, we don't like what you say, we do get to hate you personally as a person.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: Sure. How do we tell you that? Like, how do we make sure? Because also, I do feel like that's part of it. So I don't think.
[00:09:44] Speaker B: I'm glad you asked. Nick, now is my time to introduce you to what I've been working on in secret for the US government for the past six.
It. Yeah, I call it a social credit score. Okay? So now, when I don't like what you say, I can give you a thumbs down frowny face, and that goes into your public personal, and then people can look up how many frownies to smileys you have, and that's how you get a job.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: This was a great episode of Black Mirror, by the way. It's one of my favorite.
[00:10:13] Speaker B: Fuck. Damn it. It is one of my black mirror.
[00:10:15] Speaker A: Oh, you haven't. Okay.
[00:10:17] Speaker B: I thought I was doing some fun.
The social score from China. I know they got that.
[00:10:22] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, no, that would be cool. I do enjoy that. And I will say it works. It worked in that black mirror episode. I mean, it ruined someone's life.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: But.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: How do you.
[00:10:34] Speaker B: I just don't understand.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: Should you replace a fear? Is that what we should be? Take someone, be like, all right, you're afraid of public speaking. What if instead of that, would it help if we made every public speaking event that people have life or death? Right. Make it so that way, if you're like, hey, I'm afraid to speak in public. Okay, I understand that, and that's a noble and understandable fear. If you don't go out there right now and give that presentation, I'll kill you.
[00:11:07] Speaker B: Well, that's not fair for the ladder, guys. So are we going to kill people who don't climb ladders? Okay, all right.
[00:11:16] Speaker A: We saw. Obviously, you seem on board for public speaking, so great. So, yeah, if you don't get up.
[00:11:21] Speaker B: That ladder, I'll kill you.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: And just put it at that. And just be like, if you don't do it, you're dead anyway.
[00:11:28] Speaker B: Hey, if you're afraid of something, you die.
Welcome to America, too.
[00:11:33] Speaker A: Ran by Cody and Nick.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: We don't have any fear.
[00:11:37] Speaker A: You and I, permanently sponsored by the brand. No fear. Because we fucking meant it. We lived that shit when we were kids. We had our no fear t shirts.
We drank all of our energy drinks. And now we live this lifestyle because it's like. Because the only thing.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: Hey, Nick. No. We live this lifestyle because we don't. We'll kill you.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: We'll kill you. You have to.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: You have to live this lifestyle. You have to do this.
[00:12:00] Speaker A: That sounds like new cops are.
It's like, yeah, we got rid of the police, but they're new cops now, so they're not really there. You can't call them for help with stuff. But if they see you looking like a punk bitch over a do, they can be judge, jury and executioner.
[00:12:17] Speaker B: Exactly. Nick, I'm glad you brought it up. I'd like to show you this project I've been working on for six years for the american government. I call it a social credit score.
[00:12:25] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:12:25] Speaker B: And it's got frowny faces and thumbs up. But it's also got police, too. Electric boogaloo. The name is important. We got to keep boogaloo in there for reasons I'll get to on the third hour of this presentation.
[00:12:37] Speaker A: Yeah, and if you press that social score button, calling the police on them, they're like, hey, I just want you to know I called the police.
[00:12:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Dude, if you have to go to jail, that's ten frowny faces.
[00:12:48] Speaker A: Yeah, that's bad. You don't want. It's hard to bounce back from ten frowny faces, man.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: Here's the thing, Nick. What's up? I don't have the fear of public speaking. And at the end of the day, I don't understand what you're afraid of.
I get that you are afraid, but I'm like, what are you afraid of? Like, afraid of speaking in public. I'm like, okay. Why? Because I'll look dumb. I look dumb every day. What else? Because people might not like me. No one likes me. And, Nick, when we're together for more than 15 minutes, that you're over it.
[00:13:17] Speaker A: Maybe that's the thing. Maybe it's just more like you really got to talk someone through and be like.
[00:13:22] Speaker B: If I ask the acrophobia guy, I'm like, why are you afraid of heights? Because they're like. Because fall, hurt. I'm like, fall. Do hurt. Fall.
