[00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to Friendly Competition, a podcast to discover the best of all time. I'm Nick Carey alongside my co host and best friend, Cody Lena. Discuss various pop culture topics and narrow it down to truly the best of all time. Or is just going to run it for you, dude?
[00:00:33] Speaker B: Just going to run it. Run it. I was like, yeah, what's going on? Or as we.
[00:00:36] Speaker A: I'm like, you know what? I don't trust him to handle it. I'm going to handle. I'm just going to. I'm just going to do all of it and just keep going.
[00:00:42] Speaker B: Yeah, go ahead.
[00:00:43] Speaker A: Just do the thing.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: We're talking about the X Men. You got this. Go.
[00:00:45] Speaker A: All right. Or as we like to call it, the boat. But for anyone steps forward on the boat, we put them into a sweet 16 style tournament and argue each round until we decide a winner. And then. Then do you. You don't say anything back to me. Then I just go, Cody, or, no, you. Then you say, Nick, is there any criteria use when you decide who steps foot on the boat? Whatever the hell we want. Cody, you want to tell them what we're talking about this season? Absolutely. Have you ever stuck your hand down a drainage pipe? Once, and you were like, man, I really wish that I had superpowers to get my hand out of this drainage pipe.
[00:01:18] Speaker B: You were close. You were close. Okay, let me. Let me do it. Have you ever stuck your hand on, like, a pipe and got it stuck in there and then instead of trying to get it out, you ripped it up and it looked like you had a sword arm and you're like, wouldn't it be radical if I had sword arms? Because I don't think there is an X Men character with sword arms. Nick, that could be you. You could become stab frenzy.
Cause I stab him a lot. That's my big move.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: They're like, okay, but what's your.
[00:01:42] Speaker B: So what's your power? Sword arms. Okay. What else? Legs are also swords.
[00:01:47] Speaker A: Okay. How'd that happen? Another pipe fell into another pipe.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: So you obviously, you don't have any powers. You just have your. Your limbs are stuck in pipes and you sharpen them to swords. Yes, sir. That is what happened.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: That. That is what occurred here. Very much so. But I am. I'm ready to go. I am ready to go. You know, our main guy could just take those off of you, right? Not if I stab him first.
[00:02:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Not if I get to my move. I call the stab frenzy. Also my name.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: Yeah, just me. Like, just pumping. Then they're like, that's not. That's not. It's like when a kid is like, look, I just invented this new dance. And they just start stomping on the ground and you're like, yeah, man, that's.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: Hell, yeah.
[00:02:27] Speaker A: Yeah, man. Good for you. Yep. That's something. We'll call. Don't call us, we'll call you, you know? Exactly, folks, we are here talking about those X Men, and actually one of them kind of does have sword hand. This actually kind of worked. We do.
[00:02:40] Speaker B: I did that on purpose.
[00:02:42] Speaker A: This is why you're better at it. This.
[00:02:44] Speaker B: See my vision, dude?
[00:02:45] Speaker A: I know a lot of times you all think Cody just wants to come up with the most absurd thing to talk about, to just throw nick off, but that's not it at all. No, he really does have the vision. It's just we all don't always see it. And if you don't go on the exact path that he had laid out for you, which was basically invisible, you don't get to a fun, satisfying conclusion. But this time we did, folks, and here we are. Because we do have someone here who does have our closest to sword hands that we're going to get here in group C. So we have the two seed beast going up against the 15 seed Psylocke and we have the seven seed professor X going up against a ten seed night crawler. Cody, where do you want to start?
[00:03:28] Speaker B: With Beast and Psylocke. So Beast is a genius scientist guy who got turned his power. He got turned into a beast, which makes him super strong, super agile. He's just like a monster guy, but he's really smart. Do you think I. Because he's often portrayed as another one of the mutants that would probably get rid of his powers if he could.
[00:03:46] Speaker A: I. I feel like I've seen that in. I feel like that's played out in, for sure, the new X Men. Like, X Men first class. I feel like beast loves being beast in the cartoons.
