Episode Transcript
[00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to Friendly Competition, a podcast discover the best of all time. I'm Nick Carey alongside my coast and best friend, Cody Lena. Discuss various pop culture topics and narrow it down to truly the best of all time.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Or as we like to call it, the boat. Before they can step foot on the boat, we put them into a sweet 16 style tournament. We argue each round till we decide a winner. Nick, what criteria do we use when we decide he steps foot on the boat?
[00:00:39] Speaker A: Whatever the hell we want. Cody, you want to tell them what we're talking about this season.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: If it munches and crunches in the night, if you have to leave it out. If you have to leave it out for Troy Ackman to come, and then he gets there and leaves a nice little toblerone in your stocking. That's what we're talking about. We're talking about the only, the happiest season of the year. He knows when you've been sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He throws touchdowns and comes to town. Troy Acman, for fuck's sake. Right? That's the song.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: I believe that's the one that everyone knows. Yeah, that's what we sing on all of our super bowl parties.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Yeah, he's here now, and he's bringing you all of his good stuff. You just got to open up your heart and let him in.
[00:01:15] Speaker A: You're silly if you took your stockings down just because you thought Christmas was over.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: Do you not want a Toblerone in there?
[00:01:22] Speaker A: You don't want a Toblerone from Troy Aikman coming through, grabs a couple deviled eggs and weenies and heads out. He's like, and here's your toble. It's the first Santa that you're like, oh, hey, nice. He's here.
[00:01:32] Speaker B: I mean, he does have to throw a fucking absolute scorcher through your window to break it open to get in.
It's worth it, man, for that toblerone.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: It's Troy Aikman. Like, Troy Aikman gets to come through. You get to have white Jay Z.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Come into the room. Exactly.
[00:01:47] Speaker A: Who doesn't love white Jay Z?
[00:01:49] Speaker B: At what point do you think, at what celebrity would you be pissed that they threw an absolute heater through your window? Okay, if Troy Aikman throws one and he comes in and gives me a toll, run away. All right. This is pretty cool.
I like that.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: I would say Polly shore is right around where I'd be like, Rob Schneider.
[00:02:10] Speaker B: No, you're mistaken, Nick. You're not mad at them because of their low level of celebrity. You're mad because they haven't done a movie in so long that you're not sure if they can pay to fix your window.
[00:02:22] Speaker A: Can you even cover this, Rob?
[00:02:24] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: This is reckless. Once insurances get involved, are you going to be able to cover this?
Why are you doing this, Nick Swartzen? There's no way. Were you doing it because you're homeless? Were you trying to break in?
[00:02:38] Speaker B: First of all, if Nick Swartzen broke my window, I would love that. I feel like me and him could have a good conversation, but I don't want him to live in my house.
[00:02:46] Speaker A: Well, everyone knows if you invite Nick Schwartzen in at this time, where he's at in his career, you might be housing a Nick sportsman.
[00:02:53] Speaker B: He actually knows all the laws about squatting. Like all the squatters rights laws. So if he gets into your house.
[00:03:00] Speaker A: It'S going to take under 30 days. You got to get him out in within 30 days.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: Yeah, but he knows all those law, too. I've seen it's not uncommon for people to have to sit six to twelve months just with the litigation he's going to put you through, right?
[00:03:13] Speaker A: He's saving all of his money. All of his money just strictly goes to any money he makes from his appearance in grandma's. Boy goes to paying for lawyers because he's like, it's a lot cheaper than I can just squat. Then for, like, six months, wrap time up in litigation. Sure, I know I'm losing the case, but I'm paying the lawyers. I don't give fuck.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: Exactly. And it's cheaper than rent.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
In this economy, it's the only way to get through. It's how the rich keeping us down.
[00:03:39] Speaker B: Elon Musk just won't get out of your fucking house. Get out of here. Must. You're the richest man. I'm not paying rent, boy.
[00:03:46] Speaker A: That's how you stay rich. It's like when you find out when rich people are. Like when you see a rich person tip, like, $10 on, like, a $200 meal for the family, and you're like, hey, man, not even a little bit more. Hey, man, I didn't get rich giving my money away.
