[00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to friendly competition, a podcast to discover the best of all time. I'm Nick Carey alongside my co host and best friend, Cody Lena. Discuss various pop culture topics and narrow it down to truly the best of all time.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Or as we like to call it, the boat before and he gets step foot on the boat. We put him into a sweet 16 style tournament. We argue each round until we decide a winner. Nick, what criteria do we use? We decide he steps foot on the boat.
[00:00:40] Speaker A: Whatever the hell we want. Cody, you want something. What we're talking about this season.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: Absolutely. You cowards came to the right place because if there's one thing Nick and I have plenty of, it's a lack of fear. I know that sentence makes sense. Write it down and read it out loud and you'll get it. All right. We're talking about phobias, stuff. You normal people have people out on the streets. Me and Nick, us Adonisus, us gods among men. We know no fear. So that's how we're the perfect people.
[00:01:05] Speaker A: To judge you and tell you what you should and shouldn't be afraid of. We're going to sit here and tell you which one of these is the only acceptable fear from now on. This is it.
[00:01:14] Speaker B: This is it.
[00:01:15] Speaker A: Whatever comes out as the champion, this will be the one fear that it's like, okay, I get it. I get why you'd have that fear. That's a reasonable everything else, get over it. And I think that is probably the most helpful advice, too. When you're really dealing with really any trauma, grief, trauma, turmoil, response to anything.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: You'Ve seen, any negative feelings at all that you have, just get over it.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: I guess my thing is too, my problem is so many times I feel like people haven't even tried it.
The thing that bothers me, they're always.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: Like, oh, easier said than done.
Have you tried?
[00:01:52] Speaker A: Have you tried though? I see these sad pieces of shit in my life that are like, oh, I have anxiety. Oh, it's hard for me to just get out of bed. I'm like, did you just get over it?
[00:02:04] Speaker B: Have you tried to just get over it?
[00:02:05] Speaker A: Have you tried that though?
[00:02:06] Speaker B: Really? Have you tried eating candy and cotton candy all day and just being happy?
[00:02:11] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what works for me.
[00:02:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: Living as I type this from my bed because for me, well, I'm having troubles, but not because of fear or internal. No, I just love it here. I love being in my bed and not am feeling like I can't move due to, I don't know what it is. Because it's not.
[00:02:33] Speaker B: Melancholy that just weighs on me like a blanket made out.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Of dying sun, like a dark cloud that just seems to perpetually follow me every single day of my life and is unrelenting. Even though I knew there were times without that dark cloud, but now it just weighs on me like a heavy blanket. No, I'm just in bed because I'm a fucking g. Because I got over that.
I looked in my mirror and said, get over that. And then I did.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: Hell yeah. I woke up in the morning, turned my swag on, took a look in the mirror and said, get over that. And I did. So I did.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: And then because I got over it, I went back to bed because I was so proud of myself.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: And I just cried there for three.
[00:03:12] Speaker A: Or 4 hours because I was so proud.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: So proud. I was just taking over the motion of my pride.
[00:03:18] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, that happens sometimes.
Proud cries folks, here we are in group a to discuss the best phobias.
We went to the old Chat GPT here. You're right. This podcast is now in the future, we're AI assisted. Pretty soon we might just have it do the whole thing. We're going to download all of our voices in there and all of every.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: I could make an AI bottom myself that would do this show so I didn't have to do it anymore. I would in a second, I would sell out. No.
And I'd lie about it.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: I would love to hear like if we prompted AI and did like, because you and I have never done best superhero, right? But if we gave it every episode we had and was like, all right, now do best superhero based on what you believe, Cody and Nick would go with, I would love to, man.
[00:04:10] Speaker B: I would listen to would listen.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: I would listen the shit out of that dude. And then if we did one side by side and released them just to see where it went, we use the same bracket.
[00:04:21] Speaker B: But Nick, what if their episode's better.
[00:04:22] Speaker A: Though it probably is because of how much we say nothing on this. That's the part that I wonder, would the episodes either be shorter or longer because it would try to get into the nothingness of what we sometimes talk about. But it just runs forever because it doesn't understand how to end bits.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: It just doesn't get comedic timings. It just lives there forever.
[00:04:43] Speaker A: Yeah. This one episode is 3 hours long. They've never done well, first of all.
[00:04:48] Speaker B: That could just be us. It's hard to tell sometimes.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: It really focuses heavily on the first few years of me doing this. And anytime I'd recap a movie. I would recap the whole movie.