[00:03:57] Speaker B: Yeah, he digs it. But I'm gonna think, just as a scientist, he loves science. Do you think his fur is just contaminating all his beakers? And they don't let a cat go in and shed all over a fucking sterile lab. And you got this blue motherfucker in here with his hair all over the place. Oh, you cannot tell me he does not shed, because if you're going to tell me beast doesn't shed, then you tell me Chewbacca doesn't shed. And no fucking way.
[00:04:20] Speaker A: Yeah, what are we doing here? Stop. Even when people are like, yeah, my cat's hypoallergenic. They still do. Like, it's just inevitable you shed as a human being. Like, that's why people wear hair nets. You know, it just part of the process. It's a part of the system. I. To that point, I mean, man, anyone. You're not letting beast in your lab. Cause, like, there's gotta be something he can do, right? Or like, he has to.
[00:04:43] Speaker B: He'd have to wear like a full hazmat suit every time.
[00:04:45] Speaker A: I bet he would, though. I think he's like such a man of science.
[00:04:48] Speaker B: He would. Oh, yeah, that.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: He's like, I care about, like, the one thing I always like about beast. I think I mentioned this early on, so I'll just put my cards on the table here. Beast is like one of my low key favorites. And I never really figured it out. I just remember, like, all of the visuals of him reading upside down.
[00:05:06] Speaker B: I do that a lot.
[00:05:08] Speaker A: Coolest. I was like, man, that's like the coolest way to read. And I remember being in like a bunk bed once and I like, try to, like, slap my legs, you know, into. And like, try to read upside down. It's not a good way to do it. I don't know what he's gaining from it. This is one of those very much.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: Where you're like, okay, here's what he's doing, Nick.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: It's.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: This is science. He's making sure all the blood rushes to his brain so his brain gets bigger and he can read the book more good.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: Oh, that is good science. That is.
[00:05:37] Speaker B: That is science. That's how it does work, by the way.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: Sure, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. I. So I'm always, I like beast. Cause I think one of the other reasons I like Beast is cause he really. He really could go from day to night. He is the little black dress of superheroes. Cause he, during the day. What a brilliant man. You know, a great. Obviously. Probably one of their best teachers, I would say. Yeah, you know, but he's probably one of the best educators.
[00:06:01] Speaker B: It's probably. Probably teaches like, math class.
[00:06:03] Speaker A: Well respected.
[00:06:03] Speaker B: We never get to meet those mutants.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Yeah, you're always like, oh, mutant history 101, you know, powers 1002. But, like, who's teaching chemistry? Like, it's still important. Not all of you are going to go on to be the x Men. You need a high school education. And I know the state of New York has very specific qualifications for what counts, what requirements you need to graduate from high school. So someone, I imagine that's just beast covering all of the other stuff.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Dude, can you imagine being like, the math teacher and you have no powers, but you go to the school every day and you're, like, trying, you're trying to teach, like, multiplication tables and, like, square roots and shit, okay, I have the power to. I have blade arms and blade legs, right? I'm stab frenzy and you're trying to teach me math, but you don't have any powers. I'm not going to take you seriously. I'm 17 years old. My arms are made out of swords.
[00:06:55] Speaker A: You can't teach me anything. You know, in that case, when they have to bring in a sub, you know, to who doesn't have powers to teach. Colossus is right there in the classroom on that day. He's. He is very much acting as the vice principal. He comes in and just like, hey, everyone, Jeff is going to be teaching today. I know Jeff. Yes. He's a human being. We're not going to give Jeff any shit, ok? If I hear. I'm going to tell you right now, if I hear one word from Jeff, that any of you used your powers for any reason other than to help this man, everyone's getting suspended. Every single one of you. Every one of you.
[00:07:33] Speaker B: You have to consider, as long as Jeff's here, you have to consider him as colossal. I just want to read the fucking. Oh, my God. I want a yearbook from that school so bad.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: You're just flipping through.
[00:07:43] Speaker B: It's like storm, Nightwing, Black Hawk, ice blaster, stab, frenzy, Jeff, Wolverine, Cyclops.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: Because the most important weapon is your brain. And that's what Jeff's here to do, is teach us. I I think, like, that's what I like about B is like, he goes from, he's that teacher, but then, you know, homeboy, when you watch him fight, you know, he tears people apart.
[00:08:06] Speaker B: Yeah, he just bites them and shit.
