[00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to Friendly Competition, a podcast to discover the best of all time. I'm Nick Carey, alongside my coast and best friend, Cody Lena, discuss various pop culture topics and narrow down to truly the best of all time.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Or as we like to call it, the boat. Before I get step foot on the boat, we put into a Sweet 16 style tournament. We argue each round. Do we decide a winner? Nick, what criteria do we use when we decide to step split on the boat?
[00:00:38] Speaker A: Whatever the hell we want. Cody, you want something? We're talking about this season?
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Absolutely.
We are taking a trip down through time and movie space deep into the action film genre. We're going to figure out who is the Last Action Hero. Right that way. No, that's a movie. We're not doing that. Who's the best action hero?
[00:00:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, they already solved it. In that case, it would be Schwarzenegger because he was the last action hero.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: But then John Wick came out after that. Does he have to reprise that role every time a new action movie comes year?
[00:01:07] Speaker A: Now you got me thinking about what year Last Action Hero is set in. Because I'm like, they already solved this problem by being set in the future. So there's no action hero who could.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: Ever take place in 1993.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: Oh, then probably not.
Then I'm going to guess probably not. I just remember Last Action Hero being like, that's the first movie where I was like, oh my gosh. Are they making fun of movies? It's very meta about it. And you're just like, you figured it out as a kid. You're like, oh my gosh. Is anyone else noticing this genius? He's saying the lines from his old movies.
Wow. You can't do that, man. This is wild, you guys. The movies are crazy.
[00:01:47] Speaker B: I remember the first time I noticed a movie had context and subplot, and I was like, I must be a genius. No one's ever noticed any of this before in their entire life. I'm like a nine year old over there sipping fucking Cognac with glasses on. Like I'm what you would call an intellectual. I will say, Cody, you're watching the fucking Veggie Tales movie.
[00:02:05] Speaker A: Calm down. Hey, man, it's not even subtext. It's pretty text, man. It's Jesus.
It's about JC, man.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: Yeah, they fucking love that guy.
[00:02:16] Speaker A: Why is this cucumber on a cross? That's not where you put cucumbers at all. Why would you do that? Yes, folks, that's what we're here talking about. Mostly cucumbers on crosses. Actually, this whole thing, all of that was a lead up to say this is the bracket about veggie tails. We're doing it best. Veggie tails.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: Carrot. You guys have been clamoring for it. We got them all here. We got the cucumber. We got tomatoes, one pickle. I don't know what happened to that. That seems like some sort of horrible crime.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Seems like a punishment that it sounds like he did something wrong. I going to tell you guys right now.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: Oh, God. If Jesus was a cucumber and he dies and he comes back after three days, do you think they had him come back as a pickle?
[00:02:59] Speaker A: I've been to the briny depths of hell.
[00:03:02] Speaker B: I've seen into your sins, boys, and.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: It has tickled me.
Yeah, maybe, man, dog, I don't know enough about veg shells. We're here to talk about action heroes, folks. Shout out to all of the motorboaters who gave suggestions for this and shout out to Jeremy for the suggestion. And then all you motorboaters giving us ideas, we appreciate it. We took some of those. We took some else from other lists and we put them into our sweet 16 style tournament, sent it to the brachatologist. They gave it to us in this random order. So here we go, folks, in group A with the one seed, Indiana Jones going up against 16 seed Inspector Lee from the Rush Hour series. And then we have the eight seed, the bride from Kill Bill going up against the nine seed, Cameron Poe from Con Air. Cody, where do you want to start? Not I want to start who had better hair?
[00:03:57] Speaker B: That's what I wanted to talk about, dude. The bride. And Cameron Poe has got the most majestic mullet in the history of mullets.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: Is it a mullet? Because it just looks like really wonderful long hair.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Just illustrious long. He's got the most wild hairline I've ever seen. Like someone who's supposed to be a sex symbol. If my hairline was doing that, I would shave it off.
[00:04:24] Speaker A: How dare you?
