[00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to Friendly Competition, a podcast to discover the best of all time. I'm Nick Carey, alongside my co host and best friend, Cody Lena. Discuss various pop culture topics and narrow it down to truly the best of all time.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Or as we'd like to call it, the boat. Before I get some foot on the boat, we put them into a sweet 16 style tournament. We argue each round till we decide a winner.
[00:00:37] Speaker A: Nick, what criteria do we use when.
[00:00:38] Speaker B: We decide who steps foot on the boat? Whatever the hell we want.
[00:00:42] Speaker A: Cody wants to. We're talking about this season.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: Absolutely. In the world, there are many things to look at, but in the United States, there's only 16. Only 16 things that you can look at. So we got all 16 of the things in the United States that people are known to look at or be around or enjoy in some way. And we took them, and we're going to figure out which one's the best of that.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: Cody, is that better?
[00:01:03] Speaker B: Last time you said I used too many pronouns.
[00:01:05] Speaker C: Yeah. No, no, no.
[00:01:05] Speaker A: This was, this was actually perfect. No, no side tangents, no stories.
[00:01:09] Speaker C: I.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: Can I tell you, if we could have included 17, though.
[00:01:12] Speaker C: What?
[00:01:12] Speaker A: I would have included your eyes.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. I was going to say your eyes.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: I just wanted to include Cody's eyes. If you get the chance to just look in these bad boys, folks, just, ah, it's life changing. It's magnificent in a way that's very similar, I imagine, to seeing at least the Empire State building.
[00:01:29] Speaker B: I mean, looking, getting lost in Nick's eyes has to be better than the.
[00:01:33] Speaker A: Alamo because I think Alamo. I'm going to be, hey, spoilers on this. On this group, I'm going to be pretty negative about the Alamo.
[00:01:41] Speaker B: I'm just saying, for the record, looking into knicks, no one's ever died looking at Nick's eyes. Have they gotten lost? Yes. Did we think a couple people weren't going to make it out? Yeah, actually, we were pretty, it's pretty touch and go there for a while, but they're fine.
[00:01:53] Speaker A: But you know what's hard about that, though, is that the song, then? The song never applies to me. The, ah, I'm just dying. Oh, it's his arms, not his eyes.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:03] Speaker A: Have I always thought it was his eyes?
[00:02:05] Speaker B: I'm learning this with you, right?
[00:02:06] Speaker A: I'm just dying in your arms tonight.
[00:02:09] Speaker C: It's arms. It's arms. It's arms.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: It's for sure. Arms. But maybe my brain immediately was like, that's eyes. You're saying it's gotta be eyes. Dude, it's got to be eyes. But here, folks, here we are in Group D, where already Group A, B and C have happened. Go listen to those. To figure out their champions. But here we have the three seed, the Alamo, going up against the 14 seed Mount Rushmore. Crazy horse. Just as a reminder, we get this list. We take it, we send it back to our bracketologists. They send it to us. And here we have, in the other matchup, we have the six seed Times square, going up against the eleven seed, the space needle. Cody, like I said, let's just. Let's just talk about. To be fair, we got maybe a little bit of hometown pride here. We are the. We are the Mount Rushmore boys.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: Well, yeah, we'll start the album. Do I have pride, or do I know the struggle of, like, the native people around Mount Rushmore more than most people? So I have anti pride. It's hard to tell sometimes. It's hard to tell.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: Yeah, we have. Yeah. And to be clear, we have Mount Rushmore and crazy horse here. So we're. We're going to. Because if you've ever been there, right next to each other. Yes, they are. They are.
[00:03:12] Speaker C: You.
[00:03:12] Speaker A: You do both at the same time because you can. It's very easy. Why do we have a monument to, like, our biggest l. Like, I.
[00:03:20] Speaker C: This.
[00:03:21] Speaker A: I remember as a child learning about that Alamo.
[00:03:24] Speaker B: Everything's bigger in Texas, even their l's. Remember it, dude. Got super into losing there, too.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. I just. They got the cowboys. They went in shit. It's like, literally, I remember learning about this, and I remember them being like, hey. Like, you know, you're going through american history and you're like, yeah. And there was this battle at the Alamo where we just got work, dude. We got. Given that work, man. Like, we thought we knew what we were doing. Apparently, the locals knew way better. They fuck, yeah, dude.