[00:08:08] Speaker A: Yeah, he just, like, what? He has strong claws and he's super strong and super fast. What? That's, of course, how he's fighting. He's going to rip people alive. And you just watch them like, oh, beast. God damn. Wow. Oh, my God. Okay. You okay? Wow. Like, that's what I love about him. Now we have, do have Psylocke here. So this was one that, once again, we went to our list here by ranker.com where you can go vote. And this was the top 16 from ranker. So this is what we are. We are letting the X Men fans tell us. And they have Psylocke here at 15. I know we haven't really talked about their rankings. Are we focused on our own? But they did have Psylocke at 15, which we ended up. That's fun. But, Cody, I'm having a real hard time being like, this one feels like the fans like it for not the right reasons.
[00:09:02] Speaker B: Yeah. This, I would say Psylocke, from my experience at least, is a huge fan service character. She.
[00:09:07] Speaker A: You're not. Yeah, yeah.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: She's a. I'll tread this water, Nick. I got you.
[00:09:12] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:09:13] Speaker B: She is a very attractive, large breasted woman who doesn't wear very many clothes and fights with a sword that's got energy, like, psychic sword. I don't know. I just. She never stuck out as, like, a deep, profound character that just was doing stuff.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: No, this is. Yeah. Like you said in that. In that way that women characters can be tended to be written. And this is. And Psylocke is very out of that, like, late eighties, early nineties version, you know, of X Men, where it's like, yeah. I'm just. It's like, so wait her out. So her superhero outfit. Everyone else is in, like, full tactical gear, and she's like, what if I wore a one piece bathing suit and cut out and then just put, like, little straps around my arms? Do the straps do anything?
[00:09:57] Speaker B: Absolutely not.
[00:09:58] Speaker A: Absolutely. But I'll put some around my legs too. What if I wear very high boots? Like, it's just, you're like, this is terrible. Like, and then there, and then, like you said, it feels like the mishmash of power. It seems like the first power she was given was the ability to take her psychic energy and put it. And be like, I want to make this a blade.
[00:10:16] Speaker B: Which. She could make it a blade. Or she could shoot blasts. I get it. Her power was she could take her psychic energy and manifest it in a physical form to blast or sword. Cool. But then she started getting telepathy. Then she got. Now she's immune to pain. And then you couldn't read her mind, but she could read yours, and then she could control minds, and then she could make you just freeze in place.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: It's like, oh, it feels like in lieu of character development, instead of being like, hey, maybe just tell us about, like, her backstory. Like, like, everyone knows rogue's horrible. Like, wishes she could just be normal. We all know that story. It's very simple. And Psylocke, they're like, or we could give her more powers, and that would work too. Huh? That's how you can make a character.
[00:10:55] Speaker B: The kid on the. When you're playing X Men out on the school playground, you have that one kid who picks a power, but they're like, well, I have psychic powers. Okay, cool. But anytime anyone thinks of a cool power, they're like, well, I can lift that, too, because I use my psychic powers. But I put my hands on it so it looks like I'm super strong, but I'm actually using my psychic power. It's like, shut up, Greg.
[00:11:14] Speaker A: Yeah, you can't have them all. Like, also, the thing that bothers me about Psylocke here is you have now introduced into this world Green Lantern powers, essentially. And, like, why? Why did we stop at knives? Why do we stop it? Like, why weren't you like, hmm? Why don't I. If you can take your psychic energy, which also, you have two of the strongest psychics to exist, Professor X and Jean Grey, they aren't doing that. They. Why can't they do this, too? That's. Mike, you've kind of broken your own core rules here about what psychic energy can do. And they're just like. Or it's like, are they just like, nah, we don't like to shut the. That's not what's happening.
[00:11:53] Speaker B: No. You're telling me you could make a psychic energy blade sword with your mind, but you don't want to because you're not into it. Yeah.