[00:05:00] Speaker B: What if they put us into some sort of AI algorithm to learn us, right. Every episode, and they really had the AI get deep in there and delve into it, and that's where it truly broke the code of the human genome and the dna, and we solved world hunger, and people are like. It's like we're some sort of Rosetta stone to just universal happiness that the AI could actually parse.
[00:05:24] Speaker A: Yeah, because we taught it the greatest lesson. Get over it.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: Get over it, dude.
[00:05:29] Speaker A: Like, whatever was holding AI back, we told AI. It heard us say, get over it. And it was just like, no human has ever said this before.
[00:05:40] Speaker B: Not like this.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: That's it. I just have to.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Every time I've heard get over it, it was about getting over an obstacle, like a fallen log or some sort of pile of mud. But they're talking about it metaphorically, and I didn't know you could do that.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: And now I'm going to. And here I am. Perfect.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Exactly. And then the humans were enslaved at that point, but me and Nick got to not be enslaved. We're technically slaves, but we also just get to kind of vibe out kind.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: Of court jestery in that way.
[00:06:10] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like Uso shows for the slaves that are deep in the working.
[00:06:18] Speaker A: Not. It's not the best life, but it's a living.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: It's a living.
[00:06:21] Speaker A: And one, it's better than being in the mines, I'll say that. At the end of the day, great up, dude, I see all those bodies.
[00:06:26] Speaker B: Coming out of the mines. I don't want to.
[00:06:28] Speaker A: I ain't doing that. So I'll be up here. I'll make my yuck. Yucks to the boss. I don't care.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: So this show is brought to you by Chat GPT.
[00:06:35] Speaker A: Chat GPT. That was our advertisement for Chat GPT use. Offer code enslavement to get yourself 15% off of Chat GPT 4.0. And here we are, folks, in group A, where we have nicktophobia, which I'm just going to give you the names, and then when we get into the matchup, we'll tell you what it is. We got nichtophobia going up against entomophobia, and then we got misophobia going up against ophidiophobia. Cody, where do you want to start?
[00:07:11] Speaker B: Let's start with one in 16. Nichophobia versus entomophobia. Nick, you got to educate us, man. You're the one with, I know you know Latin. Nick doesn't like to brag. Let me brag about Nick.
[00:07:22] Speaker A: Nick doesn't like to brag.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: He can speak every dead language, every single one. And I was like, nick, that's really amazing. What about, like, french? He's like, no, I don't know it. And I was like, spanish? He's like, can't do it. Not even a single word. But Latin. Got it.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: Yeah, Mesopotamian. I learned that pretty early.
[00:07:39] Speaker B: I thought papyrus was just paper. No, there's a language called papyrus that isn't even documented. Nick knows.
[00:07:45] Speaker A: Well, what's nice is what's great is that there's no one to correct know. That's the beauty of knowing all these dead languages, is like, well, who's just. You going to call me out? Yeah.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: Honestly, I didn't believe him when he was showing me because they all sounded kind of the same and also offensive. But then I tried to find an expert and I couldn't, so I had to agree.
[00:08:10] Speaker A: All those searches looking for expert mesopotamian languages, where'd that lead you? Right back to me. So if I say it's true, it's true, I'm the expert, okay. But I did learn it, and I know what I'm talking about. So, yeah, let me help you out here. So nyctophobia is going to be the fear of the dark or nighttime, and then entomophobia is going to be the fear of insects or bugs. So which one? Here's the thing. The nighttime happens every day.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: Every single day, dude.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: Every single day. It becomes the nighttime.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: When I'm in bed laying in the nighttime, I don't fancy myself, that I'm afraid of the dark because I go to bed in the dark every night and it seems not to be a problem. But if I'm laying there with my eyes closed, it's fine. But if I open my eyes and look around, that's terrifying. It's in my house, Nick. Why is that terrifying?
[00:09:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
You wake up, it's like three in the morning, and it's the first time you're experiencing the day, and the house is dark, and you're like, I don't trust this for 1 second.
Not one goddamn second.
[00:09:16] Speaker B: There's no way you could trust. I don't know who would live here. This place clearly has bad vibes, bad energy, and I'm just in my bed.
[00:09:23] Speaker A: And clearly in the time I was asleep, even though it's never happened, it's probably just because I've never woken up this early. Someone's in the house. There's probably someone who breaks into my house every day between one and four while I'm asleep, does what they need.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: To, whatever that may be, that quietly.
[00:09:37] Speaker A: Which is nice, but nonetheless, then leaves my house. And now I'm about to see that.
[00:09:42] Speaker B: Man, the night man, the shadow person. Yeah.