[00:03:54] Speaker B: We thought we could throw hands.
[00:03:56] Speaker A: And so anyway, so then we. Well, then we lost so bad that we used that loss to propel us to win in the future. And you're like, okay, that. That makes sense. That's common. So why do we still have the Alamo, though? Like, you already got the w off of it. You don't need to, like, go back. Like, if you get rid of it doesn't take away the w you got later. Like, rid of this dumb ass thing.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: If a football team lost by 100 points in game one of the season and then they went back and won the Super bowl that same season, I think we would never stop hearing about that hundred. .0 they'd be like, no, we got our ass waxed so hard. Have you ever gotten your ass kicked so bad at something that you have to leave it up as a memory? Like, every time you see it? Like, no, never, never forget how fucking bad we were.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: They just like, it's like, the Kansas City Chiefs have to get. They're like, we're getting a new stadium.
[00:04:48] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:04:48] Speaker A: Like, we will never play in that stadium again.
[00:04:50] Speaker B: My parents never hung up my grades. Like, that was never something they did. I usually did pretty good in school. They never, like, hung up my grades. But if I got an f and my dad put it on the fridge, that's what he would do.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: That's fair.
[00:05:02] Speaker B: He doesn't. We don't, we don't celebrate w's, all right?
[00:05:05] Speaker A: We shame w's are expected. It's this.
[00:05:08] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: Do you. Okay, here's my question. I've been to Mexico, but I haven't been there long enough. And I don't know enough about the culture, certainly.
Like, do you encourage people from your country to go see the Alamo and be like, look at where we got that big w. Oh, dude, all the mexican show where we kicked that ass show where they got that work at. Like, is there a. Like, if you're. If you're of, like, mexican descent, is there some pride going to the Alamo and being like, yeah, I get. I would have worked in here, too.
[00:05:34] Speaker B: I see, like, a spanish guy at the Alamo being like, oh, my ancestor was here and he shot your ancestor.
Everyone here sucked ass. You guys ain't got shit. Look at this building. Might as well be mine because when my people showed up, we fucking took it, dog. Yeah, we should have burnt this shit to the ground. Yeah, I just build a monument to mediocrity.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: Exactly.
[00:05:57] Speaker A: It feels insane to me that, like, we would allow to stand once again. I know the story. I know the part about that. It's used for us to, like, rally, but it's the dumbest rally call I've ever heard. And we kept it. We're like, no, no, you should. I mean, and it's. I mean, it's in San Antonio, so it's.
[00:06:16] Speaker C: It's.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: It's deep down there, but at least it's in a city, I'll give it that. So at least if I'm going to see the alamo, I wonder.
[00:06:23] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: I don't. I don't know anything about San Antonio. I've never been to San Antonio. I'm going to be honest, though, if I had to make a couple guesses, this might be one of the only fun things to do. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's why you didn't get rid of it. Cause you're like, well, I mean, I don't know. The kids like to go to it.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: I've heard. First of all, I've heard San Antonio is actually a wonderful, beautiful city. Never been. I actually heard great things from people who've been there. I'll wanna go.
[00:06:44] Speaker A: No, I'll fight San Antonio. I have no intentions of ever going. But you will have to drag me kicking and screaming to ever find my skinny ass in that fat ass fucking town called San Antonio. I believe it is.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: Almost.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: It's in top five, America.
[00:07:00] Speaker C: Okay?
[00:07:00] Speaker A: So you ain't never going to get my ass down there. But you can say you can. You can sit here and defend San Antonio all you want, Cody. Cause you don't want the smoke. I'll take the smoke. Because I guarantee you they smoke it better in Houston. Fuck you, San Antonio.
[00:07:14] Speaker B: Fuck you. I'm saying I'll take the smoke. You'd never catch me at the Alamo, though. Ain't happening, dog. Fuck that. I want to take an l. I ain't gonna. I don't even know how to take it. That's why I don't have a monument to loss, literally.
[00:07:26] Speaker A: Where, hey, where does crazy horse point to? Where is he pointing to? Oh, the field in which he waxed dad ass.