[00:13:28] Speaker A: Do hurt.
[00:13:28] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:13:28] Speaker A: Fall, do hurt. That is true. There's no getting around that.
I can't be, like, ground soft. No, it's not, is it? Ground has never been soft. Even our softest ground.
[00:13:40] Speaker B: Sand.
[00:13:41] Speaker A: You want to land in sand from a high? It would feel like a thousand knives scraping across your body if you landed in sand.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: Nick, if we really break it down, there's probably been four speeches in the history of humankind that have actually changed anything. The rest no one has any recollection of. So just get over it.
[00:14:02] Speaker A: You might have solved it. I think anyone who listens to this might be like, damn, what am I freaking out about?
Because you're right.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: What? We have the every speech you did that you felt terrible about in high school and you bombed. No one. Remember. We don't care dog thing I cared about.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: Here's the thing.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: I was watching you in high school. I was texting.
[00:14:23] Speaker A: I want to so badly call someone out from my memory and be like, I do remember yours, but genuinely, I don't got one. That's how true that is. As much as I want to be like, oh, I'll always remember when you cried going through your speech. I know. I've seen it, but I can't put a face to it. I'm just like, oh, yeah. I just know it happened.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: That's because we conscious. Our subconscious does that. It doesn't. Doesn't. That's a waste of space. Get that out of here. Yeah.
[00:14:55] Speaker A: It's like, man, no, you.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: So unless you're, what, the king speech guy?
Malcolm X, maybe Martin Luther King, Jr. One of those guys.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: Moses, Hitler.
[00:15:05] Speaker B: Probably had a pretty moving one. Otherwise, I don't see how that. Shit. Yeah, like, other than that.
[00:15:10] Speaker A: Other than those. Not many speeches get remembered. You're right. You're totally right.
[00:15:16] Speaker B: So I got to lock in acrophobia. Dude, it makes sense.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: Fall, hurt. I'm going to go with you here. I'm going to go with acrophobia as well. All right, next up we have our creepy crawlies. We got ophidiophobia, fear of snakes going up against arachnophobia. The fear of spiders.
[00:15:35] Speaker B: Leg count, isn't it?
[00:15:39] Speaker A: No, they both have venom.
[00:15:41] Speaker B: So.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: They both have venom. So that's the one way. They are similar, but. Yeah, so it's like. It's probably just legs.
[00:15:45] Speaker B: Wait, is there anything with two legs in venom?
[00:15:48] Speaker A: Can I ask you something?
You know how there's spiders that are sleek and sexy looking like a black widow, and then you have your spiders that are hairy like a tarantula? What does hairy snake do to you?
[00:16:02] Speaker B: I do not care for that one bit. Do.
[00:16:04] Speaker A: I'm just like, we don't have hairy snake. And I'm like, I. And I hope we never find it.
[00:16:11] Speaker B: Just some arctic mammal snake. Yes. What dude, that's not right.
[00:16:18] Speaker A: What happened here?
That was supposed to be the ultimate evolution. We just went too far south.
[00:16:23] Speaker B: It has to be it.
[00:16:24] Speaker A: Snake person would be dog. Imagine if you're is being cold blooded better than being warm? We're warm blooded. I know this because our blood stays at a certain temperature. Cold blooded. Right. Your body fluctuate with the temperature that's around you.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:39] Speaker A: Doesn't that seem like better?
[00:16:40] Speaker B: No, dude, I get cold all the time. I'm miserable right now in my office. I'm freezing today.
[00:16:46] Speaker A: Okay, hold on. Am I wrong that. It's not that you adapt to the surroundings, is it that our blood should always be a certain temperature? So if it goes below that, if you're cold blood, because I know cold blooded animals want to be on hot rock. Like, I understand that, okay?
[00:17:01] Speaker B: If it gets too cold for cold blooded animals, they fall asleep. If it gets even colder, they do die.