[00:04:24] Speaker B: He doubled down.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: He went full when he comes off that plane and he whips that hair back and forth, there is nothing that says you could show me a million bald eagles flying with air guitars doing Jimi Hendrix, doing the Jimi Hendrix solo, and I still would be like, nah, man. Nothing says freedom like a man who narrowly crashes a plane, gets out, lets his hair loose. That man is free. Free in a way I'll never be. Never, ever be.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: He's that free. And he's also in jail.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: Yeah. When the sun hits on air, dude. God, it is wild that he had a receding hairline and was like, no, we're going to go full long hair. I really want to believe, too, because this is the only movie I can really think of, too, especially because he releases very iconic movies in this spread. This is the same the year before. You have The Rock, the year afterwards you're going to have Face Off. I don't remember him having long hair in any of those. So does he like a is it extensions? Which if so, love that for a character. He's like, this man has long hair, like, yeah, but you don't Nick Cage this man does.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: That's also wild that if these are extensions or a wig or something that they still chose to have that hairline, right? That they kept his natural hairline in.
[00:05:45] Speaker A: Because that's why you think it looks like a mullet, because his hairline is so deep and it's like he's got like a widow's kind of a widow's peak going, dude, he's got a widow's.
[00:05:53] Speaker B: Everest up on there. It is insanity. It's like if you climb that widow's peak, that's like summiting G two. Yeah, dude, it's out of control.
[00:06:02] Speaker A: And yet here we are but looking when the sun hits his face.
[00:06:07] Speaker B: Are you serious right now? Are you kidding me?
[00:06:10] Speaker A: You've never felt that in your life? You've never once experienced now, granted, also, I have not had to be put on a plane filled with convicts and I'm just trying to get home because they finally figured out I was wrongly convicted, right? Sure. Or my crime wasn't that bad. I can't remember which one it is, to be fair.
[00:06:27] Speaker B: Folks decided it was fine.
[00:06:28] Speaker A: As a reminder, we haven't said this in a minute, but we come into this with the knowledge that we have. So we will be talking about these movies in a way in which we might get some of these details wrong. Whoever wins this, we will do our research. We're very excited about doing said research because your boy will be watching some of these movies. Also, for the first time.
[00:06:49] Speaker B: We got to get to this question. All right? Yeah. The bride would whoop that ass, the world's most famous assassin. She studied for years under a kung fu master at the top of a mountain that's just as tall as his widow's peak. Right. She's been in there. She's trained in she doesn't even use guns. She doesn't care. She's evolved beyond guns.
[00:07:10] Speaker A: I want to ask, does she get to use the mean that's that doesn't help or it doesn't hurt. When you get see, now is the question, is it the sword that makes the assassin or the assassin that makes the sword? Cody no, it's the assassin. It's the assassin.
[00:07:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:27] Speaker A: Every time.
This isn't one of those, like it's like, well, I mean, yeah, if I had giant gun, I could also mow down a bunch of enemies. It's like, no, you still have to kill people with the sword. Very close.
[00:07:39] Speaker B: Dude, I do love that stuff, too. When you're having action movies that take place in modern times, but people are still like, fuck it, use swords. Swords are so much cooler. I love that directorial choice that they make.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: And you're like, there's no way that they would I love that because in the Kill Bill franchise, there's like a level of respect, too, that sometimes you're like, why don't you just shoot them with a gun? Why don't you just do that? And that's to say, people definitely shoot at her, too. It's not like that. It's not like she's not going to get shot at during this film.
[00:08:07] Speaker B: But in the series, the only person that is even close to defeating her is the one guy who's like, I'm a shooter. I don't give a fuck what you guys are doing.
[00:08:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know what Disrespect thing is about. She's literally killing all of us so easily, by the way. All she's done is kill everyone.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: Maybe if she rolls up on me.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: If she comes to my house, I'm shooting her. Because the only other answer is my own death. And probably gruesomely. Do you remember what we did to her?
[00:08:36] Speaker B: You guys?
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Do you remember what we did? It was her wedding day. Remember that? And we killed her. Or we thought we did. Could you imagine the fear in your soul of like, you killed someone in the worst way, right? I mean, they left her for dead. Beat her up. Left her for dead. Not left. They buried her under the assumption she was dead.
[00:08:57] Speaker B: Killed her husband and her baby.
[00:08:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And now she's back. Nah.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Nah, dog.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: I am on the other end of the world at that point. I am now a ghost.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: That's the best part. People went to the other end of the world. That's true. Shows up and she fucking shows up. I love that. Also, I want to see Kill Bill Three our 2.5, where it's just her on the internet, like on Facebook and Instagram be like, Where are these bitches hiding? Where are they hiding? Because I'm going to find them. Cross referencing pictures. And basically she's the first Google Maps player. Have you seen people play Google Maps?