[00:07:33] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:07:33] Speaker A: Where he took Custer's team. He's like, it's right over there, guy. That's my favorite story about that. They're like, yeah, we. It is pointing right at dad ass. Like, yeah, hey, we killed them all right over there.
[00:07:44] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:07:44] Speaker A: They tried to come through with their guns and we had bows and arrows. We fucking merked him in that field. Right. Right about over there.
[00:07:51] Speaker B: You'll see that way. You'll see it.
[00:07:53] Speaker A: You'll get.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: I gotta lock in Mount Rushmore and crazy horse. Because no matter how you feel about Mark, Mount Rushmore, that.
[00:07:59] Speaker C: That.
[00:08:00] Speaker B: It was a w for those guys putting their faces up there, that's pretty fucking sick.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: Like, there's no getting over. Like, obviously, I don't think any of them got to see it. No. Maybe Rosie. Rosie dead by that point, probably.
[00:08:13] Speaker C: He got to.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: I don't think he got to see it, dude.
[00:08:15] Speaker A: I don't think so. I don't think anything.
[00:08:16] Speaker B: Can you imagine? Time machine coming back, George Washington shows up and his face is on a mountain that.
[00:08:22] Speaker A: See that's the one he wanted to see. He goes and sees the National Mall. He's like, why did you put a giant, like, stick? Doesn't make any sense about me. And they're like, well, show you the other one.
[00:08:31] Speaker B: What if.
[00:08:31] Speaker C: Nick.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: Oh, my God. What if they took the Washington. What if the Washington monument and the fucking Mount Rushmore are anatomically correct?
[00:08:41] Speaker C: That.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: That would be the size of his hog.
So if the Mount Rushmore was real and that's how big he was.
[00:08:47] Speaker C: Sure. Sure.
[00:08:48] Speaker B: It's had a whole body, that his hog would be the Washington monument.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: Okay. Because here's the thing, Cody. That's stupid. That's ridiculous. But in a world where George Washington comes back from time, gets to travel fast forward in time, and we show him the Nat. We show him the. The. We show him George Washington at Mount Rushmore, and then we show him the. The Washington monument. We're like, sir, what you have to understand is that's how big your dick would be if you were the same size as your Mount Rushmore. And I feel like they're in a single man alive. That would be like, oh, hell, yeah.
[00:09:20] Speaker B: Hell, yeah.
[00:09:21] Speaker A: It'd be that. It'd be that. Man, I'm fucking hanging, aren't I? Dude, I got that thing on me. This is sick. I love it.
[00:09:28] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: Like, you would immediately go to. You'd go for me, and this is the dumbest monument to be like, oh, fuck, yeah, dude. I wish you would. So pointy. But I get it. You got. You can't tell people it's a dick. I get it.
[00:09:38] Speaker C: I get it.
[00:09:38] Speaker B: I get it. Yeah, no, it's obelisk, wink. Yeah, that's your hog, bro.
[00:09:45] Speaker A: Dude, that would be it. That would be it. There's no world where you. If someone was like, I honestly, I don't even fuck any size. If you're like, we made a. We made a monument to your hog. As long as it's not actual size.
[00:09:58] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:09:58] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:09:58] Speaker B: We don't want that.
[00:09:59] Speaker A: I don't need actual size of my hog. But if you make a monument and be like, that's. That's about your hog.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Like, I'd be like.
[00:10:04] Speaker A: Like, if my wife was a sculptor and just made a sculpture, it doesn't look like a dick, but it, like, kind of. And she's like, this is about yours and what it. And how much I love it, I would be like, this is the greatest piece of artwork I've ever seen.
[00:10:16] Speaker B: This is what art is.
[00:10:17] Speaker A: This is art. This is art ever needed to be.
[00:10:20] Speaker B: Yeah, so I gotta lock him out. Rushmore.
[00:10:21] Speaker A: Yeah, we got it.
[00:10:22] Speaker B: And crazy ones.
[00:10:23] Speaker A: All right, well, now we do have another pointy dick shaped one here. We have the space needle going up against Time Square. Cody, have you been, have you seen either of these?