[00:17:06] Speaker A: So do we. So what's the difference? It seems like they're at least adapting.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: Yeah, but if it gets too cold outside, if it gets 30 degrees outside, Nick, you don't have to go to nappy time. You can do some jumping jacks. You're going to be okay.
[00:17:18] Speaker A: All right, so maybe it wasn't the best. I was just trying to see if we missed out on the ultimate evolution.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: No, the ultimate evolution is us with a bunch of legs.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Do you think you need more legs?
[00:17:27] Speaker B: I think we need more legs, yeah.
[00:17:30] Speaker A: I mean, more arms.
Does a spider have four arms and four legs? Two arms and six legs. Six arms, two legs.
[00:17:39] Speaker B: I think two arms. Six legs is what makes sense in my head. Okay. But I think that would just be the most metal looking one.
[00:17:45] Speaker A: You don't know wrong. Six arms, two legs. Goro, that's sicker. Dude, if I'm just on two legs, I got six arms to do to mess with you.
[00:17:57] Speaker B: Like, not only can you imagine the defense, if he was on the basketball team in high school, you show up to play basketball in middle school, you get onto the court and belfu shows up, and they got a man with two legs and six arms.
And he's got so many arms, he's got to be tall, at least six foot. You got to need places for those joints.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
You're not going to win.
How do you play offense against a guy with six arms?
[00:18:26] Speaker B: He's got his hands up high for the shot block, but he's also got hands down low going for the steal, and he's in the passing lanes. Right.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Would basketball cease to exist if we had six arms. Because it's just like, hey, it's kind of pointless.
[00:18:41] Speaker B: The question I always ask is because I say, let the dog play. That's where I stand most of the time. But a lot of people are like, well, stop. Ferry has six arms. He can't play.
He let him play. You got it.
[00:18:55] Speaker A: We're not going to be rude to the guy with six arms. He didn't choose to have six arms.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: Maybe he did choose.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: He might have chosen, or at least his parents did, right? They were like, hey, he did choose.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: To be an absolute menace on the basketball court, though.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: He didn't choose six arms. But he was like, yo, but there is benefits to this.
[00:19:15] Speaker B: Yeah, dog, I am going to fucking. I think, okay, two legs, six arms. That's. We settled it. There's always four four.
[00:19:23] Speaker A: You can always go, four four. You could keep it even keeled.
[00:19:26] Speaker B: Four four is the worst. And I don't know why, but it is absolutely the worst when you think about it.
[00:19:31] Speaker A: The wrong one, somehow the wrong one, the balance gets off quickly.
[00:19:36] Speaker B: How does the person. It's like the body weight. It looked like. I don't even understand how that would work. It looked like if someone broke the spine of a book.
[00:19:45] Speaker A: But see, that's why I do think four four is what spiders have. Because I think you would have to be parallel to the ground. I think your arms are still acting as legs, essentially, but you can do some grabby front stuff.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: I don't want to walk around in my hands.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: I think just the composure.
[00:20:01] Speaker B: I'm not going to. Dude, I'm too classy.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: I will not be doing this.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: I will not be doing this.
[00:20:08] Speaker A: Well, some people won't have a choice when we get to America, too.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:12] Speaker A: Some people aren't going to be given the choice.
[00:20:14] Speaker B: Bathtub full of what? Which one are you least likely to get?
Think. Okay, you go if you got it.
[00:20:22] Speaker A: No, here's the problem. Obviously, I don't want to go into either. But if you're telling me, Nick, you have to, or we're going to kill you. Nick, one or the other. You get in one of these two tubs, or you take a I. Then it's not even about the fear. It's that at some point, then I want to feel snake all over me. I want to feel snake rubbing.
[00:20:44] Speaker B: If I'm going to do this, I might as well get horny. Okay.
[00:20:50] Speaker A: At least if we unlock a new door up there in the horny mansion.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: Be like, here's the thing. I could see snake feeling okay. I cannot see spider feeling. Okay. I don't see a world, but see, but that doesn't make.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: The choice isn't out of fear. Once again, the choice is out of pleasure. So I still think on its face. I just like, there's something about a snake. Every single time I see a snake, instant fear spider. I assess the situation. Right? If I see a spider, I'm like, okay, do you seem. How big are you? Right? How dangerous do I think you really are? Or how bad is this really going to be? Because also, I know you probably could, but I don't feel like you can just step on snake and kill snake.