But you couldn't help people. Like what? Fucking rich.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: Now we're all upset. That's what we're talking about. The holiday that is Troy Aikman.
[00:04:10] Speaker A: Do you want to know what something, though? I feel like if we got rich, right? Yeah. Beyond how rich we are now, I think maybe one of the worst parties to go to, if you were rich would be like a rich Super bowl party. Because they don't understand that the more high class you make these foods, the worse they become, right?
[00:04:33] Speaker B: Especially for what I'm trying to get done at the Super bowl.
[00:04:35] Speaker A: Like, when people try to elevate queso, right? And they're like, I got some awaka cheese from Cancun, Mexico. We got.
They really throw it together. You're like, dog, I just needed, like, velveeta. Like, velveeta in a can of hormel.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: And a mix that up queso. Get in there.
[00:04:55] Speaker A: What are you, man? Like, I didn't care the yet. It's like, I had to make a.
I don't. Dude, I don't care if you're rich.
[00:05:03] Speaker B: And you want to throw a football party for the big game and you really want to press ache me this year, maybe get two toblerone, because, you know, he has to give one person every year two Tobleron.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: It's essentially the same as getting the handshake in British Bake off from Paul.
It's only going to happen maybe, like, once. So whoever gets it, you are honored and blessed.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: Got to get it then. Yes, but the trick is, if you're rich, don't get rich fancy food. Just buy more shitty food.
[00:05:33] Speaker A: Right? Just line it up.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: You're like, oh, I could buy so much velveeta. Or I could just buy that. No, fill the pool with velveeta. Go big or go home. If you're rich, do something cool. Stop just hoarding your money and making it so poor people can't eat. Fill a pool with velveeta, for fuck's sake, and get the fuck out of my house.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: Nick Swartzen, please go with your miserable life.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: That's all, folks.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: We're here to talk about Super bowl foods.
And what's the best one to have? Super bowl is coming up. It's this week as the sun shines on the empire that is America.
[00:06:12] Speaker B: We're less than a week away as the crow flies.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: We know by the end of this week who is our daddy. Is it the Baltimore Ravens? Is it the chiefs? You can tell because they're going up today. We don't know Super bowl.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: We have no idea.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: We don't know.
[00:06:32] Speaker B: I don't even know the four, and that's okay. Nick, I got to talk about these cookies and potato skins. Do you want to give us bracket rundown? Oh, yeah.
[00:06:38] Speaker A: Let's get.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: So here we are in group C. We've already had the group A and Group B, champions. So go listen to them. We take 16 items, we send it to our brachatologists. They kick us back the list. And so here we have in group C, the two seed, the charcuterie board going up against the 15 seed chips. And then we have the seven seed cookies going against the ten seed potato skins. Cody, you said you want to get in them cookies and potato skins right away.
[00:07:01] Speaker B: It was just something. You know how we often talk about how, growing up, we never got to have some candies and some foods because it was too fancy, we were too poor, and that would never come to us?
[00:07:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: And I think for the most part, my life has been right. When I'm like, yeah, no, that's a fancy person's food. That's rich. That's poor. I'm pretty good about it, dude, potato skins. There's something about potato skins. I see. I'm like, dude, that's, like, the fanciest, richest person food you can have. And then I know for a fact, if I showed it to a rich person, big, what is this?
[00:07:27] Speaker A: What have you served me?
[00:07:28] Speaker B: So, I've somehow found myself in a world where just me alone doesn't deserve potato skins for some reason, and I can't figure out what it is.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: I mean, you're right. There is something inherently lavish about them, but I can't figure out why. What is it about cutting a potato in half, scooping out some guts, baking it in an oven, and then being like, now I have my little potato boat.
What sea of adventure. Shall I take it on?
[00:07:56] Speaker B: It just feels like. It felt like those were foods for people who had hope, and we just.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: No.