[00:12:01] Speaker A: You're just like, oh, that's like what the kids do. That's like basketball players. It's like, why don't shoot threes? Cause that's just not the game I grew up in. Okay, knock it off. Like, learn how to jack it up a little bit. Okay. Like, that's the game I gotta lock in.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Beast, my dude, it's got.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: I'm with you here, man. Sorry, Psylocke. I'm glad the fans like you.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: Maybe. She does have a super deep lore, by the way, and I'm just not privy to it. That's fine.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: That's probably it, too. That's some of it. But, like, hey, don't act. Hey, hey, hey, fans, before. Before you start messaging us, before you start, can you look into your heart and soul and answer the question, why do you really like Psylocke? Can we start with why? Where did it come from me. Can. You obviously found ways to justify yourself.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: Okay, here's the thing. I'm gonna put it this way. I'll just be blunt with it. If you want to come for me and argue about Psylocke, you have you. You can only come to me. If in your heart of hearts you can look at yourself and say you've never masturbated to her, if that's, then you can come talk to me. But if you have, I don't want to hear your fucking shit.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: You don't count, man. Brother, you're out, man.
[00:13:01] Speaker B: Brother.
[00:13:01] Speaker A: Sorry, dude. Sorry, man. You just don't, we're not, I cannot take you seriously. That's not going to work.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:13:07] Speaker A: This advice worked for more things than just that.
[00:13:09] Speaker B: Like it should.
[00:13:11] Speaker A: Hey, man, if you've ever masturbated that idea, I just can't. Then you're, you're, you're compromised. You just compromised and I can't, can't listen to you.
All right, we have here in the next match up here, Nick, Nick, Nick.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: You got to stop this little video at the bottom. I cannot. It's Lizzie McGuire now. I don't know what's going on.
[00:13:30] Speaker A: Ranker.com is wild for their way that they do. Advertisement I'll just say it right now. Rankers is like, hey, what if we just ran a, like, full eleven minute video that I don't believe I can actually, like, click out of? Cody, I'd love to. I, I don't know what to do here for you. I'm so sorry.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: Just get it on a different screen here.
[00:13:53] Speaker A: We're just going to scroll up. I don't, maybe it'll go away, brother. I don't know. Here's what's up. We have Professor X going up against Nightcrawler. Now here's the thing, Cody, that I'm interested in talking about once again, we're going back to ranker.com dot and we're looking here night crawler number four on the Ranker list of all the X Men. They gave them all of the X Men and they were like, you want to know who's my favorite night crawl? I feel like we need to investigate this because one more popular than Professor X, tell you right now, Professor X comes in at a smooth number ten.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: Okay, here's the thing. I think people like Nightcrawler a lot because he kind of fits in this weird power fantasy people have. He's like the ultimate spot. He can teleport if he can see a spot. He's invisible when he's in the shadows. And he's got, he just seems like a cool dude. You know, Nightcrawler, when you watch the cartoon, Nightcrawler is just kind of like a cool guy who has power. Like, he doesn't seem like a superhero. He's, like, kind of got that Spider man effect where part of his charm is that he doesn't want to be a hero, per se, but he's like.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: He's like, it's more fun. He's like, I like that I can. He's like, it's funny to do all this stuff. Like, it's like. It's more wild, but at the same time, like, it's not. This wouldn't be my bag. I just stuck with it.
[00:15:10] Speaker B: It's a responsibility that was given to him, and he's chosen to this.
[00:15:14] Speaker A: In this case, born with. You get born with a tail. You're kind of gonna have to go into being some kind of hero.
[00:15:20] Speaker B: He's only in. His feet are weird. He's got, like, three fingers, too. It's. It's. He's definitely built different.
[00:15:25] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I know that he has a few. I mean. And I know he also has a few different. I think he's been given a couple different backstories over time, know, with mystique being his mother, finding out about that later that I feel like that was just like, oh, shit. Why? People are like, hey, why is Nightcrawler blue? And they're like, ah, fuck.
The answer was, well, it's fun to make blue people. That's really what the answer was.
[00:15:51] Speaker B: Okay, but he's going up against Professor X, VG.
[00:15:55] Speaker A: I mean, the OG. We don't have the X. Mendez without the doctor. Right? Like, I mean, that's. That's his whole sht.
[00:16:03] Speaker B: Yeah, he. He created that. And also, his story's great. All that world War two stuff. That's really cool.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: Right? Yeah. Like, I mean, also the ability to kind of be that counterpoint to, like, if anyone who knows about the creation of the X Men, you know that Professor X is generally considered to be Martin Luther King Junior, and Magneto is Malcolm X. Like, that's kind of the two. The two people that they're loosely based off of, or at least as they started moving along with the comics, that's how they wanted to kind of parallel their conversations, is. It's like, hey, fuck these guys.