[00:10:34] Speaker B: I've been to Times Square, yeah.
[00:10:36] Speaker A: What was your opinion? What'd you think about?
[00:10:38] Speaker B: I did not enjoy it.
[00:10:40] Speaker A: It's a lot of wild, isn't it?
[00:10:42] Speaker B: A lot of stuff. There's a lot of street performers, people asking for money. It, it just, the energy is not good, guys. Not a good vibe.
[00:10:51] Speaker A: Well, and now, too, because of LeD boards and stuff, like before when they had to put promotions out there, it was just big billboards, right. And just a ton of big billboards. But the images don't change every second. They're not just a giant tv. Cause like, you go there at night and it feels like the daytime. Like, it is so bright from all of that that you're just like, yo, this is wild. I do like that. Times Square has that one statue of Mister Times Square. I don't remember what his name is.
[00:11:19] Speaker B: I have no idea what you're talking about.
A statue guy who like, just stood there.
[00:11:25] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, he's doing, he's doing his thing. I'm talking about the real statue that's in Times Square. I don't remember who it's of. Oh, it's of George M. Cohan. I don't know who you are. Why do we, why are we, man, we really did give fucking statues to anybody, didn't we, dude?
[00:11:41] Speaker B: We don't have.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: If I don't know you in history, then I'm like, you're useless.
[00:11:44] Speaker B: Why did you get a statue, though? I know Nick. I know Nick doesn't have a statue.
[00:11:48] Speaker A: But they also have the father Duffy one, which is like the big celtic cross. I like putting statues that were there when it was old and being like, well, we're not going to. Well, we can't update the statue. That would be rude. So we're just going to make it seem incredibly absurd now, in context.
[00:12:05] Speaker B: Exactly. It gets so out of place that you couldn't possibly imagine it anywhere else.
[00:12:10] Speaker A: That you're almost like, is this new? Did they put this here recently? Because it seems so wild that it would be here that we wouldn't have just taken it out when we were building all this mecca to capitalism, because.
[00:12:20] Speaker C: That'S what it is.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: I would say this is, this is what the Times Square represents. It is our mecca to capitalism. And just like in the american spirit, right you've got people on the streets just trying to make a buck, doing anything they can to live their dreams. You've got buskers of people trying to sing their songs to you to hopefully get noticed by the big record agent.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: You got Louis Vuitton ads on all the tvs for stuff no one can afford but the rich.
[00:12:46] Speaker A: I mean, don't get me wrong. There is a part of me who's like, if. If I ever were to do something that I guess could be advertised on Times Square, I think that would be a. That would be a wild moment.
[00:12:56] Speaker B: Yeah, of course, you see when that happens, if you see yourself in Times Square on an ad board, that's amazing. That's a life defining moment. I understand.
[00:13:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:04] Speaker A: But outside of that, it's just sad there, guys. It's a little sad. It's also, I think you would think Eminem's have, like, a way bigger hold on the american psyche. And I would say the same about Eminem's advertising compared to, like, point dude, where it stands in the candy pantheon.
[00:13:24] Speaker B: Right?
[00:13:25] Speaker A: Like, snickers in. In. Then, like, snickers should have its own skyscraper that looks like a Snickers bar. If they went as hard as Eminem's does in a way that, like, if everyone were to disappear tomorrow, right, and people came back to it, they would see all. They'd be like, damn, these people loved.
[00:13:40] Speaker B: M and Ms. And then, like, it's right in the center of the Vegas strip. More M and M's.
[00:13:46] Speaker A: Like, this is literally when people don't. Like, when people don't understand, like, how history and archaeology works. It's because of shit like this where, like, they're like, so this society must have subsisted on mostly M and M's, right? It's clearly a major part of their architecture and some of their biggest cities.
[00:14:02] Speaker B: Everybody loves these nuts.
[00:14:04] Speaker A: People fucking love these little Eminem guys. Like, these must have been the pinnacles of culture. We're like, I don't even think they got a Super bowl commercial this year, dog. Like, wild.
[00:14:13] Speaker C: That. That.
[00:14:13] Speaker A: Like, that's how we will be remembered, though. Times Square is how we will be remembered by what we showed on those screens as what was the most important.