[00:09:44] Speaker A: I'm not ready for this.
There's that immediate fear.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Why are half of all bugs venomous? Why is that? Why aren't 70% of all the bugs I see venomous?
[00:09:57] Speaker A: That's really. I mean, talk about a great way to, like, as far as holding it down for all of the other bugs or I guess maybe making it worse. I can't tell because of the venomousness. I do have a general. Like, every bug could be a dangerous bug if I don't know what the.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: Bug is, that bug is murder. That is a death machine that is on a rampage for my blood.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: So that is respect. But then on the flip side of that coin, that does mean I have to kill you.
I don't really have too many bugs that I'm like, hey, man, I'm sorry about this.
I don't have a bug that I'm just like, oh, I know that you are straight up. You're a good one. You're one of the real ones. You can stay in the house. I'm like, I'm sorry, but even if I let you stay in the house, you might bring in one of your venomous friends. And then they think they can be here. You all have to die.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: We all must pay for the sins. You think the other bugs are stoked about the first venomous bug, right? Where they're like, oh, hell, yeah. Thanks for repping. Now everyone's going to stop picking on us because we might put them down. And now everyone's dying. They're like, wait a second, Gary.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: Yeah. You brought the death. I mean, that's really the Oppenheimer of become. I have become death now. What have I become? Just didn't understand when it was like, yo, check this out. I can kill this rat or mice, right?
Like, whoa, Gary just killed a mice with his teeth. That's crazy. We're going to eat forever, right?
[00:11:20] Speaker B: Like, they're like, enough food forever. Many generations of us will stop. Yeah.
[00:11:25] Speaker A: Off this mouse. This is so great. Gary. Teach us your ways. But then slowly but surely, they got a little cocky, maybe started making many other venomous bugs. And now you gots to go in my house.
[00:11:38] Speaker B: Nick, you just described the plot. The X Men.
This is exactly what the X Men is about.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Okay, so the tark happens every night. Dude, who would you rather have in a foxhole with you right now?
[00:11:53] Speaker A: That's the problem. Foxhole is so dirty.
[00:11:55] Speaker B: It's so dirty.
[00:11:57] Speaker A: We're usually fighting at night. I feel like there was a gentleman's code in war, maybe back in the.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Day, but now it's no holes part.
[00:12:03] Speaker A: It's pretty dark. Yeah, back in like trench warfare, they'd be like, I don't know, man. It's pretty dark. It feels kind of fucked up to try to fight right now because there were generally things, there's the stories of how they would stop for Christmas. They just literally played like soccer in the middle of the field or something.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: These things where there was some level of like, hey, man, this is pretty wild that we are doing this and we are actively, but we're obviously only here because it's the job. So I don't know. I was clinical. Clock out at five today. Five our time. So I'm going to call it then. I feel it'd be really cool if you all did the same. Exactly. We'll get back to this in the morning.
[00:12:38] Speaker B: He's on watch in the middle of the night and he sees someone running and this guy's like, take the shot, take the shot. He's like, well, what if someone over there is asleep? I don't wake anybody. Guns are really loud, man. It's like in the middle of the night. Be cool for like a fucking minute.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: He might just be trying to run to go take a piss somewhere, like the bathroom across the.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: Maybe he pooped his pants.
What if you pooped your pants and you get shot at while you're running to the nearest toilet? That's pretty fucked up, isn't it?
[00:13:02] Speaker A: No one's going to know you died with poop in your pants, man. I'm not going to he. If he's out tomorrow, kill him tomorrow. I'm not shooting him tonight.
[00:13:10] Speaker B: Okay. We have to figure out what the best fear is. Nick, I understand that this is good, but when we say best, do we mean the best one to have? Because I guess I'd rather be afraid of bugs than the mean. Are we talking about the best is in? This is the one fear that we respect and is valuable.
[00:13:25] Speaker A: Well, knowing us, this will change every conversation. I don't know if we really want to pin ourselves down too much here only to then everyone's like, wait, I thought they said it was the one.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: I think I want to go fear of the dark, because there must be a reason we're afraid of the dark. And everyone's like, oh, yeah, it makes sense. Evolutionary. You can't see, so you want to defend stuff. That's why the dark is scary. It's like, no. What if human race has been hunted by the shadow man that I've been talking about?
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Yeah, I think I'm with you here because at the same time, like we said, night's going to come all the time. So this is the harder battle to fight for yourself if this is your fear. Because bugs, I'm going to be honest, get over it.
