Group B Best Gift

[00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to friendly competition, a podcast to discover the best of all time. I'm Nick Carey alongside my coast and best friend, Cody Lena. Discuss various pop culture topics and narrow it down to truly the best of all time. [00:00:30] Speaker B: Or as we like to call it, the boat. Before he gets a foot on the boat, we put him into a sweet 16 style tournament. We argue each round till we decide a winner. Nick, what criteria do we use? We decide he steps foot on the boat. [00:00:40] Speaker A: Whatever the hell we want. Cody, you want something. We're talking about this season. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Absolutely. It's a hard time of year. Everyone's out here. You're trying to be the best that you can be for your friends and your family. You want to hook them up. You want to get them gifts, you want to take care of them, make sure they know how much you love them, but you don't know what to get. Well, we got you, dog. Step in. Come on. Come over here. [00:00:58] Speaker A: Hey, take that one off. [00:00:59] Speaker B: Or inside. Don't wear a hat inside. Come here. Yeah. [00:01:02] Speaker A: Why are we not allowed to wear hats inside? Do you know? [00:01:05] Speaker B: No. [00:01:05] Speaker A: Okay. [00:01:07] Speaker B: I think it's because God can only look through so much. So when you're outside, God can still see the top of your head through the hat. [00:01:12] Speaker A: And that's. [00:01:14] Speaker B: And he hates that. [00:01:15] Speaker A: He hates it. [00:01:16] Speaker B: But once he gets in a building, he sees you with a hat on, he can get through the roof, but he can't get through the hat. [00:01:22] Speaker A: I love that. There are weird rules about guy. There's no way he could see. There's no way he's going to be like, where'd he go? You enter in. [00:01:29] Speaker B: Now you're this omnipotent guy, can't see through my hat because I'm under a roof? [00:01:35] Speaker A: Yes. [00:01:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:36] Speaker A: It's like in sims. He's watching you top down, and it's like a glitch then where you enter the home. And then he's like, wait, where'd he go? Where's he at? I can't see him. But he knows all, sees all except. [00:01:49] Speaker B: What my head looks like when I'm wearing a hat inside. I like to imagine that respectful. Someone needs to teach me why that's disrespectful. [00:01:56] Speaker A: It was this one thing. Like, God's like, I invented the universe. I know all the rules about this shit. He's like, crush it puts people out there. People discover hats. And he's like, then someone walked into a building once. He's like, oh, shit. How did I not know? [00:02:11] Speaker B: Also, why does he need to see. [00:02:12] Speaker A: The top of my head, also, why do I have to take it off to honor my country? [00:02:19] Speaker B: What war was fought over a hat? [00:02:22] Speaker A: Right? And then the hatless won. And we're like, no, we'll let you keep them as a truce, but you better take that to shit off. Was that. You know, I'm not great at history. Was that what the civil war was all about? [00:02:34] Speaker B: Hats? No, I'd say that was very low on the list of things that the civil war was about. My dude. [00:02:39] Speaker A: I know, but they say a lot of people say it was mostly about states rights, and I don't know if. [00:02:42] Speaker B: Maybe that was one of, you know, what it was. Maybe it's a european thing, because they don't really teach us what the 100 year war was about. But I know I could see people fighting for over 100 years about hats. [00:02:52] Speaker A: Hats. [00:02:53] Speaker B: That's just dumb enough to get people really riled up one of those things. [00:02:56] Speaker A: That they had just invented. Hats. And there were some people who are all about this fashion choice and others who are like, this is an abomination to fashion. And God hates it, by the way. [00:03:05] Speaker B: Also. God hates it, by the way. I love that Catholics, like, get out of any religious groups. Get out of, like, well, explaining anything. God fucking hates that. [00:03:13] Speaker A: God hates it. He hates it so much. And so I'll kill you. And I'll fucking kill you to prove it. [00:03:18] Speaker B: That's what we're talking about. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Yeah, basically, hats are not on this list because they're too controversial. Got to tell you right now, you're not going to hear us. Don't get hats. It's too controversial. Also. What a wild swing on a gift for someone, right? Unless you knew they were a hat person. [00:03:32] Speaker B: What if. Oh, God. Yeah. And you don't know if they're a hat person or not. You get them like a fedora. You've just set them on a pack for the rest of their life. [00:03:39] Speaker A: I was thinking, like, you just got someone, like a cowboy hat. I don't know, man. It just feels like a good fit. And you're. Huh. We're not in Yellowstone. What the fuck? [00:03:49] Speaker B: I don't know, man. Now I have to wear this cowboy hat every time I'm around you just to prove. [00:03:53] Speaker A: Now all of a sudden. Yeah, I put it on, and I was