[00:14:21] Speaker B: I don't know if this is true, obviously, but the thing about Times Square that I'm thinking of is that New York City was there, and eventually people just kept gathering in the spot, and they're like, let's put a bunch of fucking ads here. And that's how Times Square was born. Yeah, but the space needle. Someone looked up and said, I'm gonna get up there. I want to get up there and look around at the world's fair. And they built it.
[00:14:41] Speaker C: They built.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: They were the world's fair, and then the people came. Wasn't the other way around? Okay. Right?
[00:14:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:14:46] Speaker B: They created a national monument. I don't even know if I'd say times square is a monument. It just exists.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: It just.
[00:14:52] Speaker B: It's a pit of fucking capitalist sin.
[00:14:55] Speaker A: Yeah, but isn't that what the most Amer. Like, it also is american in that way that, like, it sucks to be there, but you're just captivated. Like, you go there and, like, there's, everything's, like, nothing's really great there.
[00:15:06] Speaker B: Like, you know what? Actually?
[00:15:08] Speaker A: There's no great restaurants. It's all chains. There's no good.
[00:15:11] Speaker B: Like, this might be very sad, that thing I'm about to say, and I don't know if it's funny, but the only way we can make Times Square a more of a monument to american culture is if there was a memorial for a mass shooting that happened there. That's it. That's all it's lacking. It just needs more gun violence.
[00:15:29] Speaker A: We just, like, got it totally locked.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: In the human condition of the United.
[00:15:33] Speaker A: States that all within just a few blocks, we're like, that's the whole.
[00:15:36] Speaker B: That's it. That's all of it.
[00:15:38] Speaker A: In a sad way. Like, if you're like, how, what, what defines America? Do I think the space needle defines America? Eh, we got involved in the space race. We were the first ones to the moon. I think there's some pretty cool things there. I like that. But if you wanted to be like, show me America. I would be like, yeah, just go to Times Square. You're like, this isn't, this isn't even a good place to visit in New York.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: You're right.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: It's not. But that's not the point of America. No, no, man. This is about being blasted in the face with advertising all the time, constant, just. Just this panic of, like, don't have.
[00:16:13] Speaker B: Enough, not having healthcare, and worrying at any point, anytime you're in a large group, that somebody has a gun. That's what the american spirit is. That's why I have to lock in the space needle, because that's a monument to something else. And you know what? That's what we should be celebrating.
[00:16:28] Speaker A: Anything else but anything but a man. I'm sorry. I think I got to go Times Square here. I feel like it's not that I like it and I hate going there. Hey, I will avoid it any other time I go to New York. But I was like, yeah, this is it. This be it. So we'll sell this the only way we know how with the american voting coin of 2004, is brought to you by random.org. George Bush facing up, which means John Kerry on the other side, low seed, gets a pick. That's going to be you, Cody.
[00:16:59] Speaker B: I gotta go with John Kerry. I think George Bush would love the lights and sounds of Times Square so much.
[00:17:04] Speaker C: He be. Oh, God.
[00:17:05] Speaker B: I can get a hot dog.
[00:17:06] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[00:17:07] Speaker C: Hot dogs. I love a hot dog.
[00:17:09] Speaker A: All right, we'll flip. John Kerry.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: Space needle versus Mount Rushmore. Let's go.
[00:17:15] Speaker A: All right, so I. I like. I like the space needle.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: I like.
[00:17:22] Speaker A: Here's the thing. I think what I just enjoy, and I just. It bums me out that there's just things that we quit doing in America is like, give your city something fucking weird.
[00:17:33] Speaker B: Yeah, dude.
[00:17:34] Speaker A: Like, and it does not, I think, so much. We want to tie it into the city. Like, we want it to feel like this is historic to who we are. This speaks about us. Space needles.
[00:17:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:45] Speaker B: We weren't.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: We never have NASA. Not in Seattle. We've never launched any rockets from Seattle. Seattle, mostly good fishing. But we were like, space, though. We're trying to get to space. Why don't we.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: What?
[00:17:59] Speaker A: Let's put this giant pointy object here, Nick.
[00:18:03] Speaker B: What if we can make this Minneapolis. This thing, the big ball yarn. Did not take.
