Episode Transcript
[00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to friendly competition, a podcast to discover the best of all time. I'm Nick Carey alongside my co host and best friend, Cody Lena. We discuss various pop culture topics and narrow it down to truly the best of all time.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Or as we like to call it, the boat. Before I step foot on the boat, we put them into a sweet 16 style tournament. We argue each round till we decide a winner. Nick, what could do we use. We decide who steps foot on the boat.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: Whatever the hell we want. Cody, you want to tell them what we're talking about this season?
[00:00:43] Speaker B: Yes, I do, Nick. This round's interesting to me because it's food that we're talking about. Breakfast. I just want to get it. It's like food that people think is fancy, but it's not fancy in any way. Like, who decided quiche was fancy? When I see quiche, like, oh, my gosh, you made a quiche for me, Doug. You just bake it.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: Yeah, it's baked scrambled eggs.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Like in a pie crust, which once again, you can make your own.
[00:01:08] Speaker B: If I see donuts, I'm like, oh, shit, donuts. This is great. Something quick and easy. Donuts are hard as fuck. You make donuts?
[00:01:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:14] Speaker B: Right.
[00:01:15] Speaker A: Yeah, that's a good point that actually the. The act of making donuts is not. It's not for the fan. You can't. You're not making donuts at home.
[00:01:22] Speaker B: Like, it's a living nightmare. And I'm giving. If some. If someone shows up with homemade donuts to a party, right. And a quiche for some brunch party or something, I almost willing to guarantee that people like, oh, my God, a quiche. Oh, my God.
[00:01:33] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: Oh, my God, a quiche. It's like, bitch, somebody should give the donut person a fucking parade, right?
[00:01:40] Speaker A: Yes. For sure that. Yes. We are here, folks, talking about these breakfast items, these breakfast meals.
We are here in group D, which means group a, b, and c have already happened. So go back, listen to those. See who those champions are as we decide who's going to be the last member of the final four. Once again, we took 16 breakfast meals. We sent it off to our bracketologist. They kicked it back to us. And here we have in the three seed a quiche going up against that 14 seed donuts. And then on the other side, we got the six seed french toast going up against the eleven seed oatmeal. Cody, where do you want to start?
[00:02:18] Speaker B: Let's keep it in the quiche and donut realm.
[00:02:20] Speaker A: Let's do it.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: So I just. I'm there's part of me just can't get over the fact that I was gaslit my whole life into thinking quiche was fancy, right?
[00:02:28] Speaker A: Yeah. No, you were.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: Who did this to us, though? Someone had to do this. Is it big quiche, the French? Yeah, big French.
[00:02:36] Speaker A: This is. This was. The French is like, when, after World War two. I mean, you can go look this up. This is. I mean, well, the problem is we don't teach history anymore, but we just.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: I mean, we teach liberalism. If we want to get into it, we teach wokeness.
[00:02:50] Speaker A: We're not teaching history anymore like we used to. But you can go back, look at the record. Basically, after 1945, France is, like, in a pr struggle, right?
They were trying to, like, we were with the Allies. We won world War two. And everyone's like, you shut the fuck up, France. You barely had anything to do with this. We saved your ass.
[00:03:11] Speaker B: You would have sided on whoever was winning, you fucking little bitch.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: You would have flipped so quick if you didn't know we were coming up on Normandy. So you shut your ass up. So they were like, okay, what's the thing we've done for the world? What have we provided? And they're like, okay, wait. They love us for our pastries. Okay, what haven't. Why have we not brought into the game? They hadn't had a great breakfast dish yet. And so there it was one night, a woman named Lorraine.
Oh. Oh, was that a. Oh, now, you thought that was a coincidence, folks? No. Quiche Lorraine is named after a very nice woman who. That the French then exploited for her dessert, sent her all around the world showing people how to make this delicious. This delicious breakfast item. And. Cause France was like, we got. Dog. We got to do something. We look so bad after all this. So that's the history of the quiche now, you know.
[00:04:06] Speaker B: Hey, you know what? So world War two happens, and then we got quiche. Was it worth it in the end? At the end of the day, I'll let the audience decide. Side on that one.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: Cody, can I ask you a question?
[00:04:17] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:04:18] Speaker A: What is it about donuts that makes me think this is an acceptable breakfast?
[00:04:22] Speaker B: I don't. Dude, like, talk about pr, man. Some guys, like, some dude just decided, like, we can have fucking cake for breakfast. This is cake for breakfast. I don't get. You can say whatever you want. It's cake for breakfast.