like, well, maybe I'll see what's up with country music. Now all of a sudden, I'm racist? [00:04:00] Speaker B: How did this happen? That's what we're talking about. [00:04:03] Speaker A: That's what we're talking about, folks. And here we have group b. So that means group a already happened. Go. Listen to that. We take our list of 16, we give it to our brachatologists, they kick it out to us. We divide it into four groups, and then we have a final four at the end. Here we are in group B, like I said, where we have the four seed, getting them a game of some sort, like a board game, typically going up against the 13 seed, a book. And then we have the five seed cash money. Going up against the twelve seed, an excursion. Cody, where do you want to start? [00:04:34] Speaker B: Let's start with cash money excursion. This is dangerous place you're playing in. It's expensive. Also cash money. All right. If someone gives me $20, I don't want it. No, I want $20, but it's like a Christmas gift. Just like, don't do that. Spend $10, keep ten, and give me something. I am a firm believer that it's kind of the thought that counts. [00:04:56] Speaker A: Okay. [00:04:56] Speaker B: And there's no thought in money at all, except you thought about how much I'm worth to you, and it's visibly right there. If you give me a $10 gift, I'll be like, oh, look at that. You thought about me and got me something that maybe you think of me. Awesome. Maybe $20. It's, oh, I'm worth $20 to you? Like a cheap sex lady. [00:05:14] Speaker A: Hey, in some parts of the country and parts of the world, that's a very expensive sex lady. Okay. How dare you? First off, and it all depends on what you're trying to get. Anyway, we don't need to talk about the current going rate. [00:05:25] Speaker B: For certain. Nick's not on trial. [00:05:29] Speaker A: Wait, why are you bringing this up? You won't shut up about it. Cody. We're going to move on anyway. So, like, an excursion to this could be you can. If you can put the money down and get you and your friend a trip to Cabo, to Rome, to Bali, do it, obviously. But I'm sitting here thinking. I'm like, this is like a ticket to maybe a concert. This is maybe like, oh, hey, I got us tickets to the museum. [00:05:53] Speaker B: I would throw this in. Even, like, a gift card to a restaurant. [00:05:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I would say that, too. Like, basically something that you're saying in the future, I want to see you, and this is where we're going to do it, right? That's what we're talking about here. And then cash money, like you said. Okay, so I've never thought about it that way. Like you just said, is it just giving you have given me my value to you. [00:06:19] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:06:20] Speaker A: Because that's one of those things, too. And this isn't a Christmas thing, but I'm thinking about, like, weddings, how much. I'm like, you know what tier list you are on, my friends? If you're a 50 or $100, because cash is what you should give out a wedding. I think in that situation, give cash always because they're starting their new life and they just need money. Everyone just needs money. But I got friends that got $50 and I got friends who get $100. You know what I'm saying? [00:06:47] Speaker B: We all do. We all do that. [00:06:51] Speaker A: And that's 100% me completely telling you. Here's where I think of it. Whereas for Christmas, and I'm on a different way, I agree with you. I do 100% agree with you. But I love getting money as a gift, and gift cards are on here, folks. We'll talk about them later. This is different. Okay. And I like a gift card, and we'll talk about that when we get there, man. Just a nice, crisp $20 bill that. Now it's up to me. I think the only problem is, a lot of times I feel like what happens when you give someone money is like, they just go get gas with it. They just go get. [00:07:24] Speaker B: And that's great. You should be able to do that. I understand. I'm saying I don't want money as a gift. I'm going to put my up here. I'm going to vote for excursion. We'll keep talking about it, obviously, because I like the idea that, like you're saying, this is a place that I think we should go together. That's the difference between excursion and a gift card. Right, right. This is a place. And now I think, oh, you got me this pass to go bowling. You must want to bowl with me because you want to be my friend. If you give me $20 and I go spend it on bowling, that's nothing to you. [00:07:51] Speaker A: I think. Here's what's interesting about this bracket, this specific conversation, this matchup is. I think this is cat like. If you don't know the person like that, but you know, you got to get them a gift. An in law, let's say, or not even. I know my in law very well. [00:08:05] Speaker B: But you got to work or something. [00:08:08] Speaker A: Something. I think cash is king because. Hold on. Shut up. Shut up. Because an excursion would be much worse to get someone if you don't know them like that. You know what I'm saying? If I don't know you like that, but now you got us a bowling pass. Now I got to hang out with you. [00:08:28] Speaker B: Wrong. You're wrong. Because