[00:18:07] Speaker C: I'm sorry.
[00:18:07] Speaker A: We didn't know. We did big ball.
[00:18:08] Speaker B: You tried it.
[00:18:09] Speaker C: Did not.
[00:18:09] Speaker A: We tried.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: We tried.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: Museum. That hasn't. That has nothing.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: What if we. What if we create a place specifically where farting is not only encouraged, we amplify it? So I'm talking, like those big bronze tubes you see at the park where if you whisper into it, it comes out really loud at the other end.
[00:18:27] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:18:28] Speaker B: Fart blasters line up like we have a whole building dedicated to the cacophonous sounds of the fart.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Your brain really does work sometimes in, like, the simplest ways. But they're elegant, you know? Like, I'm not saying this isn't me to say, like, you're dumb, that you just can only think about poop jokes. But this is beautiful in its own way, that I'm like, if we had the fart museum fart.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: That's what I'm saying. You have clips on tvs of times people farted in, like, important farts.
[00:18:57] Speaker A: Most famous farts. Yeah, most famous farts. In history, best farts and cinema. I mean, you got the exhibitions right themselves. Let's start right there. I'm also thinking just from, like, okay, museums are tough to get kids interested in, right. It's a lot of, like, yes, there's.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: Things to look at, but if you.
[00:19:15] Speaker A: Really want to take a museum, read, learn, understand that there's culture here, but that's hard to do when you're a kid. But if you wanted to be, get your kid into museums. So later on, they become a cultured adult.
[00:19:26] Speaker C: Mm hmm.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: Art museum, museum. Kind of the best place to start.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: Japan has a poop museum. You tell me we can have a poop museum, and I can't do a fart museum. Minneapolis, get on this. You guys need to get on the map. All right.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: We could be the fart capitol.
I know it's not great. It's not great, but let's be clear. It's not something that we're all pumped about. And, like, when people are like, hey, where's the big fart museum? Cause it does look like two butt cheeks. And anytime the door opens, it does, like, kind of fart a little bit.
[00:19:54] Speaker B: Like, yeah, if you. Man, if you rip a big old blaster into the fart. The fartulator is what we call it.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:20:04] Speaker B: And then it comes out the top of the building, amplified a thousand times. Are you kidding me?
[00:20:09] Speaker A: Your fart echoes through the city.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:12] Speaker A: Imagine the power you would feel.
[00:20:22] Speaker C: I.
[00:20:22] Speaker A: Will say, coming from. Coming from a place that has a thing. I really. Now, granted, it is South Dakota, so we were never going to have much. But at least, no matter what, when I. At least say I'm from South Dakota, which usually gets like, oh, wow, and you made it. You got out the ability to say, like, oh, yeah, I'm by Mount Rushmore. Like, to have that geographic marker.
[00:20:45] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:46] Speaker A: Especially when you're from, like, okay. Because if you said. Because here's the thing. If you said you were from Nebraska, there's nothing.
[00:20:51] Speaker C: There's nothing.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: Any city in Nebraska. I do not know geographically where it is. I don't. I'm like, Omaha. I think I've heard of that. Do I know where is Omaha?
[00:21:00] Speaker C: No.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: Do I know anything about Omaha? Besides, I'd be like, heard good steak there. You guys have good Omaha steak. Steaks that you're saying you don't have shit, right? If you're from Nebraska, you don't have shape. From North Dakota, you don't got shit. At least South Dakota, we don't have anything. But we got Mount Rushmore and the fact that we got to live near it. Near enough. I mean, it's, like, 30 minutes away. 30 miles away. That's close enough in this. In South Dakota that you're next to it.
[00:21:28] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. We got less than an. If it's less than an hour away, it's.
[00:21:31] Speaker A: You're next to it.
[00:21:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:21:33] Speaker A: So it's like, at least we had Mount Rushmore. And, like, I will always, no matter what, it gives me, like, the stupidest amount of pride that, like, that's ours, and you. You can't take it.
We could take the space needle. I do want to pitch expendable six.
[00:21:50] Speaker C: Okay. We throw the space needle into space. So.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: So the space needle.