[00:16:36] Speaker B: Like, we want.
Yeah, we want the same thing, but we're coming at it from different, different ways.
[00:16:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And so to have that peaceful homeboy who's just like, nah, man. We can do this a different way. I love the aspiration of Professor X. I think.
[00:16:50] Speaker B: Here's the thing about X, though. X. Go and give it to you, for sure. But he's not cool. Nightcrawler there's something like cool whimsy night. If we get rid of Nightcall Crawler, we're getting rid of the whimsy. He is a whimsical character.
[00:17:02] Speaker A: Right.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: His backstory is actually pretty fucked up, but as far as a vibe, he's a very whimsical character.
[00:17:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Because, I mean, he's like, left in a church, isn't he? And then the church isn't super cool to.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: And then they're getting. He's given to, like a carnival that beat.
[00:17:15] Speaker A: It's bad kind of. Yeah. They think of him as a demon. He doesn't know who he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not great. Four, though, Cody, number four. And that's not even to say, like, under. They put some stats under, too, to tell you. He ranks when it's best comic book superheroes of all time is. Is does Nightcrawler have. In the same way that, like, Nicki Minaj has the barbs in the same way that, like, we have the bay hive, we've got swifties. Is there just a fan base, a toxic. I want to say a toxic fan base of Nightcrawler fans?
[00:17:50] Speaker B: I assume they're toxic.
[00:17:52] Speaker A: Who this? They will make sure that this man makes it on the throne. Cause, folks, I didn't finish what I was saying, but I think it's important that you hear this. Number 20 on the best comic book superheroes of all time. 20. You're. Imagine if I would have came to you before this and said, hey, could you name me one east. Just name me 20 superheroes. You're not going to get to Nightcrawler in the top in 20 off the dome. And then even I gave you gave me that list. I said, well, what about Nightcrawler? Would you. You'd be like, oh, no, I don't need to.
[00:18:23] Speaker B: Okay. All right, let's think about this. Does he speak to a generation? Is he like the. Is. There's got to be something here, because I. When I was a kid, when I was younger, I love Nightcrawler. I. Whenever we played X Men, I love being Nightcrawler.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Is it like, is it the bounce? Like the. The teleportation is cool, kind of limited. I mean, as far as it goes, it's not the greatest of the teleportation you're going to get, but I like, it is for me. I'm just stuck here being like, number four. Number four, folks. The. And I don't even. I'm. I'm not even going to. I'll wait. I won't waste your time. You want to know the top three? Here you go. Number three, storm. Number two, magneto. Number one, Wolverine. Oh, guess who we're going to be talking that now. You know, spoilers for the next group who are going to be talking about. Or at least two of them, but, like, that. Those three, I'll give you those three any day of the week. I will give you those three any day of the week and say, those are great X Men.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: I get it. Here's where I'm at, Nick. I think if I'm going to lock one in right now, I'm locking in night crawl over x, because one of the things I like to think about is if I was going to play X Men in the. On the school playground with my friends, who would I want to be? I never picked X, Xavier.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: Just one kid sitting in a chair, like, off to the side. Just be like, hey, you guys should do this. And everyone's like, cool professor X, whatever, right? You know, you're. I mean, that's a great. That. That is one of the. Maybe the best reasons of all time is, like, we all get why he's important. No one here is.
[00:19:42] Speaker B: No, yeah, no one's knocking him. We get it.
[00:19:45] Speaker A: But, like, no one wants to play Professor X.
[00:19:49] Speaker B: When push comes to shove, Professor X won't throw hands. Like, he won't use his powers to do it. Everyone else, everyone else is like, you want these hands on site? Come get it.
[00:19:59] Speaker A: That's the energy.
[00:20:00] Speaker B: I want my comic books. I don't want some guy.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: How does he have a whole team of people who almost exclusively go against his, like, own, like, theory? Like, is it like, hey, I can't throw hands. I'm a pacifist. I would never do that. I do have all of these assassins behind me.
[00:20:19] Speaker B: Well, hey, my. This is my boy, Wolverine. He will throw hands, right? Like, for no reason.