[00:08:03] Speaker B: So we weren't allowed to have it. It's like, hey, this boat of potato represents your future, where you can achieve anything you want if you believe in yourself. And me as, like, a five year old, that ain't for me.
[00:08:14] Speaker A: Cody, it's amazing that you persevered through where you are today because you didn't get to grow up in a home where your parents talked to you about the symbology of the potato skin.
The. Do you see this potato skin, son? This represents the sea of adventure that you're going to go on in life. And it's bumpy journeys through the sour cream rivers and through the bacon mountains and then in the chive forest.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: And then some people are like us, and we just get to be salt and vinegar chips and have to deal with it. Okay.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: Guess it's what I get.
It hurts my mouth.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: Why does it hurt my mouth? Yeah, welcome to the human condition, my dude.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: Welcome to poor bitch, you poor, sad piece of shit.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: Sucks to be you, motherfucker. I bet you would like that potato skin, you sick fuck. Yeah.
[00:09:04] Speaker A: Just looking outside of windows at Chili's while people are eating their potato skin, just hanging outside of TGI Fridays, like, hey, man, you're fogging up the glass, man. Hey, man.
It's so simple. But, no, there is an aspirational quality to the potato skin. Now, the question is, Cody, though, upon eating the potato skin, does it live up?
[00:09:32] Speaker B: No.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: You're like, this is just bad baked potato.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: First of all, I'm not a huge fan of baked potatoes or potato skins in that.
I feel like potato skins are just, like, the worst nachos. If I'm going to get a potato with stuff on it, let's do it nacho style. Let's do it chips and dip style. It's just too thick. It's too much potato.
[00:09:57] Speaker A: And so many people.
[00:09:58] Speaker B: You want this flavorful stuff. Let's dumb it down for you with bland ass potato. Just more bland potato.
[00:10:05] Speaker A: You have to scoop out a potato skin.
We are talking maybe less than a centimeter of meat in that potato for it to be a good potato skin. You know what I'm saying? I feel like sometimes people just like, maybe they don't even scoop it out. They're just like, no, I'll just bake this, and then I just put stuff on top of it. No. The only way to do this, right? Because the beauty of it is supposed to be self contained, right? That's the hope. And the promise that we get with the potato skin is that I get to have all my favorite little flavors all nestled into one little canoe that gets to go down my throat.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: That's the dream.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: But so many times, the dream is not realized. And I'll tell you, talk about something that when it gets cold on the table, trash, the cheese is congealed. Now, that used to be kind of melted on it. The potatoes gotten cold.
The chives you put on have kind of wilted off the heat.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: And you're just like, cookie is the. And cookie is the perfect example of cookie is cookie, like, it's good. And there's a chocolate chip cookie on the table. It's good.
[00:11:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:12] Speaker B: You cannot make bad chocolate chip cookies.
[00:11:15] Speaker A: No, I agree. My only problem with cookie is I always appreciate that someone wanted to bring a sweet. Right? Someone had the foresight to be like, hey, it doesn't have to be all salt. There's also other things that are destroying America.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: Like, know it's a veggie tray people and the cookie people are both too good for us.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: I think the cookie people.
I don't know if I'm going to sanctify the cookie people because it really feels like they still want to get nasty, but they're just trying to bring in their own specific flavor of nasty.
This is, like, someone who's, like, bringing blindfolds to the sex party. Oh, I thought we were. I at least wanted to know who everyone was. They're like, no, let's have a little more fun, though.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:11:54] Speaker A: Like, let's elevate the game here a little. Like, let's not contain ourselves.
[00:11:59] Speaker B: All right, I'm going to write. Nick thinks elevate game is blindfolds at a sex party. Got it.
[00:12:03] Speaker A: Got it. That's the sexiest thing that I think you can do at a party.
[00:12:07] Speaker B: I mean, at a party, it's definitely a thing you can do.
[00:12:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: I'm just going to hand out blindfolds at my next party, birthday party, and be like, here you go, guys. But not acknowledge what's happened. Yeah.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: So do we keep it on the halt? Are we just going to do, like, is this for an activity later? Do we put them on now? You're like, it's up to you, dude.