[00:21:37] Speaker B: No. Right, okay.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: Step on spider. Spider gone. I can't hit a snake with a rolled up newspaper and that do anything besides piss it off.
[00:21:48] Speaker B: No, it's going to be mad at you. Here's the thing. I would take bathtub full of snake because I feel like when I get out of the bathtub of snake, it's a lot easier for me to assess whether I have any snakes still on. Sure. Right? Yeah. That's where I'm at. I think they're both be miserable. But when one's over, I'm sure it's over.
[00:22:03] Speaker A: Yeah. My suffering is done.
It's gone.
[00:22:07] Speaker B: I know this.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: Yeah, spider, that's one of those where you'd go into your hair and you'd be like. You would just feel something crawl down your face and you'd be like, kill me.
[00:22:15] Speaker B: Shoot me.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Where's that gun to the face right now?
[00:22:17] Speaker B: Kill it.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: Kill the spider with gun.
[00:22:19] Speaker B: Okay. I know this is probably a myth, but they say you eat like, six spiders a year, right?
[00:22:24] Speaker A: Correct. I mean, you're correct on both counts. It's a lie.
[00:22:28] Speaker B: But no one ever said I ate six snakes a year. Is that anything? Is that anything?
[00:22:34] Speaker A: That'd be wild.
[00:22:35] Speaker B: You know what? If you start that rumor, why don't we just make that meme? You don't know it, but you eat six snakes a year in your sleep.
[00:22:42] Speaker A: That's literally how the spider thing started. So it literally is like they just put that shit in an almanac once or whatever, and then we just were like, well, that's the truth. It was in a book. And if you're going to lie, if you're going to lie, that's all I'm saying. If you're going to lie, why not say we eat six spiders or six snakes? Because honestly, it makes just as much sense. A snake could just run up me, go down my body and just land itself in there. I wouldn't know.
[00:23:09] Speaker B: It just coil up right in my belly.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:11] Speaker B: And then I'd be like, oh, it.
[00:23:13] Speaker A: Probably dies in there. And then I poop it out the way God intended.
[00:23:16] Speaker B: I'm lucky in arachnophobia, I think. I don't know where you're at, but I think arachnophobia, I think spiders are scarier than snakes.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: I think snakes are scarier than spiders. When it just comes down to it. When it comes down to the two, even when I'm on a walk with Sandler and a little gardener, snake just, like, runs across the pavement, I'm like, every single time a spider has to jump out for me to be like, fuck that spider. Otherwise I see a spider as, like, kind of a homie. At least I'm not a fan of it. But snake is always scarier. So we will settle this the only way we know how with the american voting coin of 2004, as brought to you by random.org. We got John Kerry facing up, which means George Bush is on the other side. Low seed gets to pick. That's going to be me with a fidiophobia. We got to go with the ultimate snake in the grass, George Bush.
[00:24:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Flip.
[00:24:07] Speaker A: John Carrey. All right.
[00:24:09] Speaker B: John Carrey. Spiders, baby.
[00:24:10] Speaker A: Arachnophobia going on.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:24:14] Speaker A: Arachnophobia versus movie about.
[00:24:17] Speaker B: There's no movie about being afraid of heights. Hold on. They got movies about big snakes all the time. They got movies about little snakes. They got snakes all like. You see snakes in movies, but no one's ever like, I'm so afraid to make a whole movie out of it. You couldn't do it.
[00:24:29] Speaker A: Okay, but that's not true. There is a movie, and here's the thing. When they make movies about spiders and scary spiders, it's always kind of ridiculous. There is some campiness. Generally speaking, the movie that they made about the fear of heights was about these two women who one of them, it's their job to climb up the big towers that you see along, dotted along the countryside. The big. Over 200ft in the sky has a little red light on it. They're red and white towers, right?