[00:21:54] Speaker B: I'm still on the fart museum. Nick, what if you had a hall of famous figures? Right?
[00:21:59] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: And you could fart on.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: Honestly, I was going the other way. It was a hall of famous figures, and we got them to record their farts.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: It would be. It would be a hot one situation where at first, it's not going to be a lot of great celebrities. It's going to be a lot of stand up comics and, like, and retired rappers. But eventually, we'll get Gwyneth Paltrow to fart, and we'll have that.
[00:22:22] Speaker C: And you can just press a button.
[00:22:23] Speaker A: And be like, oh, that's how Gwyneth Paltrow farts. Like, you just be like, oh, that's good to know. Maybe it feels. It'd be, like, humanizing, right? Because you would want to think like, oh, maybe like, oh, here's a Beyonce fart. You'd want to believe that it has, like, a tune to it almost, that it's like, somehow her farts better than your fart. But when you click that button and it's just.
[00:22:40] Speaker C: That's it.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: What if you're just like, oh, I fart the same as Beyonce?
[00:22:45] Speaker B: What if you go to fart and it's just that Texas hold em song, though? That's what comes out of Beyonce.
[00:22:51] Speaker A: Well, then you'd be like, oh, shit.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: That was a fart.
[00:22:55] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You would just. I think if. Then what if we learned that better, that the. That the celebrities have better farts than us?
[00:23:02] Speaker B: That's something we need to know. Maybe then that could change everything. If celebrities have better farts than us, that means they were chosen by God, right?
[00:23:09] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's like, how did we know? Oh, well, you had to. You had to hear their fart.
[00:23:13] Speaker B: You had to go to the fart museum. How in St. Paul.
[00:23:16] Speaker C: Hey.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: Hey, Cody.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:23:18] Speaker A: Is it all. Is the whole thing stinky?
[00:23:21] Speaker B: No, it smells great.
[00:23:23] Speaker A: Okay, where.
[00:23:24] Speaker C: But there's.
[00:23:24] Speaker A: Where is there, like, just one stinky room? Cause, like, you have to honor. This is about flatulence.
[00:23:30] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, no, there's. There's a space for it where we. We dive in.
[00:23:33] Speaker C: You.
[00:23:33] Speaker B: You'll have strong fart smells that you can smell. And then we'll tell you scientifically why it smells that way. So then when you're out and you're like, you smell one of your own farts. Like, oh, I must add a lot of greens.
[00:23:42] Speaker C: I must be.
[00:23:43] Speaker A: I must be doing would be scientific.
[00:23:45] Speaker C: God damn it.
[00:23:45] Speaker A: I hate this. I hate your dumb idea.
[00:23:47] Speaker C: Cause it's.
[00:23:48] Speaker A: It's intriguing enough that I would go, like. And that's the point, is, like, I would go to the fart museum. Like, I wanna be better than the fart museum, but, like, go to the fucking fart museum.
[00:23:59] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:23:59] Speaker B: I'm not. Dude, we learn a lot about ourselves every day.
[00:24:02] Speaker A: Just looks like two butts.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: I love it.
[00:24:04] Speaker A: She's got two big old cheeks. When it comes to the space, like Mount Rushmore, we understand why it exists, right? It's to honor these four white dudes and crazy horses, to honor a great chief, right? So space needle is literally just what we wanted.
[00:24:19] Speaker B: Something cool for the world's fair, but.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: In the same way the Eiffel Tower has the exact same story. I actually think the arches is the same story, too, where it's just like, no, no, no. This has nothing to do with the culture of our town. This has nothing to do with who we identify as or anything about us. It is just cool, big thing that we can build right now.
[00:24:40] Speaker B: I think that's the monument to the human spirit that I like. That separates nationalism from it. It separates country and pride. What can we build that's big to make this space in time important and big needle and that.
[00:24:55] Speaker A: And just say, like.
[00:24:56] Speaker C: And. And.
[00:24:57] Speaker A: Because also the space needle looks like it's from the 1960s. You're like, oh, yeah, that's exactly the. Like. I wish. It's just not fair that we're not doing this anymore. Just making dope monuments, massive buildings, just insane buildings for the sake of, like, I don't know. We just wanted to flex on them.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm. Why haven't we. Okay, why haven't we turned the arch upside down and made the world's tallest half pipe? Why haven't we done this?