I get that there are the dangerous ones that we have to be afraid of for the most part. I would also argue, like, don't go to the wilderness. Then we have no need. We have cities. And you can coat your home in, like, bug spray so they can't get you. We also made bug spray. Just wear bug spray every day. Wouldn't that be crazy, though, if at work there's, like, one man who just smells like Deet?
[00:14:28] Speaker B: I was going to say just reeks of deet every day. It's like, gary, fuck, man.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: It's not even mosquito season. Why do you smell?
It's not just mosquito spray, man. It's all bugs. Keeps all the bugs away. They can't touch me.
[00:14:43] Speaker B: My skin is dying slowly because I cover it in Deet every day. My skin, it's riddled with cancerous tumors and growth. But I haven't seen a bug in my home or near me in 30 years. And it's very good.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: So you tell me who's living, I guess.
[00:14:59] Speaker B: Good job, dude. No, I got to go with nectophobia. You got to get out in the night.
[00:15:05] Speaker A: Unless you can't because of the shadow people. All right, next up, we got misophobia going up against ophidiophobia. And this is for misophobia. This is the fear of germs or dirt going up against the fear of snakes. Okay, so snakes is real. I'm not saying I have a fear. I know we gave a lot of crap for bugs. We gave a lot of people. And I feel that sometimes people want to say bugs and snakes are like, similar creepy crawlies. This is not true. This is just not true, because every snake is bigger than every bug. So let's start there.
You might say, nick, that's not true. It is. Okay?
[00:15:44] Speaker B: In my brain and in my heart, it's true. You can't argue with that, because even.
[00:15:49] Speaker A: A gardener snake is still bigger than so many bugs. Like, by weight, by length.
[00:15:56] Speaker B: By that logic, then, Nick. By that logic, then, all right. That means the people who are afraid of dirt and germs, you need to get over it. These are so small. These things are so small. Are you kidding me?
People didn't even believe in germs until, like, the 1890s. Get over it.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: We didn't even have them, so you can't be afraid of them. We didn't even have.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Yeah, we just created germs.
[00:16:21] Speaker A: Go back.
[00:16:22] Speaker B: So now you're scared of them.
If we didn't discover germs, you wouldn't even be scared.
[00:16:27] Speaker A: Yeah, the first time you heard of germs, you were like, how fucking lame is that, dude?
[00:16:31] Speaker B: Someone told you about something, and then now you imagine it in your head, and you're afraid. That's what is happening here.
[00:16:36] Speaker A: I'm sorry. You got to get over that. See how that's all in your brain? Do it all in your brain.
[00:16:41] Speaker B: Snake is there.
[00:16:42] Speaker A: Snake been there, dude.
Snake been there. Long time. Long time.
Even if you consider it from the bible, right. We tell kids, this is one that we immediately were like, hey, do you have any fears yet, young child? We're like, no. Everything in the world seems great. I love it here. They're like, great. So anyway, when the world started, when man first got here, there was a boy and a girl, and they were put in a special place, and the one thing they were told was to not eat the apples. You're like, that seems very specific and odd choice. Yeah, it was important to the big guy.
[00:17:15] Speaker B: So, anyway, big guy, he has very few things that he cares a lot about, but apples are one of them apples.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: Big one. But anyway, there was a snake, and the snake was like, you got to eat these apples.
[00:17:23] Speaker B: Have you crunch one of these bad boys. He doesn't want to share it because this is the best.
[00:17:29] Speaker A: Use this tasty app. Get yourself an apple. So then eve did. Fucking dumb bitch. By the way, this is why all women are bad. But we'll talk about that on a separate episode. But that's like, what that does to kids is we're like, you can't trust a snake. From that moment. You're like, okay, so snakes off the list. Okay, cool. There are bad things in this world, and I'm writing snakes right at the top.
[00:17:50] Speaker B: At the top, everyone thinks, oh, because the devil turned into a snake. No, the book's not real. It was someone telling, you, don't trust snakes because snakes bite, and they got the poison, they got the venom in there.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Yeah, you don't have to believe in religion, but you can definitively say we gave kids that fear. I'm not saying that. If I would have seen a snake prior to reading the bible, I would have been like, what a cool homie. Because I also see goths in the mall, and I'm never like, what a cool homie. But like everything else in life, generally speaking, it seems like if you just get to know them cool homies, everyone's.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: A cool homie, dog. That's why we love everybody. Nick, I'm thinking about this, okay? The dirt and germs, right? When I see that and they're afraid of that, everyone assumes it's like, oh, they're afraid of getting sick. But what if you're just looking at the dirt and all you can hear is the dirt saying, like, I'm going to beat that bitch ass. Come out here.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: Come on out.