[00:12:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:26] Speaker A: I'm just wanting to make sure everyone had a blindfold for the party, that's all. Yeah, it's just me just walking around in a blindfold the whole time.
[00:12:34] Speaker B: I'm the only one. Just Nick's walking around naked, fully clothed, blindfolded erection. And everyone's like, what's Nick doing?
[00:12:42] Speaker A: Some gray sweatpants on. Just like, you can tell he's ready. Why is he doing this? This is kind of the party now, actually.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: What's up with the cut of Nick's jib? Which is a very funny joke because it's a sail reference and you look like a trying to. He's trolling for. Dude, let Nick run. Yeah, let the big dog run. Yeah.
[00:13:01] Speaker A: Actually, you are mostly holding these blindfolds so that when he eventually does take his off, it'll look like you all maybe have also just taken yours off. But the party is watching Nick think this is a sex party while he bumps into all of you.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: I think potato skins just don't do it for me, dog.
[00:13:20] Speaker A: No, this is one where the promise of it. I've had great potato skins. I have, too, but let's be clear. The amount of times I've had a great potato skin compared to the amount of times I have not, the thickness.
[00:13:35] Speaker B: Of the inner potato has to be perfect. It's such a delicate balance. If it's too thin, they break. Can't support the weight. If it's too thick, it tastes like potato. It tastes like bad baked potato. And thank you.
[00:13:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's the problem. I just think if we're talking about, what do you want to bring? What are you excited about at the table? This is one that when I see them, I'm like, I am excited for sure. But the second I have it, I'm usually like, this is a bad choice. And the real estate, it takes up on a plate. Come on now.
That's what, five deviled eggs?
[00:14:06] Speaker B: Yeah, at least five deviled eggs and 40 of those little wieners. But here's the thing. Cookies are great, especially if we're assuming everyone brought homemade stuff. Anyone can make good homemade Chocolate chip cookies. I got a lot in cookies, dude.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: I think so. I'm with you here. I'm down for cookies. Let's move those on where it will go up against the charcuterie board versus.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: Chips now, charcuterie board chips for adults, right?
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Exactly. Yeah. That's really what it feels like where I think here. We're going to run the gamut here. You can have made a really nice one with figs and nice jams and preserves and your delicate brush shoots and a nice brie or whatever, but I also am going to count, like, a block of cheddar cheese and some summer sausage and some Ritz crackers.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:52] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying?
[00:14:53] Speaker B: Down to clown with that.
[00:14:54] Speaker A: We're going to go the whole gamut here on this.
[00:14:57] Speaker B: A problem with charcuterie boards is personally, is that I just feel like everything in the air, in people's hands lives on charcuterie boards. Sure. Just that weird. Not the greasiness of the meat, which I love the crack. It feels like if I sneeze down the block, it's going to find its way to the charcuterie board.
[00:15:17] Speaker A: Yeah. And by definition, too, because you wanted to make it look nice and layered. Everything. People do have to go. If we didn't offer toothpicks or a good system, people are just bare handing it and touching the whole thing.
Everyone.
[00:15:33] Speaker B: It depends on how nasty your friends are. Yeah.
[00:15:36] Speaker A: You're like, oh, let me just grab a cracker here and just start stacking and making my own sandwich right here. I'm like, what? You couldn't have just used the tongs and done that over on your plate over somewhere else. You're just making in front of all of us. We're just watching you pause all the food.
[00:15:51] Speaker B: I was just thinking of, like, if there was a party and I saw there was a charcuterie board, and I had to assess who was at the party before I would judge if I was going to go there. Nick, I love you. You're my best friend. But if I saw you at a party, I might hit him with the hesi on the charcuterie board.
Has Nick been raw dogging that charcuterie?
[00:16:12] Speaker A: You know what? That's Nick's charcuterie board.
[00:16:14] Speaker B: Actually.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: We're just going to say someone just comes over and brings me the whole.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: Nick the dirty man. I've just seen this dude eat, and I know he's all hands.