[00:25:21] Speaker A: Tony Hawk just fucking ripping on it. Kills himself trying to do it.
[00:25:26] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Expendable six.
[00:25:27] Speaker C: Nick.
[00:25:28] Speaker A: So let me.
[00:25:29] Speaker B: Let me explain. They're about to get away. Paul McCart know the Olsen twins at this point, the Olson twins have the president, and they're taking him. And they're there in a helicopter. They're leaving. They're flying away from the arch. Yeah, right. Right in the middle. And Tony Hawk's on the expendables now, of course.
[00:25:47] Speaker C: Yeah. It's about time. It's about his time.
[00:25:49] Speaker B: He's like, I can get up there. I have this rocket power skateboard. I just need a ramp. And Sylvester Stallone's like, and then Jason Tasem's like, awesome. Great idea. Stone loan. We will flip the arch around. So then they go to the arch, and they flip it, and Tony Hawk is on the top of it. So he has a radical kick flip and land on the top. New top.
[00:26:08] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:26:09] Speaker B: Then he turns on his rocket skateboard, rides the arch upside down, shoots up right into the helicopter, and he goes through the helicopter like it's a ring. The helicopter explodes. Tony Hawk put a bomb through a grenade in there. It's fine. He comes out the other end with the president.
[00:26:24] Speaker A: It's right there. It's right there, Hollywood. It's right there. Just call us. We're ready to go.
[00:26:29] Speaker C: We're ready to do.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: It's not hard.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: It's not hard.
I think I'm going Mount Rushmore.
[00:26:35] Speaker C: Speaker one.
[00:26:35] Speaker B: I understand that I have a lot of moral issues about Rushmore because I just watched a documentary that I'm too dumb to truly understand, but just smart enough to get pissed off by.
[00:26:44] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: So I feel like I don't know where I live in that space yet.
[00:26:47] Speaker A: That's fair.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: I think I have to also go with Mount Rushmore and Crazy horse. It is inspirational to see just the level of creation on both these things, the sheer scale of what's being attempted and what has been done.
Crazy.
[00:27:03] Speaker A: Can we say something? They look like the faces. Like, it would be one thing if it was. It would still be impressive if they made four faces that you're close, but you didn't make it all the way, you know? But these are like.
[00:27:18] Speaker C: That's.
[00:27:18] Speaker A: Yeah, that's exactly every photo I've ever seen. Or, like, any. Any painting you did, that's the ways. And they did it with dynamite and jackhammers.
[00:27:27] Speaker C: Right?
[00:27:27] Speaker A: Like, this wasn't some really nice, like, sanding and, like, really working on it with a little ting, like a little tin hammer or anything? No, no, no. Jackhammers.
[00:27:38] Speaker B: Jackhammers and dynamite. Let's go.
[00:27:41] Speaker A: I'm like, that's pretty metal, so. All right, we will move Mount Rushmore crazy horse on into the final four. That is it for us, folks. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of friendly competition going about your boys. A few things that you can do. As always, share with a friend, tell a friend. Wherever you're listening to this, make sure you hit that. Like that. Follow that. Subscribe and give us those fives stars, please.
[00:28:04] Speaker B: Absolutely false on all of our social media crowns. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, just look up friendly compod. If you have an idea for a whole 16 team tournament, you'd like to see us do best plot for expendables eight. Because we've already done five and six. Email us to spread the coverage
[email protected]. And I know what you're thinking. Don't worry. The Olsen tins do survive the helicopter.
[00:28:24] Speaker A: Explosion, and they are going to become good guys again.
[00:28:26] Speaker B: Oh, they'll come back. Oh, they get back.
[00:28:29] Speaker A: So, uh, as always, shout outs to Charizard for that intro music. You want to hear more of their stuff? Number two, band camp. Type in Charizard and replace the vowels with sixes. That's going to be it for us, folks. We got that final four Friday coming at you. But until then, I've been Nick Carey.
[00:28:44] Speaker B: And I'm Cody Lina.
[00:28:46] Speaker C: See you on the boat.