[00:04:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
And I would argue it's worse. Cake, like a muffin, is a cupcake, right? We can all say, essentially, you're talking about the same that's a cupcake for breakfast. And we're. And that's fine. We can accept that. Instead, they're like, no, no. What if I took that, that batter, though, and then I fried it in oil? And I feel like a donut is more breakfast than a muffin. And I'm like. And they're like, oh, not only am I going to fry it in oil, I'm definitely adding frosting all over.
[00:05:02] Speaker B: I'm just covering. Completely covering it in sugar.
[00:05:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:05] Speaker B: I'm not even going to cover it in sugar. I'm going to glaze it in sugar.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: In sugar. Every. There will not be a single speck of this that isn't covered with my wonderful hot, sticky glaze. Okay.
[00:05:17] Speaker B: Eat three of those. That's breakfast. That's a breakfast.
[00:05:19] Speaker A: You can have that every. And here's the thing. Cause I know I can. I can already hear you all. Hey, you talked a lot of shit about pancakes and waffles and how those are bad for. And those make you feel bad and you let, you didn't let them move on. I don't know. This. Once again, the magic of the donut pr. I would never blame a donuthenne for 1 second for how I feel afterwards. I'll be, I'll be sitting in my office shaking from all the sugar and just like, feral, like an animal being like, why do I feel insane right now? I don't feel full. I don't feel satisfied.
[00:05:51] Speaker B: That's about that coffee I had.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, man. I don't know. Probably something I ate last night. It's definitely not the fact that I crushed three donuts.
No, no, no. It's never your fault. Donuts. You never have to worry. Don't ever feel like I would blame you for this.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: I. Okay, I understand where you are at. Here's where I'm at. I can never eat more than one donut. I just can't do it. My body will not allow it to happen. My spirit isn't willing. I just can't do it. I've got to go. Quiche.
[00:06:18] Speaker A: What's your favorite. What's your favorite donut? You're at. You're at a dunkin, you're at a crispy, you're at wherever. Wherever you get your donuts. What is. What is the one you gotta have? Especially knowing that you're only gonna have one.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, here's the thing. I don't like cake donuts.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: No. Oh, yeah. Let's be clear. Cause, uh, yeah, no, we're not. I'm not including cake donut. Cause we're in it.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: No, no, I want legit real donuts. If. Yeah, if they've got legit real donuts with a maple glaze, that's usually the one I'm gonna get.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: Ooh.
[00:06:44] Speaker B: But if they don't have that, dude, I'll just go fucking standard glazed donut.
[00:06:47] Speaker A: I love a standard glaze. I love maple is a classy gentleman's one. That's a nice one.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: I. Yeah, but I I always want to go classic. Cause I want to judge the. We had a place, mister donut, like, right by my house, dog.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:07:00] Speaker B: I will hook you up. The glaze was so good, I went back and got the strawberry glazed doughnut. Even better. Now I got a donut spot. But it's very. If they can't do a glaze, do you think they're gonna do something else, dog?
[00:07:10] Speaker A: Did you know when you picked your. When you bought your house that you were just in, like, a breakfast food mecca for me? Like, I did not. What am I doing? I told you all the time, dude.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: Nick, dude, the donut spot. Donuts are on point. Don't. They don't make any lattes. They don't make anything. Just black coffee. And their coffee's garbage. So it's like, what are we doing here?
[00:07:29] Speaker A: I love that. I love that. That's so. Because that feels like they were just like, I just want to make donuts. That's. This is what I love to do. I want to make donuts. Someone's like, uh, yeah, can I, uh. I'm gonna do two, uh, two glaze and just a cup of coffee. That'd be great. Like, we don't do coffee. We have donuts. We're don. It's Mister Donuts. I'm Mister donuts and coffee. And then it just happened, and I was like, fine. You guys want your fucking coffee? They just went to. They just bought the lowest end shit. Like, they're just dumping it. They just are dumping grounds and water, and they're, like, serving it, dude.
[00:07:58] Speaker B: They're not even grinding the beans. It's just soaking the beans.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: There you go. That's your coffee.
[00:08:04] Speaker B: Donuts are on point, though. Donuts are on point.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: I love. I love that. So I'd rather it be like that. I'd rather. I'd rather. I don't want. I don't want to lose. I don't want them to sacrifice the quality of my doughnut for the. For the coffee to be good. No. Get out of here. I don't need that. I can go get good coffee.
[00:08:19] Speaker B: Let's think about it this way, though. Donuts. If I see a lot of shit on a donut, frosted flakes or stuff, I assume it's a bad donut, right? And you're covering it up a little bit.