[00:25:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: It's this girl's job to do it. And she brings her friend up there and then, oh, no, the equipment doesn't work, and now they're stuck. And that movie, like the actual tangible, palpable fear viscerally inside of you as you're just like.
[00:25:19] Speaker B: I would argue that's not afraid of heights, though.
[00:25:22] Speaker A: That's 100% afraid of heights, because walk up there the wind's blowing you around. I think one of them's injured. So that's why they can't walk down. I don't remember the whole fucking thing. I just remember.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: But if they had a fear of heights, they wouldn't have went up there. What I'm saying is they're not afraid of heights. They're afraid of their shit breaking.
[00:25:38] Speaker A: I'm not talking about the people in the movie, Cody. I'm talking about you as the viewer.
[00:25:41] Speaker B: Right.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: If you're watching something and you have one of these fears, I feel like if you have arachnophobia and you're watching a spider movie, you're like, you can kind of laugh. There's going to be silly things. Someone's going to grab a shotgun and just starts blasting. Big spiders, big goo everywhere. Right?
[00:25:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:56] Speaker A: But if you have a fear of heights, you're like, yes, that's the thing.
[00:26:01] Speaker B: That's what it is.
[00:26:03] Speaker A: I think at the level at which if you have this fear, you're more likely to turn off a movie like that for Heights than be like, oh, this is kind of funny. And this is actually helping me get over my fear.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: Well, okay, is that a pro for spider then? Because we can monetize spider for movie. No, we can make money off so.
[00:26:21] Speaker A: That the fear is like, you can have more fun with it. It can be silly. There's some fun there. Heights is just like you said. Heights is actually, I would argue Heights is more the fear of the ground too far away.
[00:26:34] Speaker B: Heights? Yeah.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Once ground get too far, I'm like, oh, no. Because if I go meet ground, it's going to hurt. And so I just feel like, I mean, spiders are creepy. Like, there's no getting around that. 100%. I agree fully. Spiders, real creepy. But Heights is something that. That, to me, is just like, duh, of course. And I also can't, I can't tell you to get over it. I don't know how. We've been racking our brains this whole time trying to figure out how to do it, and I don't, don't. We haven't come up with a great solution. I don't think watching Jeff Harden, the numbers don't lie.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: I'm over here doing research. I don't fucking know what you're talking about. Good job, though. Okay, so I ran the numbers on this real quick.
[00:27:16] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:27:17] Speaker B: And as far as fear of spiders is, we need to get over it. And all the fall people, all the people who are afraid of heights are right. Because less than three deaths per year occur from spider bites.
[00:27:29] Speaker A: Less than a year in the continental United States.
[00:27:33] Speaker B: Who cares? It's from the Boston Children's Hospital. So that's probably the United States. That's what I'm seeing right here. But even if that's not absolutely correct, right. Even though that's just a low estimate. The estimate for people who fall and die globally each year are 684,000. Jeez. 684,000.
[00:27:52] Speaker A: That's not even that bad either. Globally, but thousand? Yeah.
That's huge. And let's say that this is just in Boston, right? Let's just say that there's three people a year in Boston who die of a spider bite. Extrapolate that across the United States. Give yourself three per state. Give 150 people for spiders. Because that's the thing, right?
We've done a great job of telling you all the scary spiders. We're like, hey, black widow. You know it when you see it. You're like, hey, that's the bad one. I'm going to bow out here. I'm going to get also way.
[00:28:24] Speaker B: And we have antivenom for spider. We don't have antivenom for fall.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: No, not at all. Yeah, there's no.
We've tried to make big balloon thing you can land in, but we haven't put them everywhere.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: No, we trying. But the government keeps stopping our proposals. That's why I'd like to show you this project I've been working on for six years with the american government. I call it a social credit score. And if you have enough thumbs up, you get a special shirt that inflates as soon as it feels you reach a velocity that would be damaging to your body. Yeah. I call it a falling life jacket.
It does go off sometimes when you just run.
If you're too fast, well, then you.