first of all, if you give them a bowling pass, you're saying like, hey, I would bowl with you, but you don't have to bowl with them. They can still just go bowl without you. So if you're not like that, you still have a get out of, like, oh, I went bowling, is great with my wife, whatever. And if you don't know them like that, you don't know what they're into. Oh, what if they don't like bowling? You get them a whirly ball pass. It's the sport of kings. Everybody's into it. Or laser tag or something. Something no one would ever spend money on themselves. But everybody loves laser tag. [00:08:54] Speaker A: Everyone wants to, I guess spa would go up here, probably right? Like, little trip to the spa for someone. [00:09:00] Speaker B: Exactly. That's going to go up if it's a white elephant or not. White elephant. Secret sand at work. And your limit is $20. You have to give the limit in cash. You have to. [00:09:11] Speaker A: Right? Because you're not going to get anything worth actually giving them if you don't know them like that. And they're just like, oh, $20. Yeah, I will take this money. Thank you so much. I appreciate you, man. [00:09:23] Speaker B: I'm lucky to excursion, dude. I think cash, there's just not enough of a feeling there. There's not enough spirit. [00:09:29] Speaker A: Okay. And obviously, I think the general thing that we're going for in this draft or in this bracket is like, we're trying to keep them to affordable gifts. Right? We're trying to keep this. But, like, dog, could you imagine if someone got you a bag or a suitcase? You flip it open. You zip it open. Stacks racks on racks on racks. You know what I'm saying? You got money, phone money. Now it's bills. Once again, I'm not using that as a barometer. I'm just saying, where does that rank then, as a guest for you? [00:10:07] Speaker B: Hey, I would say that's an excursion. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Baby, because you just said, we going shopping, we going out. [00:10:13] Speaker B: You've transcended. This isn't cash money anymore. We're going some. We're going out. [00:10:17] Speaker A: We got stuff to do with it. Because the point is, I'm not trying to ask you to go put this in the bank tomorrow. I'm saying let's throw it around. Let's go. Okay, I see what you're saying. Yeah. [00:10:27] Speaker B: I'm not going to an excursion. [00:10:28] Speaker A: I got to do it. [00:10:28] Speaker B: I think cash money is not a good gift. And I think it's a dangerous gift, because, again, you're showing me an actual numerical value to my friendship, to you. [00:10:38] Speaker A: Sure. You're right. [00:10:40] Speaker B: There's a groups of people. If there's some friends I have that. If they give me $20 in a card, I'd be like, damn, we tight like that. Okay, some friends, you put $20 in a card, I'll be like, for real, dog, you're going to spit in my face with this disrespect. I'm going to try. [00:10:52] Speaker A: My grandma gives me $10 in a card. I cry. I'm like, grandma, you don't have to give me anything. [00:10:57] Speaker B: Stop. Yeah, that's exactly. [00:10:58] Speaker A: Grandma, please. [00:10:59] Speaker B: If you give me $10 in a birthday card, you can go fuck yourself. [00:11:03] Speaker A: To that point, I honestly thought cash money was, like, almost a runaway champion. But I feel you've done a great job of walking me through. You're right. I would never do it for you. I would rarely do it. I feel like it's on my end. I feel like, how do we express to people that? Because low key. If you did give me $20, a little low. I feel like I'm at least a guaranteed 40, $50 friend. But. [00:11:32] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:11:33] Speaker A: Sometimes times is hard. Sometimes it's hard. I want to make it clear to anyone who's listening to this, who's like, man, what did I get for that kid? Cash money. I will not be that offended. I will still be respectful, and I will still, no matter what, this is one of those things where it's like, truly, if you are, I feel like cash is so good when you just are like. And I don't want to get them like a trinket. I don't know what to get them. No. [00:11:59] Speaker B: Me and Nick are completely opposite. Cash is bad. Get them an excursion. [00:12:02] Speaker A: But I will move on. Excursion. You're right. I think it's a little too risky here now. All right, next up, we've got the four seed game going up against the 13 seed book. Man, book is a wild. This should really be like. This isn't just for anyone, right? You got to know. [00:12:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Here's the thing. When I get a book, it teaches me a lot about how you see me, right? If you give me a book, you're like, I think Cody's a smart, sophisticated man, and he'd be interested in this topic or he'd be interested in this book. That means a lot to me. I want to share it with him because usually you don't just grab a random, know you're trying to find something they like or that you like. So I like, oh, that's really great. Also, you gave me homework. [00:12:44] Speaker A: You did give me homework. You did give me homework. [00:12:46] Speaker B: You did give me homework, didn't you? Now you