[00:08:27] Speaker A: I. Yeah, I mean, I do think. I think there were places. I mean, like, the famous one is voodoo donuts out in Portland. Who is doing this? And I think they were doing it as, like, that was an artistic expression. But I totally agree with you that then everyone else was like, oh, we don't actually have to make good donuts anymore.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: No, we just have to add fruity pebbles. Cause everyone likes fruity pebbles.
[00:08:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's gonna count. I. I gotta go donut. I'm gonna tell you right now. Do I think that a quiche is actually a really. It's a delightful. It's a delightful breakfast. It's a nice little. It's always, I like my little slice of my quiche pie or whatever, and I'll eat that. But I'm telling you right now, it is rare. If your boy is at a restaurant wanting quiche, you got to tell me that we are going to the quiche spot.
[00:09:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:07] Speaker A: Hey, man. Yo. This is where you get quiche? Cause I'm not. It's just not up there for me. It's not what I'm trying to be about for breakfast.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: You know, if we take breakfast completely out of equation, which is a wild sentence I'm saying in a breakfast round, but listen, right? If I. I could drive by a quiche spot a thousand times, and I'm not. Maybe once, I'm like, yeah, I can fucking go for a quiche. Yeah, I'll drive by. I could have just eaten a whole meal and drive past a donut spot and be like, I mean, if the light is on, just fresh, I'm like, well, maybe.
[00:09:35] Speaker A: Well, who am I? Like, God, for the. I don't think. I feel like I don't get enough credit for how many times I have to pass by a donut shop and I don't get donuts.
[00:09:44] Speaker B: That's exactly what I'm saying.
[00:09:45] Speaker A: I deserve.
[00:09:47] Speaker B: I deserve donuts.
[00:09:48] Speaker A: I deserve to be credited and awarded every time I drive by a dunkin. I'm like, not today. I'm sorry. I gotta get. I got places to go. Because my heart, every part of my heart, my soul is like, just pop it in, Nick. How long is it gonna take to grab one donut? It's gonna make your life infinitely better.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I've noticed that. I've never been in a situation that a donut would make worse, right?
[00:10:09] Speaker A: No, not at all. Not at all. So I'm. I'm gonna move donuts on. What are you doing?
[00:10:14] Speaker B: Donuts too? Yeah, donuts, too. Donuts too. Although good quiche. I'll eat it.
[00:10:18] Speaker A: A good quiche is great, but, like, it's. This is. Keisha, this isn't your fault, but once again, you do not have the. I know. The France. France tried really hard on that pr move, but, man, the devil works hard. But pr for donuts works harder. You know what I'm saying? They're out here. All right, next up, we got french toast going up against oatmeal.
Oatmeal. Thanks for coming. We appreciate jokes.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: Oatmeal. Hey. Hey, folks.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: You try to come up with 16 breakfast items, okay? Guess what 16 is. Oatmeal. No, I'm sorry.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: No, you did a good job. I go, it's egregious that I can go to a restaurant and see oatmeal.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: No, that's the menu.
[00:11:01] Speaker B: Why are we even fucking doing here? The second I was old enough to no longer be forced fed gruel, which is what oatmeal is, I stopped eating oatmeal. I'm a grown ass Mandez. No, do not tell me. Well, if you put blueberries and fresh apples.
[00:11:15] Speaker A: Fuck you. Yeah, that's blueberries and apples, right? I'll just eat those and get the nutrients from those. Yeah, I don't. Man. Here's. Here's. Here's a little story about Nick's life. At 25 years old, I went to the doctor for, like, the. Like. I was like, you know what? I'm an adult now. I got to take care of myself. Let me go talk to the doctor. Go to see the doctor. Doctor tells me, hey, Nick, uh, you're doing okay, but your. Your cholesterol is not where it should be. You gotta. Here's what you gotta do. You gotta cut out. You know, you got to cut out beer, dairy, and red meat. And for breakfast, you got to have oatmeal. And I was scared. I was like, I don't want to die like this. So I ate oatmeal. Six months breakfast oatmeal every day. Then you know what I decided? I was like, this isn't. Life shouldn't be worth this. This isn't. I don't want to stick around longer if this is the price.
[00:12:02] Speaker B: Exactly. Oh, I'm rewarding myself. With what?
[00:12:04] Speaker A: More fucking oatmeal, right? Yeah. So that's all I get to know is like, well, you'll get to have more days with oatmeal. No, no, no. Give me that fucking bacon and I'll call it early, dude. Like, I'll get out of here then. I don't want to. I don't need to stay too long anyway. Don't bind me if. Oatmeal. Fuck you, dude. And there's not. Don't you. You eat it because you have to. You never eat it because you want to.