[00:29:08] Speaker A: Got to slow down. Now you're just moving too fast for life. Calm down.
[00:29:11] Speaker B: Okay?
[00:29:14] Speaker A: Enjoy your run. Don't just try to sprint to the end of it.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: When we're looking at this, just mathematically, it's got to be heights, right?
[00:29:22] Speaker A: At least the heights people have something to talk about.
They have some good points on their side. Whereas, like spider, you're just like. Just also, if you are arachnophobic but you like Spider man, I'm calling you a fucking fraud. I'm calling you out your bullshit then, because you can't like Spider man and be arachnophobic. And I think you do. I think most people, if they're like, I'm arachnophobic. I'm like, okay, I understand. What's your opinion on Spider man? Like, oh, it's like one of the all time best marvel.
[00:29:52] Speaker B: Hell, yeah, dude. Get them, Nick.
[00:29:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:54] Speaker B: I'm at my turn. If you're afraid of heights and you're over six foot three, I'm calling your ass out because that's not fair.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: Hey, man, wait. Because I feel like they have a point to make. Their head is farther from the ground than ours, so if they fall, their head has a lot longer time to gain that momentum to crack itself. I'm almost like.
I'm going to say five, three and below. And you're afraid of heights? I'm like, get over. You got nothing. You see the world from the bottom.
[00:30:24] Speaker B: Like, how can you be afraid of from the bottom and you're still at the bottom. You still do not have a right to be afraid. If you are under five foot tall, you should crave heights.
[00:30:34] Speaker A: Yeah, you need heights. You're going to get through there.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: I'm lucky in heights, dude, I don't know where you're at, but this is the only thing that I'm looking at. All the fears straight up and down, all of them. This is the only one that does anything.
[00:30:48] Speaker A: This is the only one. No fear.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: The only one, like, who's ever died from. Who's died from the dentist.
[00:30:55] Speaker A: Well, okay. Can we say, though, is there something to be said then? Can it really be a fear? Can it really be a fear? If it's something that's like, yeah, you'll fucking die. A phobia is almost something that is like. It's not childish to be afraid of something that's like spiders or whatever, but heights just makes sense. You've ran the numbers. We should all naturally have this. But arachnophobia, you have to have earned that yourself somehow. And that makes it an actual phobia that's hurting your existence. Right.
[00:31:33] Speaker B: I see what you're saying, but I think I'm still going with heights because I think it's a phobia that's in all of us that we all have to overcome every day. So it is the truest of phobias. Yes. Right.
[00:31:44] Speaker A: That's fair. And as we said when we started this mission, this is the one that's okay. This is the one. If you have acrophobia still welcome on.
[00:31:52] Speaker B: The boat, it's okay. Yeah, absolutely. Don't look over the edge, though.
[00:31:55] Speaker A: Yeah, don't. It's going to mess you up. But at least that's kind of softer.
[00:31:58] Speaker B: The water with how fast we're boogieing on this bad boy. Yeah.
[00:32:01] Speaker A: No. All right, acrophobia, fall off the boat.
[00:32:04] Speaker B: You're going to skid on the water. The way this boat moves so fast.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: All right, acrophobia moving on to be our champion. It is on the boat. Congratulations. Thank you all for listening to this episode of friendly competition. If you want about your boys, a few things that you can do, as always, share with a friend, tell a friend. Wherever you're listening to us, make sure you hit that.
[00:32:21] Speaker B: Like that. Follow that.
[00:32:22] Speaker A: Subscribe. Give us those five stars, please.
[00:32:25] Speaker B: Absolutely. Follow us on all of our social media accounts, Instagram X, Facebook. Just look up at friendlycompod. If you have an idea for a 16 team tournament you'd like to see us do, email those to us at
[email protected]. If it's good, we'll do it.
[00:32:39] Speaker A: As always, shout outs to charizard for that intro. Outro music. You want to hear more of their stuff? And over to bandcamp, type in charizard and replace the vowels with sixes. That's going to be it for us. We got a new season coming for you on Monday, but until then, I've been Nick, Carrie, and I'm Cody Lena. It's.