[00:16:23] Speaker A: It's all hands.
[00:16:24] Speaker B: It's all slot.
[00:16:25] Speaker A: I'm about to destroy this charcuterie. It's going to be a disaster because I'm going to be picking through, being like, well, is it all pepper? I'm picking through like it's a rolodex of the cheeses, your sliced cheese. I'm like, pepper jack. Pepper jack. Is there a Swiss behind the pepper jack? Do you know?
[00:16:42] Speaker B: Do you think they randomly just hid one in the middle somewhere?
[00:16:45] Speaker A: Let me just look through all of these slices real quick to find it. See, that's the other thing I don't like about charcuterie board. It slows down the flow of the table, because now you got to sit there and wonder, like, okay, how many sausages do I want to grab? How many little meat slices? How many cheese slice? Well, now I've got three different crackers, so I'm trying to think of, like, the pairings. And now am I supposed to put just a glob of jam on, or should I just put, like, a little dab onto the one piece of cheese I want it to be on? We just got too much time. We're taking up a lot of time. Chips. See, the opposite of what you said with chips. I know these chips have been pawed, but I know the chemicals on these chips. It don't matter.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: That's fine. It's totally fine.
[00:17:26] Speaker A: Don't worry. The barbecue dust that they put on to make the lay's barbecue chips, that's killing any diseases, antimicrobial.
[00:17:33] Speaker B: Dude, do not worry about that one bit.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: No concerns about what gets off. You could cough on the chips, and I'd be like, just shake it. Just shake them up. It'll get fine.
[00:17:43] Speaker B: I have a love, hate, nature with chips in this bracket, because I feel like chips have to be on the table. But if I've put on too many chips on my plate, then I've failed. I have failed personally at the potluck, right?
[00:17:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:57] Speaker B: I can't celebrate the big game. I can't celebrate all these touchdowns and sacks and gatorade showers with just Doritos. Can't do it. I need a charcuterie board. I need a potato skin.
[00:18:08] Speaker A: Chips are the lettuce of the Super bowl party, right? Of, like, the salad bar. They are the salad bar of the party because all they're designed to do, you put it at the front so people can grab some chips. But now I got too many chips on my plate, so I can only put so many other items. And you're happy you have chips. You're not mad that you have chips, but you are just like, dang it, I did it again.
[00:18:32] Speaker B: I think chips main job at the Super bowl party is to be open and ready for when the people get there that got hungry a little too quick for the gun. That's what chips are for, right?
[00:18:44] Speaker A: Eat some chips.
[00:18:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: You literally will tell someone, eat that thing that has almost no nutritional value and will likely not fill you up.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Get ready for what I'm about. I'm about to put this meat in you, dog. Yeah.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: Like I said, I like the effort of a charcuterie board. If you did a really good job and you did it well done, I'm excited. But then I'm also looking at stuff like, am I allowed to eat those grapes? You know, when you see just like, there's maybe, like, a small bundle of grapes. So you're like, well, I'm not going to just pick off, like, two grapes. That seems insane, but if I take all the ten grapes off, then there will be no more grapes on this beautiful display. And now I don't want everyone looking at me like the fucking grape monster. Oh, there used to be grapes on.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: There, but the Magilla gorilla looking asshole.
[00:19:30] Speaker A: Over there because I decided to take the ten grapes that were on there or the four cherries that you had on there, because I was like, well.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: That, okay, maybe you could help me because you're the coolest, fanciest person I know.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: Thank you. I do appreciate you acknowledging that. Finally. It's taken a while, but I'm glad you have finally acknowledged I am the coolest and fanciest person you know. Yes. Ask me your questions, your cool and fancy question.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: When I'm in a cool situation in a fancy one, and I see the. I'm out of my helmet, right?
[00:19:59] Speaker A: I'm in there so many times, dude.