[00:09:32] Speaker A: The first one take one little image and they can just be like, oh, well, that grass is clearly from Scotland. That's the only place you're going to find that style of that thickness and density and color.
Well, then if you look at where the sun would be in the sky, you'd have to assume it's. And you're like, I'm sorry, what?
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Yeah. And she's doing that just to find people to stab.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: I would love yeah. Just the idea of someone being on how easy it's like, how'd you find me, dog?
You still are posting locations on Facebook. What? We aren't checking into spots anymore. We haven't done that since, like eleven. Since 2011. And you're still doing this shit. You're dumb. Yeah, and now you're dead. Now I have to kill you. Okay, I want to act like there's some kind of competition here because I really want to see movie is not as good.
[00:10:20] Speaker B: Well, you just watch Con Air.
[00:10:22] Speaker A: I understand that.
[00:10:22] Speaker B: If you want to get super blazed, we can watch Con Air. I'll share my screen with you, and we can just watch Conair together.
[00:10:30] Speaker A: And we might record that maybe, and just do a watch along.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: That sounds great.
[00:10:34] Speaker A: And you guys can just press play. And what it's like to watch Cody and I or listen to what it's like when Cody and I are pretty blazed out watching dumb movies. Together.
It's a lot of quiet and then really good joke. One really solid joke, and then a lot of quiet, usually.
[00:10:51] Speaker B: But this is not even a contest, dude.
[00:10:52] Speaker A: No kiddo.
[00:10:53] Speaker B: Are you kidding me? She got two movies. They didn't make conair two. Oh, God. Did they make Con Air Two?
[00:11:00] Speaker A: If they did, it's one of those where none of the original cast is involved. Besides, like, maybe John Malkovich. Like one of those you're like, Wait, you came back.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: No, they didn't.
[00:11:08] Speaker A: Okay, it counts if we got one of them.
[00:11:11] Speaker B: A con air. Two in development, according to Nicolas Cage. Dude, first how he's out of jail? We got to send him back into jail to get on that plane.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: You're the only man who's ever before.
[00:11:23] Speaker B: You can get me once. You can trick me into thinking, like, all this stuff would happen and needed to be on a plane, I'll give it to you. But after this, there's got to be some sort of security on planes. Now they know what's possible, especially if.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: You'Re transporting maybe some of the same characters again. You'd be like, hey, man, remember the last time? That was pretty crazy. Maybe we should I'm not a superstitious guy, but call me stitious. Maybe we just get a little security on this situation. Yeah, I should have said this earlier. The one important thing about all these people that were selected is that they for otherwise are mere mortals put into a crazy situation. Now, granted, in Kill Bill, she is a trained assassin, but she worked hard for that, and we're not going to take that away from her.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: No, she is out there doing the time, doing the crunches, I don't know how long, uma, thurman can plank. I assume it's a long time.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: Yeah. And Nick Cage put in all that work to grow that hair out, though.
[00:12:16] Speaker B: Just the follicle. Massage it, dude. I want a piece of look. Just looks beautiful.
[00:12:20] Speaker A: There's no world where even if we're like, oh, what if you put Cameron Poe? Put Cameron Poe and kill Bill. He ain't I don't even know if he gets past Vivica Fox. The mom.
[00:12:31] Speaker B: Oh, no way in hell.
[00:12:32] Speaker A: I don't think he goes to knock on that door and be like, hey, you killed everyone I loved at my wedding. Now I'm going to kill you. Bye. No. Sorry, Doug. You were more of kind of like our bag. Really? Yeah. You were rerolled with the crew, but you were there kind of cleaning swords, sewing up her outfits. You ain't like that even in the movie. Cameron Poe is more of a situation where you are a man put into an incredible situation, and what would you know? How do you save it all? Also landed a plane, though. Is that like cody, you're on a plane. Not the con airplane. Just a normal yeah. Pilot goes down, both pilots go down.
[00:13:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: This isn't like a hostage situation. It's just both pilots.
[00:13:17] Speaker B: I could land the plane and everyone says, oh, men always think they can land the plane. In my defense, I was in junior Rotzi for a long time solely so I could play with the flight simulators. That's all I did.
Hundreds of hours logged into flight simulator.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:13:33] Speaker B: Why? I don't know. I don't know.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: For these moments, for this moment. Because that's the thing for me is I feel like they're like, hey, has anyone here flown a plane? And then no one raises their hand and now we're all even more scared. Then it's like, does anyone even want to try to fly the plane? And I still Cody's like, dog, I'm in, let's do it. Because I don't think I could. I just don't want to carry that weight of you got. I feel like I'd have to give like a big Mia culpa before like, hey, just so we're clear, just cause I'm about to take the sticks does not mean we're going to live. Folks. Continue to pray, make peace.