[00:20:23] Speaker A: Dalai Lama. Like, that would be like if, like, the Dalai Lama, the pope, the, like, if they just walked around behind them with just brutal armed guards. Just all people. Like, oh, every one of them has killed at least ten people.
[00:20:37] Speaker B: Each, like, hey, Nick. Hey, Nick. That. I don't think that's too far off, my dude.
[00:20:41] Speaker A: No, I think. No, it's not. But I think in the case of the pope, they're hidden. I think, like, they're around. I think they're more dressed up as, like, other bishops and stuff, but then they pull off the gown.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: I'm not 100% convinced that when the Dalai Lama rolls around with those other monks behind him. I've seen monks. Okay.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: That's right.
Hey, you're right. You're right. Maybe that is part of it. Maybe that is. But I'm with you here. Let's. And I'm honestly afraid of this nightcrawler contingent, if I'm just being honest.
I'm terrified of what this group, how much this group stands. This character who I just thought was like, oh, that's a fun guy. Yeah, that's a fun, interesting character we have there. All right.
[00:21:19] Speaker B: There's. I think he's just one of those characters like we talked about with Gambit, like we talked about with Deadpool, where just people, when they do latch onto them, they just. They really top.
[00:21:28] Speaker A: Or though, hey, top four. That would be like. That would be like in. If we're talking about all these divas, right? I just mentioned three that I think everyone would be like, oh, I would totally allow them to be up there as, like, some of the top female artists in the game right now. Nikki, Beyonce, Taylor Swift. That would be, like, at number four, someone was like, shakira right now. It's a bad pick. I'm not mad about, like, I'm like, shakira is great. There's nothing.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: And.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: But, like, your fourth. Your. Your. Your. The Thomas Jefferson on your mount Rushmore is fucking Shakira. I'm sorry. It feels like we're just missing something here.
[00:22:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. Well, figure out.
[00:22:06] Speaker A: We'll figure it out.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: We have the blue boys. This is the blue man group right here.
[00:22:08] Speaker A: Yeah, this is it. I hope I have. They done a. Just, like, a one panel crossover with the blue man group, and it's just mystique, beast, and Nightcrawler just, like, hanging out with them, just being like, you guys want us to cover for you tonight?
[00:22:22] Speaker B: Like, we're all blue, as well.
[00:22:24] Speaker A: Yeah, like, you guys get it. We're blue, you're blue. Let's have some fun. You know? See the blue man group out on the battlefield, banging on their drums, throwing pain at Magneto.
[00:22:33] Speaker B: That would inspire me, though. That's the kind of stuff I need when I'm battling for the rights of everyone on the planet. The blue man group is the only thing that really gets me going.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: I hear you. I hear you, man. All right, so where are you at right now? Like you said, you do have a love for Nightcrawler. Does that.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: I mean, right now, I think I'm leaning towards Nightcrawler. Cause at the end of the day beast is just a big, hairy nerd, right? He can't. He can't teleport.
Nightcrawler can do all the same stuff. He's not as strong, I'll give you that, but he also can do all the same stuff. Climbing on the walls, jumping around. And he has a prehensile tail that he can hang from. If Beast had a prehensile tail, he wouldn't have to read upside down.
[00:23:09] Speaker A: Why do I feel like so much of this is. Comes down to the tail and no one wants to talk about it?
[00:23:14] Speaker B: I know, right?
[00:23:15] Speaker A: I think this is a weird. I think this is a fetish thing.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:23:18] Speaker A: I think this is like a tail fetish thing. I think people really want. Either they want that tail so they can do stuff with or for themselves, or conversely, they want to see what Nightcrawler what that tail do. Tail do what that tail do. Nightcrawler.
[00:23:32] Speaker B: Even if it's not just what that tail do, which he'll do. I'm thinking, like, if I'm gonna get turned into a big blue beast and I don't get a tail, what are we fucking doing here, man? At least give me a tail that.
[00:23:45] Speaker A: Is not on my fur. That is. I would not. If I. If I have. If I inject myself with the serum, I'm not. Look, I'm not immediately gonna turn around and look at my ass to see if I got a tail. I wasn't expecting that.