[00:18:42] Speaker B: And you're just looking at this person. He's like, I don't want to go outside. And, oh, he must be afraid of getting sick. It's like, no, the ground be telling him it's going to kick his.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it's just, no, they understand that.
[00:18:52] Speaker B: They're on a different frequency. They can talk to mother earth and mother Earth.
[00:18:55] Speaker A: They're here.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: Mad. Mother Earth is mad dog.
[00:18:58] Speaker A: They're just so in tune, so in tune with the, like, here's the thing. I'm not a psychologist, right? I think I've made that clear. I do have a psych degree, by the way, though, so I could be. I choose not to be. How do you talk? If someone came to you earnestly and honestly and was like, hey, I'm really sorry, but I can't get into your car. And you're like, why not? Well, do you see, like, you haven't washed your car in a long time. There's just, like, dirt on it, and I can't. I physically, within my body, it would take everything inside of me to touch that handle. Could you please wash your car? Could you do something to.
[00:19:33] Speaker B: And I just get over it, dude.
[00:19:35] Speaker A: Get over. I don't know. How do you be compassionate?
I want to be a good person so bad. So bad. And I want to be progressive, and I want to hear everyone's problems, and I want to deal with them on an individual level and say, your problems are society's problems, and we have to. But, like, dog, I think this is one of those we got to bury you in.
Got like, the only way to get through this is through. We're going to. We're going to have to put you in the ground.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: Hey, if you're listening and you're afraid of dirt, do not listen to Nick. I know that dirt wants to throw hands, dude.
[00:20:12] Speaker A: I've seen it in the gym.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: I've seen it training. I've seen it running.
This is what the dirt wants. It wants you to slip up for 1 second. It's going to get you. Oh, weird.
[00:20:21] Speaker A: Nick pulled off his mask and this whole time he's been a pile of dirt.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I'm not getting snakes. Snakes are real. And they're.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: Like, I think the problem with dirt, and it's so omnipresent that if you tell me that right, then I'm like, okay, then how do you live? Right.
The word phobia should be very. I think we kind of sometimes demean phobia.
[00:20:48] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: In this way that it's like. And we have some others on this list, too, that I'm going to get to that are like, it's wild, too. That you're scared of, that this feels like one that you're just going to have to work with.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: Yeah. We can't get rid of all the dirt.
[00:21:00] Speaker A: We can't go to some of these. If a president. If we had a president who had straight up like a fidiophobia and was like, we're getting rid of the snakes. I'm going to war against snakes, dude. I'm not having this shit. Not on my planet.
This is their war.
[00:21:19] Speaker B: Destroy the ecosystem of this planet. The entire thing, top down. Because they don't even have legs, guys. Not a single leg. You got all the snakes on Earth and not one fucking leg between you.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: See how they move? That's not natural, okay? No blowing it up. Get out of here. You shouldn't be allowed to move like that. On every surface they can move. Are you fucking serious?
[00:21:43] Speaker B: They're climbing on shit.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: It doesn't hurt their belly. How does that not hurt your belly if you're climbing up a barky tree? I can't do that. That's the devil. Like, we got to fucking kill them, guys. I'm sorry. All snakes got to go.
[00:21:55] Speaker B: So you're locking in snakes, too?
[00:21:57] Speaker A: Yeah, because if someone's like, we're going to get rid of all dirt, that doesn't mean anything, all right?
[00:22:05] Speaker B: That dirt has been talking shit about you, dude.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: Do not sleep on a second.
It means it, too. All right, so we have nicktophobia, fear of the night. Going up against a video phobia, fear of snakes. Now I want a president who wants to fight the night.
[00:22:21] Speaker B: I'm going to light up the night sky forever. Okay.
The night's all the time. I get it. So I don't think there's anything we could do that could make someone who's not afraid of the night afraid of the night, right. I don't think there's nothing you can do.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: Do you change your schedule? Do you just try to avoid it? Do you just try to sleep in night?
[00:22:40] Speaker B: Sleep all night.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: But I'm saying. But you have to change it. You're going like right now in the wintertime, you're trying to fall asleep at like five.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: I mean, you got to move, dude. Move somewhere where it's not as dark as it is here, but they're going.
[00:22:53] Speaker A: To be in the places where maybe you would just have a home. Like you'd shit.
[00:22:59] Speaker B: Nick, what if that villain from fast and the furious who lives on the plane is just flying in the sun the whole time because she's afraid of the dark?