[00:20:01] Speaker B: Honestly. I know you are. When I see a charcuterie board, how Lunchable am I allowed to get with this bad boy? Am I allowed just to make a straight up Sammy with the crackers and the meat and the cheese? Or do I have to, like, fucking, can I take a big piece of meat and just wrap some cheese? What am I allowed to do? Do I have to eat it one by one?
[00:20:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I will say when we watch you all just, like, wrap, unless it is brushoot and mozzarella, those are the only two that you could wrap, and they should have been wrapped for you, if I'm being honest. If the host didn't wrap those ahead of time, that one is fine. But any other time where you just grab a meat and a cheese with no cracker, especially you got a nice water crescent cracker, just so delicate and light.
[00:20:44] Speaker B: I'm supposed to stack it up like it is.
[00:20:47] Speaker A: It actually is meant to be lunchable.
It is so that you have the instincts. You have the right instincts.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: That's good.
[00:20:54] Speaker A: Don't just meat and cheese it.
Look at that meat and cheeser over there. Yeah, you don't want to be called that. Not at the cool, fancy parties that.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: Nick is always at. I got to lock in charcuterie board. I think. I think chips have to be there, but I don't even. I've been to super bowl parties, and I've never touched a got.
[00:21:12] Speaker A: I got to go chips. I like a charcuterie board. I'm happy it's there. But this also seems if chips are filler, and I agree they are, to me, this is almost denser filler.
[00:21:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I see what you're saying.
[00:21:28] Speaker A: And they're only kind of paired with each other. I like watching how a chip. A chip gets to mingle with the whole plate. If I get just a lay's ruffle on something, it's got new sauce on it. I'm like, I'm excited. I'm like, ooh, what's that going to taste like? I got a little bit of that meatball sauce on there. Yeah, that's going to go down smooth.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: I think I could use the same logic I'm using to vote for charcuterie board. Like, I like how it's like before the real food gets to you. Like, way to start and get ready. I think I could easily twist that logic and do the same thing for chips. So I think both are completely valid things over here. I'm just very excited because you finally taught me how to be fancy. I get to use this new knowledge at the party.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: But see, that's what we just started this all by saying the Super bowl party shouldn't be a fancy party. Let's get down to it.
[00:22:15] Speaker B: Honestly, charcuterie is the least fancy of a fancy foods, though.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: That's true. And we do all say that, and we all know that. That's why we're all laughing when you all were like, charcuterie boards. We're like, this is like the first thing we put out.
[00:22:26] Speaker B: This is literally breakfast for us. Yeah.
[00:22:28] Speaker A: This means nothing. But I guess if you pours with your cool, these is what makes you feel fancy. Go for it. But I got to go. Chips. I'm really excited.
I like to see a couple of bags of chips. Honestly, I always love when someone just goes and buys the box with the mini bags of chips. So now I can just grab a bag of them and I can just toss that in a pocket.
[00:22:51] Speaker B: If I see the mini bags of chips, you better have some fucking chili that I can do a walking taco in that bag, because if you don't, you have angered me to my very core.
[00:23:02] Speaker A: I assume there would be walking tacos. You have set a precedent with these little bags. Now, were there any fritos or doritos? No, there weren't.
[00:23:10] Speaker B: Sure?
[00:23:10] Speaker A: They were sour cream and onion and regular and barbecue.
[00:23:13] Speaker B: You're going to get a bag of chips. You've set the precedent. And if I come up to you and I'm like, hey, do you have chili for these walking tacos? You say, no, I'm going to say, do you have a car? Because you're going to need to go get some.
It's either I get chili or you get these hands.
[00:23:29] Speaker A: Make a choice.
[00:23:30] Speaker B: Make a choice right now. Make an assessment that's fair.
[00:23:34] Speaker A: All right, well, we'll settle this the only way we know how with the american voting coin of 2004, is brought to you by random.org. George Bush facing up, which means John carries on the other side. Low seed gets to pick. That's going to be me with the 15 seed. And, you know, we're going bush on chips, baby bush. So we will flip.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: That's my baby. Christ, Bush. Get out of here.
[00:23:55] Speaker A: Hell, yeah.