[00:14:10] Speaker B: If you stood up and started giving that speech, I would push you down into your seat. I got this. This guy does not have the coward. He's a coward. He doesn't have the courage. He's an intestinal fortitude to land this plane. I'm going to land this plane in one piece or 1000, but it's touching the ground.
[00:14:24] Speaker A: We're going then at least I'm glad then that I could inspire someone to take over and get the confidence. Because maybe that's my job is to make someone be like, I'm more confident than that guy is. This guy's making a bunch of excuses. It sounds like he's going to crash us in intentionally now, man. I think I can at least try this. I played a video game before.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: Yeah. We got to lock in the bride.
[00:14:43] Speaker A: How different could this be from know just joystick the end of the day?
[00:14:47] Speaker B: More or less, yeah.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: All right.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: I'm lucky. To the bride. I'm sure we have to we don't.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: Have a I'm sorry. Sorry. Cameron Poe. All right, next up we have Indiana Jones going up against Inspector Lee. This is Jackie Chan's character from the Rush Hour series.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: The sheer amount of swagger that Indiana Jones has has got to be something. It's got to be valuable to something.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: Here's my thing. Here's what's tough for me about Indiana Jones. No matter, like he's a professor, he's like he's a fucking how.
[00:15:20] Speaker B: I know.
[00:15:21] Speaker A: It's one of those things where it's just like, hey, man, I just got put in this situation. I was just an archaeology professor, but someone told me there might be this cool item, so I'm going to go see if I can find it.
[00:15:32] Speaker B: But like can you imagine, though? He's in high school, right? His name's Indiana, which is weird. He's a nerd. He's really into history and stuff.
[00:15:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:39] Speaker B: And a new kid shows up to school who's a bully and he's like, Indiana Jones, Indy, I'm going to go bully him. And the other boys grab like, doe dog. He'll whoop that ass. Do not fuck with Indiana Jones, man.
[00:15:50] Speaker A: So do you think this is an example of that? He's a professor, but he definitely also runs the taekwondo club for the campus.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: The dude's got hands.
[00:16:00] Speaker A: I think he's one of those he can fight.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: It's like that one. At our school, we had the school nurse, Mr. Phoenix, who is also, like, an Olympic quality wrestler.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: That's fair. That is very true. Where it's just like, oh, man, I don't know. Maybe that's what it was. Actually, that makes a ton more sense that maybe he was a d one athlete. Right. And he's like, I just need a major that I can kind of get through. What do you guys recommend you can do? History. We know most of the teachers are going to end up becoming a high school you're going to become a high school football coach anyway, Indy, so don't worry about it. You're going to be teaching history one way or another, because that's the one we give to the sports to the sports coaches.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: But then he found out that he's got a passion for it, and also he gets to go into caves and fight everything but snakes. Dude hate snakes. Jackie Chan has got the moves, though. Inspector Lee versus Indiana Jones in a fight. No weapons. Inspector Lee 100% right.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: I think what's crazy about Inspector Lee and this is mostly, I mean, more about just like, Jackie Chan in general, because I know there are some of you who may be like, this is not the Jackie Chan movie you pick. This isn't it. You got drunken master. You have so many better ones. But for most of American audiences, this is where you kind of discovered Jackie Chan or really solidified your love for him. Homeboy was, like, deep into his 40s when he did this. That's the part that blows my mind, is like, when you watch, you're like, oh, Jackie Chan. He seems pretty spry. No, this was his retirement plan. He had already done crazier things, and now he's like, yeah, man, I'll just do some easy stunts here. Retire on this. Make this cash in America right quick, dude.
[00:17:34] Speaker B: It's insanity the amount of stuff he does, his own stunts and all his own fighting. So we can't take that into account. Spectre lee Indiana Jones. I am leaning Inspector Lee because I think, first of all, he'd whoop Indiana Jones's ass. I think Carter Chris Tucker's character from the movie would also whoop Indiana Jones's ass.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: You think so?
You wouldn't give Indy in a two. Not maybe two on one. That's not fair.