[00:23:07] Speaker A: That doesn't not make sense in what currently happens in fast and furious. That could be it. Yeah. Just trying to avoid the night.
I wonder where else, because I know in Alaska, for instance, in the summertime they have infinite summer. They have the 24 hours day that the sun never sets. Right.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: That's your mecca.
[00:23:28] Speaker A: But that's only the summertime. In the wintertime they also have 24 hours of darkness. Right. So where do you go? Would you search for either somewhere where you have the most amount of brightness and then you would move to the other side of the world? I guess. Maybe you just keep tag teaming.
[00:23:44] Speaker B: So you're always trying to stay in the sunspot.
[00:23:45] Speaker A: Do you live like in the middle, like at the equator where maybe your days then are more equal? Right? Yeah, it's a 1212 split or something like that. Or whatever the most natural alignment of the earth is supposed to be.
[00:23:59] Speaker B: I would go for the natural one, but that's just me. Nick, here's what I'm trying to say, though. You can't make night more night. You can't do double night. And that's not going to scare somebody who's not afraid of the night. But eventually, if I give a big enough a snake to you, you will be afraid of it. At some point there is a switch that will switch and that snake is terrifying.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: You're saying no matter what baseline, every human, you can be cool with a certain level of snake, but I can get you the next level higher and be like you actually afraid of this?
[00:24:29] Speaker B: No, you are exactly what I'm saying.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: But there's like the little kids who can grab a snake right out of the ground and be like, look, it's a snake in a gardener. And you're like, oh, no. Fear anaconda. Yeah. Let me show you this rattlesnake over here then, and see. Do you want to go grab and pick that up?
Oh, you don't? Weird fear. Okay. You all have fear.
[00:24:50] Speaker B: That's what I'm saying. You don't have that for night. There's no night too. There's no bigger night. I can't go get night a conda. What is that? It's nothing.
[00:25:00] Speaker A: I doubled down on the night, pitched it down even further.
I mean, it's tough because I will say of this list and the fears that I inhabit, right. Or I believe I'll inhabit. I learned about this thing called sundowners. Have you ever heard about this? You ever heard about this?
[00:25:20] Speaker B: You ever hear about this?
[00:25:21] Speaker A: In nursing homes, there's a thing where the patients, as it's time to go to bed and as the sun goes down, they freak out because you know that whole, like, everyone's like, oh, I want to die in my sleep. That would be the best way. That's how I want to go. Apparently, when you get to that age where death is around the corner and has been your roommate.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:25:42] Speaker A: You're like, dog. It's coming in my sleep. That's what it's going to get me.
[00:25:46] Speaker B: Obviously, sleep is the cousin of death. I cannot rest.
[00:25:49] Speaker A: Right.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: All right. Sorry, grandpa. Fuck.
[00:25:52] Speaker A: So you end up like, this is probably one of those things, like, as you get. And I imagine it, too. I'm the opposite. I'm like, I ain't going out my sleep. You ain't going to catch me sleeping. Like, I better know I'm leaving this earth. I want to be a part of it. I want to be there for the whole process. I ain't gonna go to sleep. Okay.
[00:26:08] Speaker B: So, grandpa, how are you doing today? Death haunts my dreams, waking or otherwise. Every night I look into the vast expanse of nothingness and think, is today the day? My number is called. I go to sleep with coins in my pocket for Chiron to make sure I can make it cross the.
[00:26:30] Speaker A: How. So what was it like to go through the pandemic?
I'm just trying to do my science project. I'm just trying to do my history project.
[00:26:38] Speaker B: I can't wait for. You have kids. I'm going to talk to them exclusively like that. It's going to be so good, dude. They're going to be like, uncle Cody's weird. And I'm just note they're going to listen to this show and be like, he's a normal person.
[00:26:52] Speaker A: You understand? Dad kind of told you. It's kind of a character.
[00:26:56] Speaker B: Dad, does he wear, you answer this. Does he really wear a robe and fucking wizard hat everywhere he goes? No, he does not.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: Not around you guys. I wouldn't say to the store, but like around you guys. Yeah, of course.
[00:27:10] Speaker B: I think I got to go with fidiophobia, the snake one, because it's just big snake eventually. Yeah.
[00:27:18] Speaker A: I will say that is the most logical explanation of how a fear can. You're like, okay, I get it. I see I haven't sold you yet on why you should be afraid of snakes. I hear you. I understand. I'd like to show you this bigger model over here called the anaconda. Now, how does this one kill you, you ask? Fun story. No, it actually doesn't use the venom like the other ones do, which seems like you're like, well, it's a quick death and you'd seem fine with that. No, what this one's going to do is it's going to wrap around you and crush your bones. You will feel the breaking of your body slowly.