[00:23:55] Speaker B: I. Are you kidding me? If I get covered in fur tomorrow, completely covered in fur, claws, teeth, I turn into the beast and I don't have a tail, I'm gonna be pissed off because, I mean, I'll still accept the powers. Great. I'm a superpower mutant. But if I had a prehistoric tail, just. That's next level, dude.
[00:24:12] Speaker A: I just got a whole next level of what? What level? There's. Why would you. Doug, you can't. Congratulations. You don't get to wear pants anymore. I mean, I guess. I don't know if they mean that. Maybe that's your Gantt, your end game the whole time, Cody. Maybe you just never wanted to wear these pants. But I'm just saying, pants are gone.
[00:24:28] Speaker B: Hey. No, I've been playing a lot of Baldur's gate, and there's a lot of people with tails that wear pants. Okay, well.
[00:24:34] Speaker A: Okay, fine. Your tailoring bill is going to be insane.
[00:24:36] Speaker B: That's fair.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: Like, going to a tail. Like, hey, I woke up today with a tail, and I think my pants would fit otherwise, if you could just make me a little tail hole.
[00:24:49] Speaker B: Would there be like a little tail hole? Where do you have like a little button back there? Like a slit that you put the tail through and then button it at the top over it?
[00:24:55] Speaker A: Oh, were people, would you just. Were people, do you think when people.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: First got just, could I wear my pants backwards?
[00:25:01] Speaker A: That's what I was just about to say.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: Is that. Is that how it act? You're like, I'll just put the pants on backwards.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what. Exactly. Problem solved.
[00:25:09] Speaker A: Is that. Is it as simple as that? Now I'm hoisted on my own pit hard. It's like, dog, just put your pants on backwards.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: Who says you have to wear your pants on the front like that?
[00:25:16] Speaker B: Society dude.
[00:25:18] Speaker A: No one's making you.
[00:25:19] Speaker B: Yeah, there's no law. You're not going to get arrested if you wear crisscross. Did it all the time.
[00:25:23] Speaker A: They didn't seem to have any troubles doing. Yeah. Even like, because now I'm thinking about how a pair of pants, there's nothing inherently different right in the, in the way. Unless you're wearing like apple bottom jeans, which are give more room to the ass. I get that. But like, aren't they kind of the same? Isn't it? Wouldn't it just be like, of course the buttons on the front. It would be weird to button in the back.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: If someone had their pants on backwards and you just caught a glimpse of them and you saw their ass pockets on their front and stuff, how long would it take you to process what you were seeing?
[00:25:50] Speaker A: I don't, because I wonder instantly when.
[00:25:52] Speaker B: I saw it, I would understand. I'd say, okay, they have their pants on backwards. I understand it. But that doesn't mean I processed and lived through this yet.
[00:26:00] Speaker A: No, I would have to for sure go around to the back and make.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: Double check the back.
[00:26:04] Speaker A: I have to double check.
[00:26:05] Speaker B: Gotta check.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: You gotta wait. Go ask him. So it's a tail thing. Is that what this is? You got a tail? I. It would be. It would be wild.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: I. I think you're absolutely right. It comes down to tail or no tail. I think if beast had a tail, I'd be infinitely more into beast. And first of all, I'm not sure why that is, but I don't think.
[00:26:23] Speaker A: Well, he's not going to get, he's going to get like a. He's going to have more of like a golden retrievers tale digit.
[00:26:29] Speaker B: I still would dig it. I don't know.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:31] Speaker B: I agree. I am seeing in my mind, I like a golden blue, golden retriever tale. But I still think he's lacking with the tail.
[00:26:37] Speaker A: I just. Here's the thing. I. I think at least maybe nightcraw is a little more on, a little more ability with his tail. I can't be, man, I can't be out in the club. I can't be out. I can't be out anywhere. And all of a sudden I see a nice. A nice attractive woman walk by and all of a sudden my tail's just swapping against whatever I'm sitting against and just like, hitting the wall. And it's just like, oh, what are you so excited about, Nick? I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: I don't know what you're talking about.
[00:27:06] Speaker A: I have no idea. Oh, is it because Psylocke just walked by? No, I don't even know what you're talking about.