[00:17:57] Speaker B: How often does he fight, though? Like, that one sword guy pops out, gets shoots it, bam, done. Indy's good at running. He's excellent at parkour.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: Is that what it's I mean, when it comes to being an action hero, how much are you putting on their fight skills? Versus I'm not saying that Inspector Lee isn't a smart, intelligent person, but, like, Indiana Jones, clearly a puzzles guy, loves a good puzzle. Probably frustrating to play in a trap.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:24] Speaker A: He just looks around. He's like clues right there. I'm going to take that. I'm going to put that that's probably a magnet over there. It seems weird. And then that's going to drop down and yeah, we'll be out of here in five minutes.
[00:18:36] Speaker B: I got shit to do today, actually. I would love that. I think that's the best.
[00:18:43] Speaker A: I just like to see the artistry in these rooms. I'm not here to really I'm not trying to do an escape room. I just want to see it done. Just like seeing all the fun things, all the little fun little Easter eggs you put in here for me. Guys, thank you so much.
[00:18:54] Speaker B: This is hard, man. This is really hard.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: I mean, here's the thing that's tough for me. Indiana Jones saves the world. Did save the world a little bit, whereas I don't remember. Obviously, Rush Hour One is strictly about finding the little girl and probably stopping some drug flow into America. Maybe.
[00:19:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: Who cares mostly about the little girl.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: So what you're telling me is the first they save a little girl, great. But then they increase the price of my drugs.
[00:19:21] Speaker A: Yeah, your drug prices went up easily.
[00:19:24] Speaker B: After they you know indiana Jones isn't wasting his time with making our drug prices go up. That affects, you know, he's on that.
[00:19:34] Speaker A: Yeah, probably, actually, because for sure Harrison Ford is oh, yeah.
So that dude loves smoking weed and probably flying his plane, and he does them both at the same time as like, man, I don't know. I keep crashing these damn planes. That's crazy. Harrison Ford has been in more plane accidents than I think, like almost anyone else, and he's nah, man, you can't get me. You can't get the kid.
You can't stop me.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: I'm untouchable. I'm unstoppable. I think I gotta lock in Jones because at the end of the day, inspector Lee is just a cop doing cop stuff.
[00:20:04] Speaker A: Not even just the best cop.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: He didn't save the world. He never saves the world.
[00:20:09] Speaker A: I mean, am I going to even know who you are when all this is said and done? It's just a cop doing cop stuff. Like, outside of me figuring out my drug price went up, no one's going to tell me that it was Inspector Lee. I'm not going to know who to go to to handle this situation. But I promise.
Do the Nazis know? Like, would they know of the person? Because there's always some Nazi who didn't make it to the big Nazi party, right? There's always someone didn't make it, couldn't get a flight over when they opened up the big Ark of the Covenant. So do you think that person's like, yo, what happened? Indiana Jones? And like, that name now strikes fear into your heart.
[00:20:44] Speaker B: In the heart of all Nazis, they all fear Indiana Jones.
I'm knocking Indiana Jones. We should also make that our battle cry when we hit punch Nazis. Doing this for Indy.
[00:20:55] Speaker A: This one's for Indiana Jones.
This knuckle sandwich. Hey, knock on their door. DoorDash? I didn't order a DoorDash. Oh, well, it looks like Indiana Jones ordered you this knuckle sandwich. Bang, bam.
That's what you get, Nazi. And they're like, what? I'm not a Nazi, okay? Indiana told me. And then you look, he ordered it.
[00:21:19] Speaker B: Is this 817?
[00:21:23] Speaker A: Wow. I am so sorry. Oh, gosh, that sucks. I don't know. I would let you punch me back, but that isn't z. I don't want to.
[00:21:32] Speaker B: That doesn't make it fair.
[00:21:33] Speaker A: Yeah, it's not going to make you feel better. At the end of the day. Revenge is not something you should chase at the end of the day, unless you're the bride. I'm going to move Indiana Jones on as well. So we have Indiana Jones versus the bride. Now, one, you're trying to save the world, right? You're just a normal dude who people like, hey, you seem to be a smart guy. Do you know anything about this item? And then you go and get to go do great quests.
[00:21:57] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:21:57] Speaker A: Completely changing what everyone believes an archaeologist actually does. Mostly it's just keeping up records in a museum room.
[00:22:04] Speaker B: But then the bride is out here, first of all, trained assassin. That's cool.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: Yeah, that's not not cool.