[00:23:57] Speaker B: Bush would come to hang out for the Super bowl bracket. Bush uninvited at the tour. What's up, buddy?
[00:24:04] Speaker A: He's making his presence known. But if there is a present, you're inviting to the Super bowl party.
[00:24:10] Speaker B: It's Bush.
[00:24:10] Speaker A: It's probably Bush.
[00:24:11] Speaker B: Beautiful, baby.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: You know. You know, you want to say, like, no, I'd invite Barack Obama. You're gonna invite Barack Obama to your Super bowl party? Your nasty, slovenly Super bowl party.
[00:24:23] Speaker B: I can't have him see me there.
[00:24:24] Speaker A: I can't have him see me like this. Now, don't get me wrong. It would make more sense because at least I'm going to act more natural than me trying to throw a fancy dinner party. Could you imagine telling all your friends, like, hey, you guys, we're going to have a fancy dinner party this Saturday. Obama's coming.
[00:24:38] Speaker B: What if I could, I might be able to finally get nationally recognized as a saucy menace.
It's just a problem if Obama gets on tv. He's like, cody is a problem with wings. He is a national issue.
[00:24:51] Speaker A: He goes on hot ones and they're. You ever. What's your familiarity with, like, chicken wings, man? I was just at a guy. I'm going to shout out, Cody, Lena, the soft king, the soft mess. That's my dude right there getting messy with them. He's in it, in that sauce game.
[00:25:07] Speaker B: All right, cookies versus chips. Nick, this is hard.
[00:25:10] Speaker A: Two great flavors that go great together. By the way.
[00:25:13] Speaker B: I love one. Can't.
[00:25:15] Speaker A: The. You mentioned homemade cookies. I'm honestly fine, too.
This also, let's be clear. These are the, I would say, potentially the lazy man's bringing item, right?
Because chips, everyone knows, is the default for the least responsible person is the least responsible friend.
[00:25:31] Speaker B: You get the text, say, bring chips.
You know what? They think they're for you.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:25:36] Speaker B: Hey, but guess what? You made the cut.
[00:25:37] Speaker A: Yeah, that's fine. And now all you have to do is just not mess up the chip selection. Because this is where I think sometimes people may want to get a little, like, have some fun with these chips and might bring, like, a salt and vinegar or like, hey, I got these chili lime Doritos. You're like, you were so close. Yeah, the regular Doritos, the cool ranch Doritos were right in front of you, and you looked over and you're like, ooh, flaming hot chili lime. This will set the party off, right?
[00:26:06] Speaker B: I brought local organic blue corn tortilla chips. I will fucking fight you.
[00:26:12] Speaker A: Why?
Or unless it's to build a chip house. Because those have structural integrity.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Yeah, if we're building chip houses, that's one thing, but you got to let me know. I didn't wear my overalls.
[00:26:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm going to be crunching for hours.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: Right?
[00:26:31] Speaker A: If you're bringing chips just right down the middle of the road, folks.
[00:26:35] Speaker B: That's the weird part, too, is that if you're the chip guy, that means not only do they not trust you, but you can still fuck up. Yeah, right. You can still fuck up.
[00:26:43] Speaker A: Especially because now you're thinking like, well, I'll show them. I'll show them. I can be fancy, too. I can get the nice chips, dog, no one wants the point. Now you show up with nice chips. Like, fuck you guys. I got nice chips. You didn't think I would do that, did you? They're like, no, we were really hoping you wouldn't. What the hell, dude? No, I kettle cooked those chips. I don't care.
[00:27:03] Speaker B: I don't care, bro. Come on.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: We just wanted Doritos, my guy.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: Where's a cookie? If you walk in with those little bags of chips and not have a chili, get back out in the car.