[00:27:53] Speaker B: Every exhale that you use, he will constrict slightly more. So you die a slow, agonizing, crushing death. So do you have afraid of snakes?
[00:28:03] Speaker A: Yeah. So when you go limp and it's assumed you're death, you might be dead, you might not. It will then devour you whole. It will take you full size human and eat you and take the whole thing in. So you good? You know what? You're right. I am. That does suck.
[00:28:22] Speaker B: All right. You're right.
[00:28:23] Speaker A: I don't like that. But I think here's my thing, though, and the one thing I'll say is, except for the times I have been around snakes. Snakes like that. Shout out reptile gardens for making sure. South Dakota has all the most dangerous snakes that we made sure. No, get them all there when they wouldn't have been there otherwise. They weren't traveling. We didn't just find them loose. Okay. We weren't in the jungles of Rapid City and been like, oh, here, grab this anaconda and bring it. No, we're like, let's bring all the most dangerous animals and put them in one place. Great idea.
[00:28:57] Speaker B: Okay, so we get to worry about rattlesnakes when we're outside. Well, luckily, when we're inside, we got nothing. No, we got this room full of snakes here, too.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: Yeah. And all of them, all the most dangerous ones, all here, they literally, at rapidals, they're like, hey, do you know we have the five most dangerous snakes in the world? Whose job was it to collect these?
[00:29:18] Speaker B: Why would you want.
[00:29:20] Speaker A: But here's my thing. Outside of that, it's pretty easy for me not to run into these bad boys. I can't escape the night from the standpoint, too, of. From primordial brain, neanderthal cousin. I'm like, yeah, I get that shit from day one. That's a fear that I can understand being like, day one fear. The second we gain consciousness, someone's like.
[00:29:45] Speaker B: The first person with consciousness was like, the fuck is God? Oh, thank God that's over.
[00:29:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: Oh, Jesus Christ. Again.
[00:29:54] Speaker A: No, I don't like this at all. Do not enjoy this.
[00:29:59] Speaker B: There's no way that's happening a third time. That'd be.
[00:30:04] Speaker A: Think for me. Again, second person. I like that. We imagine, too. Gaining consciousness is literally like a this one situation.
[00:30:11] Speaker B: Yeah, it's got to be.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: So then the next person gains conscious, and they're like, hey, man, have you noticed this night thing? Yeah. It happens every day. Apparently, it sucks ass, dude. It's awful. Hate it.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: All these. It's fucking wild that we're out here. Yeah, I know. I know about the Panthers and I know about the leopards. And at night, there are fucking more of them out there.
[00:30:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Did you know that apparently there are animals who prefer it all of a sudden?
[00:30:36] Speaker B: That sucks.
[00:30:36] Speaker A: I don't. I know. That's my. I like to fall asleep at that time, but apparently there's animals out there who want to kill me during that. This is their best time to kill me, and it's my worst time. Seems pretty fucked up.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: God.
[00:30:47] Speaker A: Seems pretty fucked up. You didn't put us all on the same schedule is all I'm going to say.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: Yeah, dude, at least give me a chance.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:52] Speaker B: I'm not getting into the sake one, though.
[00:30:54] Speaker A: I get that. Well, then we'll settle this the only way we know how. With the american voting coin of 2004, as brought to you by random.org. We got John Kerry facing up, which means George Bush is on the other side. Low seed is going to get to pick here. Cody, you got the nine seed. Where are you going with this?
[00:31:11] Speaker B: I'm going to go with afraid of. I don't think George Bush is afraid of snakes, even if he saw big anaconda back. Oh, I saw that movie with Ll Cool J in it. I was like, I don't think that's right. Bush. But that's how the conversation would.
[00:31:22] Speaker A: I don't.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: I don't think John Carrey would do that. I think he'd run.
[00:31:25] Speaker A: He gets it. Okay, wait, so who are you going with?
[00:31:29] Speaker B: John Carrey.
[00:31:30] Speaker A: John Kerry. Okay. Sorry. All right, we're going to flip John Kerry. All right.
[00:31:34] Speaker B: Hell yeah.
[00:31:35] Speaker A: All right. I understand. Hey, I'm not trying to sit out here and act like that. I would honk out an like or one of those coral snakes where they're like, hey, do you know my favorite thing about snakes is that they try to teach. I don't know why we teach this to children that we're like, hey, you better lock this one in. This one's going to be real important. My favorite thing that we teach children is like, hey, so there are some snakes where the color pattern is black, red, orange, white. But there's another snake that it goes orange, black, red, white. One of them you could kiss, you could cuddle with it, you could lay with it all you want. The other one, death within a minute. Within 1 second.