[00:22:11] Speaker B: That gives hope to all kids out there who want to grow up to have a cool career in assassination.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Better career. I think we can go that career when we line it up. Bride won on career. Career is a paid assassin career. That's awesome. Professor for architecture.
[00:22:26] Speaker B: How do you get that? Where do you intern for that?
Do you get picked? Do they come to you as a child and just kind of take you?
[00:22:34] Speaker A: That's the only thing that makes sense to me is it's kind of like the NFL and the NBA, right? Like, we can see kids at, like, 13. We're watching AAU basketball games with 13 year old kids, and we're like, that guy's going to be the next LeBron James, right? We've had so many of those. And you're like, what? They're only 13. How would you know? But, yeah, maybe they're like watching the Olympics and there's always a shooting competition. Why wouldn't you if you were a secret society of assassins, why wouldn't you go find the best fencer? And as you take as the best fencer, you don't have a great career lined up afterward. Let's not lie and act like there's a great professional circuit for fencers, okay? There just isn't. So someone comes around and be like, hey, do you want to do this? But do you actually want to fucking stab people? Because I have to imagine, too, if you're doing fencing, you kind of want to do it for real, don't you?
[00:23:22] Speaker B: You got to do it for real.
What Olympic event would you scout if you had to find the next great assassin? What are you looking do you need someone who's good at the shooting stuff and teach them how to be the other stuff? Or do you go for a gymnast and teach them how to use a sword? First of all, sword play is very important.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, that's tough, right? Because gun, you're like, okay, I know I got a great shot, but how well are you going to be at the other stuff? Right? What does that say about your charisma, your charm? Gymnastics, I think, is a good place to go, but I think it's risky.
[00:23:53] Speaker B: I think I'm going to decathletes. I want all around athletic people, and if you can do every event in the decathlon, I could teach you how to use a sword. Not me, but I can send you to the mountain with the master that lives on it, and he'll either kill you or you'll come back better. I don't care. That's his business.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I just feel like my problem with that, with going decathlete over, like, a fencer or one of the people who shoots a gun, probably, honestly, the biathlon, which is where you ski. You have to do long distance cross country ski and then shoot, because now I know you got cardio and you got aim, which is important. But I think the problem if you go with a decathlete or a gymnast or something like that, is I don't know if they got the heart of the game. I don't know how much they want to do this. You can't tell me that it ain't going to be that hard to pivot brainwash someone who's already good at shooting stuff and be like, just imagine it's a target. Don't worry that it's a person. Don't stop it. They're bad people.
[00:24:49] Speaker B: Assuming that they're equal parts all in. I think the decathlete is where I.
[00:24:53] Speaker A: Want to get it. I know, but are their hearts going to beat it the whole time? They might think it's cool to begin with.
[00:25:00] Speaker B: Well, neither was the brides. She wanted out.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: Oh, that's true.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: That's the whole impetus of the movie. I mean, I'm lucky to the bride. Indy can't even hang. She couldn't tie Beatrix kiddo's shoes. Are you kidding?
[00:25:13] Speaker A: Is and I don't know how much it matters that we put ourselves in their shoes. I don't know how much that's important. I feel like if I had to be an action hero, though, I kind of want the indie role. I want to be out here mostly solving mysteries. Yeah, I got to get in a little scuffle every now and again, but, like, trained assassin great. I mean, I love that part. Once again, can't say enough how much I would love. To be a trained assassin, but having to they tried to kill me. I don't like that.
I got to come back from basic death, all right? Twice. Twice. And then now I'm out here. All I'm out here for is killing people and putting myself in such risky situations.
[00:25:51] Speaker B: By the way, here's what you got to I'm thinking of it this way, though, right? They keep making Indiana Jones movies and no one's asked, right? They just keep making these shitty things. But the kill bill, there's two of them and they're both great.
[00:26:02] Speaker A: Done.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: I'm going with the bride, baby. I gotta lock that shit. Said we can settle this wonder.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: I don't want to be dumb, though, about it. I do feel like probably at the end of the day, I'm probably more interested in the bride when it comes from just straight up action.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Let's switch it.
[00:26:20] Speaker A: If we're talking about the quality of the movie that they're in, but then also what is their role in it?
[00:26:29] Speaker B: I got something for you. Let's switch it. Indiana Jones, you just take the bride out of the Crazy 88 fight, right? Right before it starts. She's got a sword. She's counting the men. You drop Indy in there and you take Indy out.
[00:26:42] Speaker A: I'm just saying, please let him have one gun. I know it's not going to last him for that long.