[00:27:12] Speaker B: I've never looked at Psylocke. I didn't even notice that she had a hole in her thing. I didn't. I don't know.
[00:27:17] Speaker A: That's a. I don't know.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: No one brought it up, but.
[00:27:19] Speaker A: Yep. First time. First. It's weird that you're bringing. Honestly, I think that makes you kind of. I think that's gross of you to even have pointed that out to me.
[00:27:25] Speaker B: Also, if you've ever masturbated to Nightcrawler, a beast, I don't want your opinions on this. I'm looking at Nightcrawler, dude. I just. This is the tale. You're right. Also, beast can't teleport, which is pretty fucking cool. And Nightcrawler can teleport with his friends, Nick.
[00:27:39] Speaker A: I know, I know. I think I know what's right to do. I just. I know in my heart I've always been a beast boy.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: You've always had.
[00:27:46] Speaker A: I've always had that. But I. I don't think I can for. Cause really, the only thing he has on, I mean, he's probably stronger than him, but then that gets made up with by the teleportation. That's cooler than strength. And like. Yeah, I think I gotta go nightcrawler here. Like, I'm gonna do it because I don't. I think that is the right call. I wanna discover this more. I also want to acknowledge the love and lore of this character. And I wanna figure out, like, what's going on here. Because also, beast, if it's the reason why I think this might not be a kink thing, is because Beast is a built in furry. Oh, yeah.
[00:28:22] Speaker B: Beast. They're okay. All right.
[00:28:24] Speaker A: It's right there.
[00:28:25] Speaker B: We just have to address this now before we get to group D. Let's just get it out of the way.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:28] Speaker B: At. Everyone in the X Men universe can fuck. They can all lay pipe. They can all their head game on point. We just got to get it out of there.
[00:28:38] Speaker A: What's one of those things that comes with the X gene?
[00:28:40] Speaker B: Sex is equal.
[00:28:41] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:28:41] Speaker B: That's why you haven't talked about it. I know we all want to talk about bone and down with these people, but it's equal. It's going to be equally good boning no matter what.
[00:28:48] Speaker A: I agree. No, that's like one of those things with the X gene is like, you just get it. Like now you just got like, you just one of the greatest in the bedroom. That's part of it.
[00:28:56] Speaker B: Yeah, that's part of it.
[00:28:56] Speaker A: It's like in the boys, if anyone's watching the boys, like, you just get. Because you have it. You just have super strength. Like every character that just has a little. Is a little bit stronger than the average human. Everyone in the X Men is better at fucking than you are. Just is.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:08] Speaker A: Just how it goes.
[00:29:09] Speaker B: It's great. Good for that.
[00:29:10] Speaker A: All right, we're going to move night crawler into the final four. And that is it, folks. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of friendly competition. If you want about cha boys, a few things that you can do, as always, share with a friend, tell a friend, wherever you're listening to this, make sure you hit that. Like that. Follow that. Subscribe and give us those five stars where you can. You. You creepy crawlies, I imagine what you call yourself, you fans of Nightcrawler troll holics.
Okay. Okay. First, let us know you call yourselves. And if you don't, if you like either, you can take either one of those. Those are free.
[00:29:43] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:29:43] Speaker A: And. But do take that energy you took to getting him to number four on ranker.com. and could you. Would you mind maybe giving us some five stars?
[00:29:51] Speaker B: Just review.
[00:29:53] Speaker A: We moved your boy through. That's all I'm saying.
[00:29:55] Speaker B: Hook us up.
[00:29:56] Speaker A: Just saying that.
[00:29:56] Speaker B: Yeah. And when you do hook us up, follow us on, all right. Our social media, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and let us know. Send Nick a message saying, hey, I followed you because I'm a crawlaholic. Alcrawolic.
[00:30:05] Speaker A: And I think just a crawlaholic probably is all you'd really need there.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: Yeah, it's true. I think you're right. Anyway. Or you can email us at for the company
[email protected].
[00:30:14] Speaker A: As always, shout out to Charizard for that introductory music. You want to hear more of their stuff. And over to band camp, type in Charizard. Replace the vowels with sixes. That is going to be it for us, folks. We got group D coming out on Wednesday, but until then, I've been Nick Carey.
[00:30:27] Speaker B: And I'm Cody Lena.