[00:12:29] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. So french toast. Get out of here.
[00:12:32] Speaker A: French toast. Get your ass in here.
[00:12:34] Speaker B: Oatmeal is what you give kids who are going through puberty for breakfast. Boys specifically. Cause I was a boy. I don't know how it was for women, but we all, we want to eat the whole time. So this oatmeal, it costs a penny and we can eat a ten pounds of it.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: Yep. And it'll. And it'll just harden in there. And that way it's like, okay, I feel full cuz there's just a block of oatmeal in my stomach now and I can at least feel something. This endless bit is plugged for a little bit.
[00:12:58] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:12:59] Speaker A: Get out of here, oatmeal. All right, french toast. Gonna move on and go up against donuts now. Cody, I want to. I want to see if you feel this way. Cause once again, we talked about pancakes and waffles in group c. Go listen to that. But one of the arguments I made was like, you know, this is just ends up being something that I can't go back to that often. It's. It's too much sugar, it's just too dense and I don't feel good afterwards. Yes, french toast. Something about the fact that I get to that I dunk this in eggs immediately makes me like, no, I can handle this. This is good. I don't feel. I don't feel the same. I love french toast.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Okay, all right. I love french toast. And we have to have a breakfast party. Cause you're gonna have to make me one of your omelets and I'll make you one of my. I make french toast. I make a mean french toast.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: I want it cool. I want it back.
[00:13:44] Speaker B: Here's the problem, though. What you just said is terrible. French toast cannot be on the same plate as eggs.
[00:13:50] Speaker A: No, no, no. I'm saying you dunk it in the egg. Like that's what makes it like. Because you have to dredge it in an egg. Got it and then put it on. Yes, that. Adding that egg to it. I'm like, yeah, no, this is like a healthy breakfast now. Like, no, no, no, you can not. Healthy. I don't wanna say healthy, but I'm like, well, it's not just sugar and, like, dough. There's egg in there that's helping out.
[00:14:13] Speaker B: I don't have any sugar added to my french toast.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: Cinnamon sugar in your egg mix.
[00:14:16] Speaker B: I do cinnamon. I don't use sugar.
[00:14:18] Speaker A: Oh, that's fair. Oh, wait, no, I probably don't use sugar. Cause that would burn. I would do it later. Powdered sugar at the end, but yeah, sometimes.
[00:14:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're all set, baby. French toast is a part of a well balanced breakfast. You have french toast. You have french toast in a salad, you're good to go.
[00:14:32] Speaker A: Yeah, add that.
[00:14:33] Speaker B: It's not on the menu, but I was at a place that gave me a breakfast salad. Fuck off. Fuck right off.
[00:14:38] Speaker A: Fuck off.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: It was just like. I got a quiche, right? And next to it was like an arugula salad with like a Dijon vinaigrette.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:14:46] Speaker B: Just like a little dusting of veggies on top.
[00:14:49] Speaker A: So it was a salad. So you had a salad and they had the nerve to call it breakfast. They didn't put bacon on it.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: No bacon, no nothing, dog. It was just a fucking. Yeah, it was like nine in the morning. It was a breakfast salad. I don't care what you call it. Don't give me that.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: No, I understand. I'll give it to you. I like a brunch situation. If it's after 11:00 add a little. You can add a little salad to the side of it. Okay, I get it. But if it's pre 11:00 hash browns, motherfucker.
[00:15:18] Speaker B: What are you doing?
[00:15:19] Speaker A: What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm not going to eat salad at nine in the morning. What is this?
[00:15:26] Speaker B: No.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: How dare you?
[00:15:28] Speaker B: Is this the America you liberals want?
[00:15:30] Speaker A: Right?
That's. Hey, man, it scares me. Scares me.
[00:15:35] Speaker B: Okay, here's the thing. I eat a lot more donuts than I eat french toast. No, right. No one ever shows up to the office with a fucking box full of french toast. Wish you would.
[00:15:43] Speaker A: Should.
That's a. That's a soggy box. And I get it, though. That's gonna be a problem.
[00:15:49] Speaker B: But we start a company called soggy bottoms, okay. And all we do is sell stuff in boxes that shouldn't be.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: Is that anything but our box? But that's the fun thing, is our boxes hold you like, whoa, this shouldn't be this good of a box, but their box holds all this french toast.
Dude, our ads are just problems that no one's ever had. Have you been trying to deliver salmon to your friends, and you try to put it in a box and bring it to the party, and all of a sudden, your box is all soggy? Not anymore with soggy bottom boxes.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: Are you tired of your box of spaghetti getting too soggy to eat before lunchtime?