did. [00:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:50] Speaker B: That's fucked up. So now I have to find my free time. And there's a reason we say books are books level boring. You know what's not boring? Not books. I think we use books to describe stuff. If I'm playing a video game that's boring, I say, I might as well have read a book. [00:13:07] Speaker A: Right? Exactly, man. Yeah, I think too. It's like you say if someone gets you that, like a book, they're like, hey, man, I read this book this year. It was incredible. I got to make sure you read it to me now. Like you said, I'm like, damn. So you're going to expect me to talk about this with you, too? And I've said how many times? I don't read. [00:13:23] Speaker B: Yes, a part of me is, like, upset, but I will read it. First of all, I will read it. And secondly, I'm glad you got me a book because it means you think more of me than I think of myself. [00:13:33] Speaker A: I like that part I love about this because it is one of those things I think no matter what, if I got a book, even if I know that I'm like, really? A book, I'm always going to feel that sense of like, man, you really think I'm that person, though, don't you? You really think I'm that dude? You think I'm that dude? Okay. I'm like, damn, you got a high opinion on me. I didn't realize that. I thought you knew me better. That's fine. That is true. I don't think just one book. I don't think I'd ever be offended by it. I'm never going to sit there and be like, really? [00:14:05] Speaker B: No, I'm never offended. I think it's good. It also depends on the person. Like, if my wife gets me a book, she knows my life, my inner workings. She gets me a book, maybe that becomes aspirational. Like, oh, maybe I can be the man my wife thinks she's married to. Maybe I can sit around and read a book and better myself. [00:14:21] Speaker A: Right? Although I will say this counts for most books. I swear to God, if you give me a self help book or something, I'll do that. Clearly, that's not what we're talking. No, I'll throw it in your face. Dude, I will throw it. [00:14:35] Speaker B: I got an aunt that always has. Like, she has a list of books she wants on Amazon, right? So you'll check it for Christmas stuff. Yeah. And it's just hundreds of christian self help books. And I know she reads them all and she gets them all. And I'm like, so are they working or to. [00:14:51] Speaker A: I don't mean to be disrespectful, but isn't the Bible the main one? Ain't that supposed to have it all? [00:14:58] Speaker B: No, she has the Bible. She's done it. [00:15:00] Speaker A: I'm like, ain't that the big one? Ain't that the one that kind of tells you how to do it, to live life, to help yourself? Ain't that the one? Why do I got to get you someone else telling you what's in the Bible? Just go read the Bible is all I'm saying. [00:15:12] Speaker B: Take notes. [00:15:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Now a game. [00:15:15] Speaker B: Great. It's an invitation to play with me in the future, which I like. [00:15:18] Speaker A: Sure. [00:15:19] Speaker B: I assume it's a game you know how to play because it's weird to get. [00:15:23] Speaker A: No, man. That happens, though, sometimes, doesn't it? Someone's like, oh, I thought this would be a cool game. And then you get there and you're like, all right, let's crack it open. Let's play. And then you're like, how do we play this? Oh, I don't. [00:15:34] Speaker B: If you're getting somebody a game, you got to get them a game that you enjoy or you've played and you've enjoyed, and then you want to share that experience with them. Don't get them a game that you think looks interesting, but you're too afraid to buy for yourself. [00:15:45] Speaker A: But I think that's the trap that happens. [00:15:47] Speaker B: I think that a lot of people. [00:15:49] Speaker A: Do that, especially because when you got a group of friends who love to play games with each other, right. There comes a point in most relationships with people who like games where your partner is probably like, do you really need to get another game? We have 40 games in the house, and you're telling me we're done playing all of those? We got to get a new one. You're like, you're right. You're right. That's a great point. But then all of a sudden, Christmas rolls around. Now I can buy Cody that game, and I get to play the game that I wanted to play, but now it's Cody's and I can't get in trouble. [00:16:20] Speaker B: Exactly. That's a dirty trick. That's a trick, too. [00:16:24] Speaker A: It's a trick. It's a trick and a trap, because there are times, and I think now more than ever, because now we see so many games being licensed. And what I mean by that is how many things are there a Marvel version of that? Like, I love the unmatched series where it's kind of like a chess game. You played it with me, Cody, and Marvel's in that. So, like, someone might be like, oh, I know Nick likes Marvel. [00:16:50] Speaker B: Why don't I get likes unmatched? [00:16:52] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe he'll like this. That ain't a. [00:16:56] Speaker B: It's like those munchkin card games. There's munchkin card games for everything. I