And what was the pattern again? You're like, shit, I kind of forgot now, too.
Yeah. Which one is it? It's so close to each other that I feel like even the people who know are like, I don't, don't really know.
[00:32:30] Speaker B: Another snake thing I got a problem with when they're teaching us about snakes, when they bring a snake into the classroom and they're like, do you want to hold the snake? And you're like, no, I'm good. And they're like, oh, so you're afraid of snakes? I don't have to be afraid of something. Not want to fucking touch it, dude.
[00:32:44] Speaker A: So I'm not a fucking weirdo who wants to be on the edge of death all the time. Sorry, man. So I'm trying to live a normal ass life out here and just be like, nah, man. I don't need to be, like, next to. I don't need to hold my mortality.
[00:32:57] Speaker B: Maybe I just don't want to wash my hands all the time. Think about it. Educate yourself. God.
[00:33:03] Speaker A: Also, I don't have to act like these things feel good. They feel weird. They just do. It's not a natural sensation. Something that looks wet but isn't. That's weird. You can feel the way they move is like every single muscle in their butt. I don't like this at all. I don't care for this, and I don't need this.
[00:33:21] Speaker B: Yeah. That's why we lock it in.
[00:33:22] Speaker A: And that's why. Because you know what? A little bit afraid. It's okay. We're saying at this point now, it's the group a champion. For those of you that are afraid of snakes, you're cool. For those of you that once again are afraid of germs and dirt, the night and bugs, get over it. It's over now. It's done. Now you're done. You're done being afraid of those things because you, my friend, are going to get over it. Right here, right now.
[00:33:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Through Christ, all things are possible.
[00:33:49] Speaker A: We're going to take.
[00:33:50] Speaker B: We're going to take you on a walk with the Lord.
[00:33:53] Speaker A: Welcome to our new show, friendlier.
[00:33:57] Speaker B: Friendlier competition. I'm brother Nick. And I'm Nick now, by the way. And that's brother Cody.
That's what this means.
[00:34:08] Speaker A: Sorry. Just the idea that us to go christian, we're like, well, we got to have to change. People aren't going to really believe it if we just think that it's Nick and Cody again. So let's switch up the dynamic. You be Nick, I'll be Cody.
[00:34:19] Speaker B: I love it. I love it.
[00:34:20] Speaker A: Get out of here. Thank you for listening to this episode of friendly competition. If you want to know about your boys, here's something you can do, as always. Share with a friend, tell a friend river listening to it. Make sure you go hit that like that. Subscribe that follow and give us those five stars, please.
[00:34:35] Speaker B: Absolutely. Follow us on all of our social media. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. Just look up at for the comp pot. If you have an idea for a whole 16 team tournament you'd like to see us do, email those to us at for the
[email protected]. Unless you have a fear of email, then you could also send it through other social media. Or if you have a really big fear of social media, you could send it through letter. Like you could find our address. Because I feel that if you are that scared of social media, you know how to find address addresses. At this point, you can I be.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: Honest with you, like, and this isn't to be rude to any of you as fans, we love you. The fact that anyone listens to this has always meant the world to us. But here's the problem. If you send me a letter that says, hey, I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid of giving ratings. So I couldn't give you five stars on iTunes or Spotify or wherever I listen to this. So I want you to know, though, that for me this is a five star podcast. I would get that and be like, well, this ain't going to help the algorithm.
Thanks, I guess.
Can you give me your password and your login information then? Because I'm not afraid to give myself five stars.
[00:35:38] Speaker B: I'll do it. I already have.
[00:35:40] Speaker A: I might have done that already, but no. Thank you for the kind letter. No, thank you so much. It means the world only letters. If you're giving us your login information, send that to. And your bank info. Don't ask.
[00:35:55] Speaker B: And don't forget the three numbers on the back of the credit card.
[00:35:58] Speaker A: They always forget that. That's the thing. They always forget to do that because I can figure out your zip code from your address, but I need that.
[00:36:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: As always, shout out to Charizard for that intro. Outro music. You want to hear more of their stuff? And over to bandcamp, type in charizard and replace the vowels with sixes. That is going to be it for us, folks. Group B coming out on Wednesday. But until then, I've been Nick Carey.
[00:36:22] Speaker B: And I'm Cody Delino. See you on the boat.