[00:26:46] Speaker B: No gun. No gun.
[00:26:47] Speaker A: I worry about my boy.
[00:26:49] Speaker B: He gets the sword just like she had. But I'm saying, if you put them into each other's movies, two days max, it's going to take for Beatrix to solve whatever Indiana's whole month was. Problem solved. Everybody's dead. Don't you worry.
[00:27:01] Speaker A: She might. That's the thing.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: Indy is going to get his ass kicked by the Crazy 88. He's not even going to get to.
[00:27:10] Speaker A: I'm not saying that you have to be this in it to be a great action hero. She doesn't do a lot of reconnaissance, spy work, asking questions. She's pretty, like, I'm going to fucking kill everyone. And that's kind of one note is all I'm saying. At least Indy brings in a few, brings in a little flavor. Now, once again, French fries are amazing. And that's one note, it's fried potato and those are great.
[00:27:34] Speaker B: I'm just saying I'm locking in. The bride should get shit done.
I don't think Indiana Jones could fuck with Lucy Lou. Lucy Lou would have cut his head.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: I'll go. I'll go with you. I'm going to move the bride. I feel like I'm trying to give respect to Indiana Jones. I don't even know if he know. I'm like, I don't know why I'm riding so hard for homeboy. I think he's probably fine once he's still a dork, just a big old nerd.
[00:27:57] Speaker B: Slap the books out of his head. Dude, I would love to watch Indiana Jones in high school kids try to bully him. One time he just hands. Just catch hands. What do you think?
[00:28:05] Speaker A: His sport was. Do you think he was like in an assumed world where he is a d one athlete?
[00:28:11] Speaker B: Baseball. It's baseball.
[00:28:12] Speaker A: It's baseball, man. It's always baseball.
[00:28:16] Speaker B: He's great at baseball, but like, whatever. Yeah, I can stand in a field, too, guys. Baseball players out there, no one's impressed.
[00:28:25] Speaker A: The thing that's impressive is the throwing and the pitching. It's like, well, yeah, obviously you should catch it. Come on now. What's the whole point?
[00:28:32] Speaker B: Apparently hitting a baseball thrown by professional pitcher is like the hardest thing in sports.
[00:28:35] Speaker A: But sure. Well, that's why I'm impressed by it when it happens. That's why I'm impressed by it. But catching a ball? Come on. I've been doing that forever.
[00:28:42] Speaker B: You haven't been doing it. Well, me and Nick played catch on a beach once and it was embarrassing for Nick.
[00:28:50] Speaker A: Yeah, it's one of those. Yeah, I've always been the guy when it's like someone brings out the frisbee or brings out the nerf and it's like, let's just have a little throw around. I'm like, why?
What's that for? Where are the girlfriends sitting at? I'm going to just go sit with them.
[00:29:03] Speaker B: That's fun.
It's got to be.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: Move the bride on into that final four wheel. Do our research and see here. I really want to get into, like especially kill. I might go kill Bill, too. Just I want to know, is there more to life? What is the plan? What does she go on to do? Who has she become after she meets her vengeance? Once she reach that quota of vengeance.
[00:29:27] Speaker B: Becomes what she's always wanted to be?
[00:29:29] Speaker A: No.
[00:29:29] Speaker B: Have you seen Kill Bill Two?
[00:29:30] Speaker A: I have, but it's been a minute, so it's be worth going back. It's been almost 20 years. That movie's been out for a minute. All right, folks, thank you so much for listening to episode of friendly competition. If you want, about your boys, a few things that you can do, as always, share with a friend, tell a friend. River listening to this. Make sure you hit that like that. Follow that subscribe.
[00:29:45] Speaker B: Absolutely. Follow us on all of our social media, instagram, Twitter, Facebook. Just look up friendly at friendlycompod. If you have an idea like our great old motorbutters did, email us to us at friendlycomputation
[email protected]. Or just follow us on Facebook's where Nick's been doing most of the heavy.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: And I mean, shout out to all the motorboaters who did help create this season. Shout out once again to Jeremy for the suggestion and shout out to Charizard for that intro outro music. You want to hear more of their stuff and over to bandcamp. Type in Charizard and replace the vowels with sixes. That is going to be it for us, folks. We got a new episode coming out on Wednesday, but until then, I've been Nick Carey.
[00:30:23] Speaker B: I'm Cody Lena. See you on the boat.