have a munchkin set, but do I need the munchkin set that has all the Teenage Mutant ninja Turtles that are opening a bake store like a baking a bakery? First of all, why does that exist? I do need it, but it's getting too niche. [00:17:12] Speaker A: But it becomes, and I feel like it just becomes that thing where it's like, you don't even know if this game is good. You just saw, like, oh, look, it's got Disney characters on it. Cool. I'll go get that for my friend because I know they love Disney or. And it just. I feel like it's now getting more risky in these streets. And then I feel like the other side of game is too, when. Especially if you're getting something for someone who is in these gaming streets, who is playing these games all the time, and then you're like, I got you this really crazy game. It's called cards against humanity. Oh, my God. We played it at my in laws, and it was so much fun. [00:17:51] Speaker B: We were at a brewery, and they had it, and we just played it, and it was so good. [00:17:54] Speaker A: It was so funny. Oh, my God. We could not stop laughing. And I'm just like, is this 2011 all this all again? [00:18:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I've been down this road. I've got the bigger blacker box, baby. Don't worry about me. Yeah, don't worry about me. [00:18:08] Speaker A: So, I mean, you got to know, what level are these people at, right? Where are they in these? You better go check their game selection before you just start tossing in a new one. And they're like, oh, yeah, the game does hit, though. [00:18:22] Speaker B: It does do hit. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Like you said, it's fun. It immediately. Especially, too, if you're having a friend's Christmas with everyone. And everyone got each. You all had, like, a secret Santa. Now you all have something to do, right? It just really depends on the quality of that game. And now I'm sitting here, I'm really liking book. I'm kind of surprised where I'm at, too. [00:18:47] Speaker B: I'm really surprised about it, brother. [00:18:48] Speaker A: I thought I was like, okay. Honestly, it was like one of those things where like, okay, yeah. For the one person, you know, who likes books. But now I'm sitting here like, wait a second. [00:18:56] Speaker B: No books good for almost everyone. [00:18:59] Speaker A: Especially because I'm going the spectrum of books, too. I'm talking cookbooks. I'm talking. When I say, like, picture books, I mean, I guess, like coffee table books is what we would call know. But like, hey, man, this book is full of really cool photographs of stuff I know. You like. I know. Hey, you were just in Japan. If I found a really cool kind of coffee table book of shit from Japan. I know. You might be like, man, I took photos in Japan. I don't need someone else's photos. But you'd still be like, fucking thing. [00:19:27] Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah. I think I got a lock in book. I think game is very good. I think it's a very good option. But it's riskier. It's riskier. And I think it can be subverted into a. If you're coming at the game with malice in your heart or any sort of like, test running a game for yourself, spirit's not there. [00:19:46] Speaker A: Education has to be. It's at a higher level than I think I anticipate. As someone who is a big fan of games, and especially, too, if you got me a game, a, that you don't know, or b, if it just ends up sucking, I'm going to be like, that wasn't fun. Now you just ruin Christmas. [00:20:01] Speaker B: If you're going to get someone a game, get them a game you know you like, you think they would like and if possible, be their Sherpa the first time. [00:20:09] Speaker A: I think that's got to be the only way to do this. But you're right. If you have any bad intentions in your heart getting this game, because you just know you can't get it for yourself, I just don't think it's going to go as well as you think it is. Right, because no one wants to spend an hour learning new rules to something during a Christmas celebration. I ain't got that time. We wanted to sit around table and get going. All right, let's move. Also, where do you stand on themed monopolies? [00:20:39] Speaker B: I fuck with it. I like Monopoly enough that I'll play with themed monopoly. It's fine. [00:20:43] Speaker A: Well, that's what I was going to say. Well, no, I was like, actually that might be the one where I'm like, if you are going to get them something because no matter what everyone likes, do everyone likes monopoly? Until they don't. But everyone likes to start Monopoly. And I think a theme monopoly, that's the one time where you can kind of get away with like, I know one thing about you, I'm going to get you that theme monopoly. [00:21:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:04] Speaker A: And I'd be like, it's a safer bet for sure. I like a theme monopoly. But I'm with you here. Let's move book on. All right, so we got book going up against excursion getting out now, I guess one thing when my initial intent, and we can always change this. My initial intent was that this is whoever the gift giver is, is saying, I want to hang out with you. Here's the