[00:27:13] Speaker A: Get your ass out there, like, with cookies. Don't get me wrong. I think, yeah, just make a set of chocolate chip. That's fine. But I like seeing a couple of oreos. I don't mind a little branding on the table. A nutter butter just showing up to sponsor the event, because that's how I view it when I see the label. It's the only label I can see. So I'm like, nice. The Super bowl party sponsored by nutter butter.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: Love it. Dude, I think I got to go cookies on this one. Well, fuck, this is hard, man.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: See, I just don't need the sweet. But I love taking a chip. I like making a chip now. Like a crumbly dust on top of everything. It becomes the crouton in my salad that I've made on the table. You know what I'm saying?
[00:27:59] Speaker B: I don't mind that one bit. And here's what I was thinking, actually. I was thinking I'm excited every time I see cookies because I don't see them every time. But I have to see chips.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: I have to have to see chips.
[00:28:11] Speaker B: We might not even be able to call this a party. The authorities might break this up if there's no chips.
[00:28:15] Speaker A: I got to have something that no matter what. Because here's the thing, too. You got to think about it. A Super bowl party. You hope you're going to know everyone, but maybe there's someone who doesn't know someone. Or you're getting invited because you're a new guy at work and they're inviting you over. You need something you can just always go back to that table for. And just have a couple or something.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: You can get out, like, oh, cool, yeah, I got to go get some chips. Because if they suck, you need an out.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: You need something to just get you an ability to just have a function at the party is that, like, you can always go back to it. You can just grab those real quick. Grab a couple of chips. Because you can't just keep filling up your plate with meatballs. You don't want to become meatball Tony.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: All of a sudden, you don't. Nick, I'm so lucky I met you and you became my best friend.
[00:29:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I do tell you that all the time, but I'm glad you're finally saying it.
[00:29:05] Speaker B: Without you, the only person that's always been there that I can count on, I would have had to turn to chips. The only other thing that's always been there for me, I'd be a billion pounds.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: Right? Luckily, you have me the chips.
[00:29:16] Speaker B: First of all, thank your best friend, because without them, you would be addicted to chips. I like chips.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: I'm with you here. I think chips got to be there. Cookies are nice. I'm happy to see a cookie, but I don't need a cookie. Need these chips. These Doritos. But once again, salt and vinegar. You say the hell out of this party. This is not for you.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: Here's the deal. If you want to freestyle on chips, that's totally fine, but you got to bring the normal ones.
[00:29:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:41] Speaker B: You're like, hey, I brought fucking these salt and Vinegar chips that are made. That's not the weird fact. They don't even use salt. They use the tears of kids. I think it's pretty fucked up. We should try it. Yeah, cool. I also am going to need nacho cheese. Doritos.
[00:29:54] Speaker A: Yeah, that's it. Pretty easy stuff here, man. Barbecue chips. That's what I need. I need barbecue chips. All right, chips. Moving on to the final four. And that is it, folks. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of friendly competition. If you want about your boys, a few things that you can do, as always, share with a friend, tell a friend. Wherever you're listening to this, make sure you hit that like that. Follow that. Subscribe, and give us those five stars wherever you can.
[00:30:20] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. Follow us on all our social media. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. Just go at friendly comp pod. If you have an idea for a whole 16 team you'd like to see us thing do, put a whole team in tournament one team, Bret. Best team put in the team put in the. What is that? The dream team from the Olympics put in.
[00:30:37] Speaker A: I'm sure there's, like, 1985 bears, the.
[00:30:40] Speaker B: Miracle on ice team that the Monstar can get far. The monstar is. Good choice. That one team that let the dog play in airbud. Unstoppable.
[00:30:49] Speaker A: Jefferson High School, I think.
[00:30:52] Speaker B: What about the brazilian soccer team that crashed and had to eat each other in the mountains?
[00:30:57] Speaker A: Talk about teamwork.
[00:30:58] Speaker B: We'll talk about teamwork.
[00:31:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
Shout out to Charizard for that intro. Outro music. You want to hear more of their stuff? Head over to bandcamp. Type in Charizard, replace the vowels with sixes. That is going to be it for us, folks. Group D coming out on Wednesday. But until then, I've been Nick Carey.
[00:31:14] Speaker B: And I'm Cody Lennon. See you on the boat.