[00:16:23] Speaker A: No, not anymore with soggy bottom boxes.
[00:16:27] Speaker B: I love it, dude. I'm. Here's where I'm at. I'm at the french toast point in my life where I want this french toast. I eat a lot of donuts. I'm trying to give them points for that, but I think their pr is just what's leading them. French toast is where I'm at.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: French. I mean, here's the thing. Me and my wife recently discovered. My wife was like, hey, I really. I just want you to make, like, I want french toast. I don't want it in the normal way. She's like, I kind of want it in, like, kind of like a casserole or, like a bake situation. Dog. I'll post the. I'll post this recipe to everyone. This has now become a staple in the home. We make a french toast bake. You get yourself a loaf of brioche, chop that up into little bits, mix, you know, dredge, or put your egg mix in there overnight, pop that sucker in the oven. Wow, dude. Amazing. French. That's the thing. French toast is out here being like, hey, I can also be sticks. Do you want. Do you want little dunkers? Do you need just to get through real quick, quick on your day, you don't got a lot of time. Get yourself a french toastic. Dunk me, bro. I love dog. I I love donuts. And this feels almost like. This feels like maybe the. The most, like, me going against, like, my heroes and decide and, like, stabbing my heroes in the. This is my a two brutus moment, right?
[00:17:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:40] Speaker A: Donuts is gonna turn around and see me with my knife in their back and say.
[00:17:46] Speaker B: Here'S the thing. Yeah, donuts. I agree. Their pr was so good, but what they did do, french toast, like you said, can. They can be new in the game. They can innovate the game with the bakes and the sticks. Don't. Anything that's not a donut shape is no longer a donut. They. They're too good at marketing. They painted themselves into a corner. They can't from here.
[00:18:04] Speaker A: Hey, donuts. Hey. Hey. You're good enough on your own, by the way. I don't know what you're trying to do with burgers right now. What you've. What. What's been happening there? That is. That is you. If you think that you need Burger, Burger wants you. You do not need Burger. Get Burger out of here. Stop it. You are good enough on your own. You are amazing by yourself. I don't need anything else. I don't need donut sundaes. I don't need. Whatever. Just donut.
[00:18:31] Speaker B: Donut.
[00:18:31] Speaker A: You are good enough. Burger.
[00:18:33] Speaker B: Burger doesn't even stand. But when you're not around, Burger is not defending you.
[00:18:37] Speaker A: No.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Burger isn't talking about how much it loves you. It needs you.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: No, it's not at all.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: You're too good for burgers.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: Something I do on the side. You're like, you are burger side piece. It is not giving you the respect you deserve. Get out of there. This isn't good for you. Just get back into. Just be Krispy Kreme.
[00:18:54] Speaker B: Love it. I do love that.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: I do love.
[00:18:57] Speaker B: I'm not french toast.
[00:18:58] Speaker A: I got to, man. I. I got a little special part.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: In my heart because it's the only breakfast I can make. Well, sure. Yeah.
[00:19:07] Speaker A: Hey, it's. What? But it. It's one of those breakfasts that as long as you can do it even. Okay. It's got a pretty low floor.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, for sure.
[00:19:15] Speaker A: You know, like, you're like. Yeah, you can just make it like, it's, like, it's not hard to whip up. And everyone's like, oh, good. You know, you can elevate it, certainly.
[00:19:23] Speaker B: Yes. But.
[00:19:24] Speaker A: But I mean, we've all had just, like, white bread. Just. Just, you know, your white bread sandwich meat or not sandwich meat, but your white bread sandwich bread. Toss that in with some eggs, a little bit of cinnamon. Toss it on the. On the stove. That's.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: That is french. Bang, bang, boom.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, folks, we're going to move french toast there, where as our Group D champion, where it will go up against, like I said, that Group A, B and C champion on Friday until we get there. Thank you all so much for listening to this episode of friendly competition. Learn about chip boys, a few things that you can do. As always, share with a friend, tell a friend. Wherever you're listening to this, make sure you hit that. Like that. Follow that. Describe, subscribe, and give us those five stars, please.
[00:20:11] Speaker B: Absolutely. Follow us on all of our social media accounts, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, just look up at friendly compod. If you have an idea for all 16 team tournament you'd like to see us do, email those two friendly cuptraep podcast mail.com.
[00:20:23] Speaker A: As always, shout outs to Charizard for that intra music. You want to hear more of their stuff and over to band camp, type in Charizard. Replace the vowels with sixes. That is going to be it for us, folks. We got that final four Friday coming up. But until then, I've been Nick Carey.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: And I'm Cody Lena. See you on the boat.