thing. But you brought up a point where it's like, well, if I don't want to hang out with you, I'll just go use it myself for people I do want to hang out with. Is that the ultimate middle finger? Is that the ultimate way to end a friendship that you maybe wanted to end? [00:21:42] Speaker B: No, I think the ultimate, well, I mean, more of a middle finger would be if they got you a book that meant a lot to them, is very important and you tell them I couldn't finish. It was garbage. That's terrible. There's a book I read in school called across five Aprils that may or may not have ruined my life. But that's a story for another time. [00:21:59] Speaker A: Sure. [00:22:00] Speaker B: The point I'm trying to make is if someone gave me a cross 5 April and like this book changed my life, I love it. I want you to read it. And I read it again. Say I had no knowledge of it. And I read it again. I don't want to be your friend anymore. Books are so personal and mean so much to people that if you give me something that is defining for you, like a core defining aspect of your personality is derived from this book. And I hate the book. I'm not going to tell that to you. But now I don't like you as much. [00:22:25] Speaker A: I now know something about you that I didn't want, that I didn't need to know wasn't there. Now I have a deeper look into you. Like I got to open the hood up. I got to pop the hood and dig around the engine a little bit and saw I don't like it. I don't like that carburetor you got on there, dog. [00:22:40] Speaker B: I don't. [00:22:40] Speaker A: The carburetor is in the engine, right? It probably is now. Okay, here's a question I have because I'm really liking books, so I got to find the holes in it, right? [00:22:49] Speaker B: Yes. [00:22:49] Speaker A: Speaking of, what if you gave someone the book holes at this age? What if straight up, you open a book, you are a 33 year old man, and another 33 year old person was like, hey, I got you a book and you open up and it's Lewis a cars, maybe. Pulitzer Prize, definitely newberry. It won awards. [00:23:12] Speaker B: Yeah, it's good book holes. [00:23:16] Speaker A: Where are you at? Let's say I do it, Cody. I get you holes? [00:23:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:20] Speaker A: Are you just like, oh, well, first. [00:23:22] Speaker B: Of all, I thought book was aspirational. When you gave me a book, I'm like, oh, they think I'm a reader. But if you give me holes, it's like, you think I ain't been here before? You think I ain't read this shit also? Yeah, I'm here with you. So now do you think I can't read good, right? [00:23:39] Speaker A: You got me a children's book. [00:23:41] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:23:42] Speaker A: Or I think too. It's risky. I feel like, okay, you know someone likes books, right? Like, you're like, oh, this person's a book person. I know they love to read. But then a. If you got them a book they already had, but then I'm sitting here like, what if it just makes me laugh, the idea of giving Catherine Twilight. Yes. [00:24:00] Speaker B: She would be into it. That's what. [00:24:01] Speaker A: Like, if you dropped down, I was like, I got you the Twilight book set. And not like a nice. Not because I know she likes it or just, hey, man, I know you like books. Here's what is one of the most popular books of all time. So if I was looking at a list of books, I did get you a top ten book by the list of what's sold. That doesn't mean quality. It just means it's sold a lot. But if I got you twilight, that's where I'm like, okay, this isn't perfect, folks. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Well, I mean, there's people out there, okay? There's people out there who are avid readers. Because I get stuff on instagram and they'll make jokes about it, where I'll be like, yeah, what kind of books do you like? It's all fantasy pornography. That's what I like is fantasy pornography. I'm not saying me, but if someone likes that and you give them a book, they're not going to read it. There's no elves banging, bouncing uglies in there. But then if you're into that. And you're like, well, if you roll the dice and get them some fantasy pornography, they might not be into that, dog. [00:24:52] Speaker A: That would be a wild thing if you were like, I guess another version of this is like the romance novel, right? The fabio on the COVID kind of. [00:25:01] Speaker B: Novel where you're like a sex book. Do you want to reenact this book? What's the secret message about this book? [00:25:08] Speaker A: Hey, yo, fam. I'm sorry. My mind just unlocked something. So my mom, every year when I was a kid, would give us, like $100 to go fill her stocking, right? And she'd be like, go get me a book. So me and my sister, we knew the types of books that were on because my mom would have, like, a book on the coffee table or the kitchen countertop where she was reading it, right? Or by her chair or whatever, where she was reading it. So we knew what the covers of those books looked like. They were definitely Fabio books. [00:25:35] Speaker B: She's reading pornography, dude. [00:25:37] Speaker A: I bought my mom's smut books. [00:25:40] Speaker B: Yeah, dude. [00:25:42] Speaker A: And I know she didn't ask us to do that. So what is that thought for her where she's like, oh, yeah, this one looks good. It's like, know, Fabio looking like a cop. [00:25:53] Speaker B: Fabio looking like a cop. Just, damn, dude, I would read it. But here's the problem. So if, say, your son, I'm your mom, and my son and my daughter just got me these books that are. [00:26:05] Speaker A: Horny as hell in this age, too, we're maybe like, I'm maybe 13 and sis is like, eleven, maybe even a little bit younger. We do not know the contents of this book, right? This isn't me getting my mom 50 shades of gray as an adult and being like, yo, here you go, mom. I'm going to make Christmas awkward for everyone. As a parent. [00:26:28] Speaker B: Say you want to read this book and actually try to bust a nut, right? [00:26:32] Speaker A: Which is the point. Which is the point. [00:26:34] Speaker B: I'm not judging anyone that does that. I'm saying your 13 year old son gave you this book. So do you have the intestinal fortitude to rub one out to this? Right? And if so, at the end, like everyone should do, who do you thank for your orgasm? [00:26:48] Speaker A: Yeah. As you always should, by the way. Always thank whether maybe if you're watching pornography, thank the performers. If it was a mental game, thank who's ever in there. But you're right. If it was a gift situation, dog. [00:27:04] Speaker B: Dude, I got to lock in. Excursion. I can't play in the world. No, the book is good. But it's too powerful. Are you kidding me? I never even thought about this scenario that you created. Okay, I want to be clear. [00:27:18] Speaker A: I don't think that many people are handing out smut books. Unless it's like, you and your friends are in a smut book group. If that's your book club and you all are just some dirty ladies, which get down, by the way. That's awesome. [00:27:29] Speaker B: No, I'm not saying people are handing out smut. I'm saying I know you're not the only kid that's given their mom a dirty book. [00:27:36] Speaker A: No. Oh, no, I am not. [00:27:39] Speaker B: So I'm just saying that's dangerous. I think books still good, but if you're under the age of 18, stay away from books as gifts. You don't know what you don't know. [00:27:46] Speaker A: Yeah, this goes back to the game thing. Hey, if you don't know the contents of it and you're under 18, don't be doing this. [00:27:52] Speaker B: And that's where it becomes, too. If my friend Mike gives. He's like, this book changed my life, and he gives it to me, and it's Fabio on the COVID I have. [00:28:02] Speaker A: A feeling you don't hand out smut books to at adult ages. [00:28:07] Speaker B: That's what I'm saying, though. But if he does. If he does, what is the other context? Handing me the gift? [00:28:13] Speaker A: I think a better way to think about that is, like, there was a time, an era in this country, where 50 shades of gray was being handed out indiscriminately. [00:28:22] Speaker B: No, you're missing. [00:28:23] Speaker A: People were throwing this away. No, I'm saying there were probably people who had read it and were like, ooh, I got a friend. Let me give them this popular book. And now you're receiving fifth grade. Maybe you just don't know what it's about. And you're like, okay, I'll start reading this. And you're like, yo, what? Whoa, now I got to be like, yo, do I need a safe word with you? [00:28:48] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Are you sending me a message coded in this book? [00:28:53] Speaker A: Yeah. What are you trying to get at with this? What are you trying to tell me right now? If any book has a sex scene, does it immediately become like. Or if it's like a horny teen ya book, though? Like, maybe there's no sex, but it's, like, very heavy. It's like a slug triangle. And now I got to sit here and be like, wait, do you think I'm Katniss and you're PETA, wait. [00:29:12] Speaker B: Are you trying to steal my wife? [00:29:14] Speaker A: Right. [00:29:16] Speaker B: I think we got to lock in excursion, because, yeah, I want to go bowling with you. Maybe that'd be fun. That's one thing. But reading a book and then all of a sudden realizing that they deeply want your wife and also the title to your land and they also maybe. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Killed your father, that can't handle it, I guess. I think to what you're saying, from outside of a smutty lens, it's like there just becomes that chance where you're like, is there a coded message in this story? [00:29:41] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:29:42] Speaker A: Is there something that I'm supposed to be picking up that you're putting down in this book? And now I'm like, exactly what I'm saying. [00:29:50] Speaker B: And that's also the reason I didn't make a lot of mixtapes in high school. I didn't make them for girls. [00:29:55] Speaker A: I didn't make them for friends. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Because for me, anytime I got a mixtape, I can't help but read between the lines. Even if there's nothing there, I will. [00:30:03] Speaker A: Fill in that empty space to this day. To this day. I got a mixtape from a girl who her and I had had a very interesting kind of up and down. Been with each other, been out of love with each other, and she made me a mixtape, and it had brand news. I believe you, but my Tommy Gunn doesn't on it. And for any of you who know what that song's about, it's the most fucked up thing to put on a mixtape. And then when I went to her, I was like, hey, why is this on here? They were like, I just don't want to want to explain why every song's on there. I just feel like it's just kind of a collage of us, and I was just like, yo. Oh, man. [00:30:41] Speaker B: I've wronged this person. [00:30:43] Speaker A: To be clear, for anyone who doesn't know it, there's a lyric in it says, I hope you get a disease that they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for. [00:30:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I can, like an excursion. Dude, I would rather get now, I'm afraid. I don't want to have to be trying to decipher the Da Vinci Code every time I read a book from a friend. I just want to go bowling with. [00:31:07] Speaker A: You and also give me the Da Vinci Code. Now I got to be like, oh, damn. Are you like a weird conspiracy theorist? Do we got to try to talk about the Knights Templar now? I don't want to talk about the Knights Templar with you. Damn. Okay. [00:31:20] Speaker B: Books got me messed up, bro. [00:31:23] Speaker A: Man, it came in so low. I was like, no way. This shit's getting through. Goes up so high. One little story about me buying my mom's smut as a 13 year old changed everything. The world is different now. I got to go talk to my mother now and be like, hey, mom, you know those books I got you? What happened? Did you. Were you like, well, do you ask her that? [00:31:49] Speaker B: You want to know? [00:31:50] Speaker A: Yeah. No one wants. You're right, I don't. [00:31:54] Speaker B: What if she just looked you dead in the eyes and she said, oh. [00:31:56] Speaker A: Yeah, that's my favorite book. [00:31:57] Speaker B: Fucking, yeah. Left me trembling on the floor. And you're like, what? [00:32:01] Speaker A: Oh, you mean cops and robbers? Oh, I've never forgot. I have it highlighted sections. I have it tabbed out. [00:32:08] Speaker B: She turns around and pulls up her shirt, and she's got it tattooed on her back image from it. It's alternate, though. It's him holding one of those giant vibrating things. [00:32:22] Speaker A: He's got her in one hand and, yeah, just a giant, vibrant. I'm like, no. [00:32:27] Speaker B: Yeah, dude, the risky run. Also, I still think book is pretty good, but I go on excursion. [00:32:34] Speaker A: I can't further discuss the current plot. Holes in this gift now are too large for you to ignore. And you're just like, I think excursion is a good one. I think excursion, once again, it does tell the person, hey, I want to hang out with you again. Hopefully you're getting them something that would be cool to like. I mean, a concert ticket. What a great gift. As long as it's a good concert and not just like the I get, you know what low key, I think. Cody, if you were want to I got us tickets to the orchestra. My first impression would be like, you fucking serious? But then I'd be like, oh, we about to have fancy night. Yeah, dude, you and the. Even when the excursion might kind of be kind of dumb, kind of bad. I'm like, but we might turn this. I have to imagine that you have some idea how we're going to also turn it around, though. [00:33:22] Speaker B: You're like, getting dressed all normal, and I show up in a full tuxedo, mustache curled, fucking a cane top hat. I'm like, we're going to the orchestra, boy. And you're like, oh, I got to change. I was like, don't worry about it. I also rented you a tuxedo. We're going. [00:33:43] Speaker A: That's the gift right there. Hey, folks, that's the gift right now. Get your friends, get them orchestra, and then go get a tux rental and show up and be like, yo, we doing it. And that works all genders, too. Everyone looks good in a tux. Everyone looks good in a tux. Get them a tux and go. Take your friends to the orchestra. Have a fancy night. You deserve it. [00:34:01] Speaker B: Excursion. Go into the final four. [00:34:02] Speaker A: Excursion. Go into the final four. And that is it, folks. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of friendly competition. If you want to watch your boys, a few things that you can do, as always, share with a friend, tell a friend, wherever you're listening to us, make sure you hit that. Like that. Follow that. Subscribe and give us those five stars, please. [00:34:19] Speaker B: Absolutely. Follow us on all our social media, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. Just look up at friendlycompod. If you have an idea for a whole 16 team tournament you'd like to see us do, email those to us at [email protected]. [00:34:31] Speaker A: As always, shout outs to charizard for that intro to our music. You want to hear more of their stuff? Head over to bandcamp, type in charizard and replace the vowels with sixes. That is going to be it for us, folks. We got a new episode coming out on Monday, but until then, I've been Nick Carey. And I'm Cody Lena. [00:34:49] Speaker B: See you on the boat.